someone help!!

[gammieof1]

The hub is being such an arse... I swear I feel like going all psycho on his arse.  He is messing with me on purpose to make me feel all the pain I have caused others throwing everything in my face...which is making me want to run to my green friends. He thibks tgis is toughing me up but I think this is flat out abuse. I'm strongee than him and when I'm all better he better be cery afraid there's a reason I stay screwed up n I temember now!!!  Ro stay with this stupid f!
sorry for venting in flipping out. Going on 59ish hours off loris and somas.  

[gammieof1]

Kme I know right? I just don't have the energy right now.  This has gone on for years usually resulting in bruises a couple times a month.  He swears they are not from him the next morning.  I'm getting strong and clean and leaving.  I read ur posts and wow kme I'm right behind you so u can give me a heads up...tomorrow day 4 is that really the worst so far?

[kme17]

That is weird. You might want to find out what he is on! Cause its something!

[gammieof1]

Thank you all...he took his ring off tonight n gave it back.  He keeps hiding around the house or I catch him hiding in the kids tree house...he's acting really weird he disappeared for a few hours n picked me up from my brothers fuming.  I actually had a day of peace on the boat n water today...NO MEDS!!  course I wasn't the life of the party like usual I just floated off by myself. I'm really doing this

[minn66]

Some people make others miserable in order to make themselves feel better. Use your anger to fuel your determination. Do not let him drag you down. No one forced pills into his mouth so granted, you may have brought them into the house, but he took them. Sounds like he doesn't want to lose his supply. I had my share of years dealing with a domineering, controlling man. Everything was my fault, or according to him. Hah, I left his sorry butt a few years ago and he still has his problems, but now they are his current wife's fault ;)

You take care of yourself and concentrate on your health and sobriety. You are worth it!

Hugs,
Minn

[kme17]

Haha didnt know they edit on their own... Said pri*k

[kme17]

Wow i would bring the iron fist right thru his teeth.. i would havealready fist fought him. Keep doing what ur doing. And one day when you bags r in hand you can tell him i am a better person now with no thanks to u! *****

[dominosarah]

So nice to see you Jimmy!!!  

gammie and Pat, Jimmy has a wealth of knowledge too.  We are lucky to have him on this forum~~~

[gammieof1]

Awesome...Patti we are going at about the same and we have Domino to keep focused on so that we can say that!

[Jimmy1975]

We have all been there my friend . Took me 4 times of stopping and starting ! Like Sara said congrats on those two days ! God bless ..Jimmy

[dominosarah]

Congrats on those 2 days!!!  We do this one day at a time, no matter how much clean time we have~~~

[Pat1956100]

I have been clean for 2 days.

[dominosarah]

I have been clean for 4 yrs 1 month````

[gammieof1]

Patti and Domino how many days has it been for you?

[gammieof1]

Thank you...I'm going to do this for me to prove I AM strong!  This is the same hub that told me he had  2 hidden...I know my part n i feel guilty cause i got him on them so he's partially my fault.
I feel empowered at this moment. I have gone to the other room he's leaving me b now mostly because he's getting drunk. This little life I have is now starting. I'm 37 and now I know my purpose.. at least when I'm sane...lol

[dominosarah]

Dont give him the power to mess with you.  At some point you will be able to take responsibility for your part but not tonight or tomorrow.  If you can go to another room then do so.  When i want to drown out the stresses of the world i put in my ear buds and get lost in my music.  Your not losing your mind, not even close but you gotta stay strong right now.

[Pat1956100]

Good for you.  They say you have to cut off all suppliers and if your husband is still using it will be impossible for you to stay clean.  This battle is hard enough without having someone throw it in our face.
Be very proud of yourself.  You are doing great and staying strong.  If you really want to **** him off, get clean, get a life.  lol

[gammieof1]

I'm scared I'm losing my mind...all my demons are staring me down trying to drag me back to hell n I swear to God this is NOT happening to me!  I'm stronger than they think n I will not go out this time without one hell of a fight! My life HAS changed and I will continue to change every day to become what I want for my life!
Sam....u don't even know what's coming....I'm getting rid of any and all yuckiness in my life

Too bad he wont see that...teehee

[Pat1956100]

Just worry about you right now.  Your not using is the most important thing.  You can't control him or what he does.  Stay clean and stay strong.  Don't sit and listen to his abuse.  

[gammieof1]

Truth be told I had my problem under control, said like a true addict right, lol I have a s
Rx and only take half what's given..
He finds my bottle n in 7 days its gone because he pops them like pez!!  So I'm doing this for both of us he wanted this....I think he's still taking them.
I'm proud of myself I told people that love me to make myself accountable!  I even told the girl that helps me get by....like a true friend she told me if I ever ask for them it will b no cause she loves me and is proud!  She offered to bring me a xanex to use for the next few days which I declined.
He's so damn happy right now...or is my mind messing w me?

[Pat1956100]

You are in full withdrawals now and this isn't helping.  It's almost over so tell him to leave you alone for awhile.

[Pat1956100]

Tell him you won't discuss anything with him until you are clean and feeling better and then you will have a long talk with him.  If that doesn't work, get the hell out of there. He probably doesn't want you clean so he can still control you.