Concerned Mom

[sundancer1820]

My daughter has been on the methadone program and I am not sure what to do because I think she's still finding a way to get high.  She earned a few days' take homes now and told me that she is being titrated down because she says she wants to get off of the methadone.  She told me that she will not drink her entire dose but that she is going to be storing some because she wants to come down faster than the clinic is advising her and she thinks that if she stores some of her methadone, if she starts having withdrawals by coming down too fast, doing it herself, she can drink some of what she hoarded.  

I don't know what to believe with her.   I saw her yesterday and she was acting very weird.  She admitted that she had a shot of vodka, but she kept nodding out, talking nonsense, flipping from one subject to another making it very difficult for me to follow her train of thoughts.  I went to pick up my grandson to take him over to a sleepover and an hour went by with her nodding out and me trying to figure out her disjointed thoughts and what she could possibly be on.  Could alcohol do this?  How about crack?  

She lost it when my 8-year-old grandson started to complain.  Out of nowhere she got in his face and started yelling at him that she needed to finish her report (she is going to school to be a surgical tech).  He then said he just wanted to get over to his friend's house to enjoy playing with him for awhile before it got too late and they had to go to bed and after he said the other boy's name, my daughter starting yelling the boy's name and started looking for him in her house.  It's a very f**ed up situation because she is divorced but is still living with her ex who so happens to be her two boys' father (I have two grandsons).  My daughter and her ex are both in the program.  Now, I'm a complete and total moron when it comes to using.  I know something is wrong with her, but can anyone tell me here if one shot of vodka can make someone on methadone hallucinate and nod out like that?  I need to help my daughter.  I know she is incapable of doing it herself, even though she says she wants to.  I thought about having her committed.  She needs outside intervention.  I'm not strong enough to do it myself (she has beaten me up already and I am scared of her).  I have no husband.  Her natural father and she are not on speaking terms and he's clear across the country anyway.  I have no significant other who would give a damn about her or my family.  She can get very violent sometimes and I have no one to turn to.  I gave this a lot of thought.  If I get her committed, I know they might take the kids away, but then if I don't do anything, I think she will die and her ex will move out of the state and take the boys with him and I probably will never see them again because I am too poor to afford to travel.  I am on a fixed income and on disability.  So, I would rather save my daughter from her self destruction and hope for the best.  I just don't know how to go about doing it anonymously because if she finds out anything that I ratted her out, I don't think she will kill me, but I know she will maim me pretty badly.  What can I do?  

[gnarly_1]

Hi and welcome to the forum....I did what your daughter is trying to do by weening herself
off the methadone from her take homes ...I think this might be where your problem lies
when you do that yourself you sometimes short yourself to much and you dont always feel it right away it can take a day or so to realize you shorted yourself so you go to your saved methadone and then take more then you need just to get the "sick off"
and wind up high on the methadone  hence the nodding off and inappropriate behavior
its a viscous cycle and hard to break free off ...it took me 8 1/2mo and a lot of discipline to taper off the methadone I used a syringe to measure it out and slowly got free of it 139 days ago...theirs another angle here also and that she is reducing her dose to the bear minimum then taking the left overs to get high..methadone when taken correctly wont get you high but if your taking say 50ml and then do 100ml it will get you pritty high....I know by experience...and the symptoms you describe are that of someone high on it...so one way or another she is probably high on it weather it be intentional or by accident ...they do monitor take homes at the clinic if you where to call them and tell them her symptoms and explane you think she is tampering with the take homes they will call her in with them to check to see if she has been tampering with them..(opening them early ) but if she is saving from her daily and not opening them early there will be no evidence of the tampering ...the protacall  at the clinic is to take the full dose each day as is marked on the individual bottles if theirs anything else going on and the clinic finds out they will pull her take homes so it might be worth a call to the clinic ..I feel for your daughter because the clinics go painfuly slow at taking you off the stuff thats why I did it myself if I dident I would still be on it  they only would go 2ml ever 2 weeks and I was on 150ml I actually did it in about 1/2 the time but again it is difficult to do and requires a lot of discipline especially when your getting sick coming off of it..it is very tempting to take more then you need also and as addicts it can be almost impossible not to sometimes....I hope this gives you some insight on whats going on your going to have to figure out why she is getting high on it weather it be on purpose or not ...good luck and God bless......Gnarly                

[kc156]

Hello. I am on methadone,and no,one shot of vodka will not do that.She is doing a VERY dangerous thing by storing methadone and self dosing.
SHE must want help before anything good can happen as bmdad above says.
With children involved,maybe you could talk to doctor ,or,as you said,get her off the street so to speak.
Good luck          karl

[bmdad]

Are you hoping to get her committed to a rehab? If so, I believe the only way this is possible is if your daughter is showing suicidal symptoms or if she is causing harm to others. If she is showing these symptoms she would probably get committed to a psychiatric facility and would probably only get treated for mental instability and not the actual drug problem at hand. I know you said she has assaulted you so this may be a option but I think it will only be done for severe cases. I'm not even sure what steps you would take to do this. I think it has to be court ordered so your best bet would be to talk to a lawyer. I'm not completely sure about all of this as I'm just going by what I have read on here in the past. Just thought I would relay some of what I remembered to you. Hopefully someone that knows more can help you out with better information.
I know with you being her mother you wish there was more that you could do but getting and staying clean is something you can't force her to do. She is gonna have to want it for herself.
Maybe try and get her to come to this forum. There are some wonderful and caring people on here that will not judge. They will bend over backwards to help her. But once again, this will only work if she wants the help.
Sorry you are in such a tough situation. You should check in to Al-Anon meetings for you. There are free meetings and they will help you deal with the situation you are in.
Best of luck to you.