Wonder what today will bring?

[EG70]

I will be at day 5 at 3:00pm this afternoon (PST).
I am a little fearful and leery, I woke up so dang tired this morning even though I slept better than I have in many days. I am fearful because I woke up feeling pretty good yesterday morning and it all went to hell quickly. I am terrified that today will be the same!!!
I am going to do some simple chores and see how that goes. Sadly, my interest in anything has not really returned. Yuck. It is tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I have to give this time. But it's the endless time it seems to take to feel like a human again that has usually caused my relapses.
And I failed to mention yesterday that  I am a pill addict for 8 years now. I have had 6 surgeries and have detoxed off hydros and oxys a few different times. The first time I didn't know what to expect and it was the WORST event of my life. But even with the knowledge I have of withdrawal and detox, I STILL managed to get hooked over and over and over.
I DONT understand WHY I allow my self to go back to the drugs over and over when I KNOW how miserable I was on them and how miserable it is getting off them. I often feel like I won't ever feel like I don't want or need them, physically and mentally!!!
Any positive words are appreciated!

[climbingthewalls]

you are doing awesome! im 60 hours in and dont want to fool myself but talking to a few ppl on here and getting my pooch out for some play seems to have taken the edge off. plus a sh!T load of vitamins and hot showers. no work tomorrow but dreading the return of the "hollowness" i felt thru most of today...i envy you for being on day 5. keep up the GREAT work!!!

[Pat1956100]

Hey EG
I just wanted to say hello and tell you, you are doing great.  Day 5 is fantastic and I wish I was there.  If I remember right, it takes a couple of weeks before you really can say you're feeling good.  You have ups and downs.  More like waves coming until then.  Like you said, everyone is different.  It depends on age, length of use and just your own make up.
I always seem to suffer a lot.  Bad withdrawals, no energy, can't sleep.  I'm not looking forward to going through it again but I'm going to start either tomorrow or Tuesday.  I'm stocking up on supplies and going to get through it.  Hopefully in 1 week, you will be feeling great and offering me encouragement.
I am feeling sick as it is but just have to make that final jump.

Hang in there.  It will be so worth it.  Looks like there's going to be several of us so we can all support each other.
You are ahead by at least 5 days so we'll be on your heels.

[iwantmylifebacknow]

You are a trooper! Thank you so much! I will definitely try and get to work tomorrow. Stay strong! You are doing great!

[EG70]

I thought I felt better the next day, then part way through the morning at work, I got horribly ill! I felt not too bad on day 2, but terrible on day 3. I started to have major anxiety and depression and the tummy probs came back. Day 4 was tough, today is better.
Remember, everyone is different, you might feel better tomorrow!
As hard as it was to go to work, I did it anyway, it helps keep my mind active and is helpful interacting with people, even if I did not want to.
Best of luck to you, you CAN do this!

[iwantmylifebacknow]

Congrats to you! 5 days is a huge accomplishment. Just take it one day at a time. Also make a list of all the things you are proud of. It really helps. I am on day 2 of at home detox. Im a chronic pain sufferer as well but I was abusing hydrocodone to feel better mentally. It used to give me a ton of energy however, the last several months I withdrew from everything and everyone. It's like it stopped working and I just kept taking more with no results! I cut myself off finally and will be calling my dr tomorrow to tell him to cancel my refill that is at the drug store for 6/27 pick up. That phone call tomorrow will reassure me even more that I beat this awful drug. Best of luck to you. Day 2 ***** so far when did you start to feel a little better? im shaking, sweats, runs, restless legs etc. Hope I can make it thru work tomorrow!

[otterwatcher]

Woohoo! Another day done!
You're doing really well so give yourself a HUGE pat on the back!

[EG70]

Thanks eveyone and congrats to you ALL on YOUR amazing accomplishments too!
I am a chronic pain sufferer, but a few days ago, I decided to just learn to live with it and try something else besides NARCOTICS.
I have been able to do some small chores and I am having a friend over to dinner tonight. So I guess I am doing OK! Staying pill free today!
Thankfully I have NO sources of pills, other than my doctors, but because I asked my spine doc to cut me from the narcotics, there's virtually NO chance of getting more. Which is GOOD. It's a matter of time before the urgent care docs and my regular doc are on to me anyway, so I think I will skip the embarrassment of trying to score from the docs and failing, or WORSE....succeeding in getting pills. I won't do that. At least NOT TODAY.
Good luck all and thanks again!!

[Ben727]

You should be close to the end of the worst of physical withdrawal. Try not to worry about tomorrow or the next day. Stay focused on doing the things you need to do to not take a pill today. Have cut off your sources? And have you been honest with people close to you about your struggle? Both of these help build barriers to relapse.

Also, I found the paying close attention to diet and exercise as soon as I was physically able made a big difference. Just getting out for a vigorous walk can help. And take a look at the Thomas Recipe in the sidebar, there are some great ideas there. Congratulations on five days!

[Jinx_777]

5 days is great.  should be getting better every day.   i have to be on meds and you know................  NO drive, NO interest, NO energy, etc is still something i deal with everyday.  just know that even if you did stay on them, you would get to the point that you feel this horrible EVEN with the meds.  i take them as i am supposed to, but the only hope i have of the 'NO'S' going away is to stop them all and try and live with the pain. at least you have a light at the end of the tunnel.  chronic pain patients really don't have that.  hope you all hang in there and feel better soon.  one day you may HAVE to be on this crap and IF that day comes really consider whether you want to feel this way forever or be in pain.  that is where i am.

[climbingthewalls]

it seems like I wrote your post myself. I'm at 47hrs & 34 MIN. scared that you still seem to be where I am at the mo. NO interest, NO drive, NOTHING! Just the knowledge a few pills would make me feel great, if only for a short while....
But YOU are almost there!!!!! YOU are DOING IT! I only wish i have your strength!! please keep it up!!! It seems we are both MORE than aware of the hell the addiction to these drugs so quickly becomes....the only other route is to continue this perpetual hell. YOU are doing great!!!

[Cassieszoo]

I know what you mean and what your going through. I Too have been on that  cycle. We know what to expect yet we continue to go through it time and time again. I am on day 2 it really ***** with the intense pain. Remember that day??? Your on day 5 you've got this my friend.  Don't look back we know it's not worth it.