survival of codein withdrawel

I felt it necessary, to right about my experiences of codeine withdrawal. Encase anyone has decided or thinking about doing it. I was on probably 30 tablets a day of codeine phosphate  30mg codeine and 500mg paracetamol. So that works out a day 900mg of codeine a day. I decided to quite for several reasons.I had done so many disgusting things to feed the habit not only was i getting 56 tabs a week on my own name I was getting 224 a month in some one else's name too. They did now. so that's 450 tabs a month plus  I also purchase nurfean plus, solpadine max, cough medicines, paracodal. Anything with codeine in it. I even took out of date meds. Shocking I tried to cut down and even put meds in safe. But I picked the lock with too hair clips. Mission Impossible style. I lived like this for three years solid. Every day. I denied it most of the time to myself but in the late hours when my family were sleeping I prayed to god. I told my mum in my praisers I was sorry and I knew I would die. And the thing is I dint even mind. I had lost my spirit, I had lost my memory through codeine. I had lost my body functions. I was a slave. I was in a bubble. Just me.  and codeine. On Christmas eve 2009 I was caught by my husband, he was shocked and I told him everything. He hid the pills but I found them and started taking again. Our new years resolution was to make 2010 different. I thought maybe I could make it different but still take the pills. I needed them to function, to feel to live. To handle my day to day life. My husband said you need to. Were will it end. I spilled my guts and told him everything, he cried. I cried. I told him I would stop monday this was saturday I had 150 left I could binge for the last time and then I thought no. I dont know why or how I came to the decision. I looked at him and my son was asleep. I said no I am ready now.On the 2nd January 2010 at 11.00pm I put down the loo hundred of pills, I went through cupboard the lot. I hurt my thumb bursting them. I warned my husband what would happen. I told him I would accept all withdrawals.

DAY 1 NO WITHDRAWELS, KNEW SOMETHING WAS MISSING BUT DIDNT KNOW WHAT
DAY 2 LET THE GAMES BEGIN,
cold, hot, sweating, cloudy head, sore head, sore back, lack of appetite, toilet, sickness, shacking, sleeplessness, dancing feet, agitated , weak, emotional, sneezing, coughing, burning, Adrenaline. This lasted for me for 5 days and then slowly subsided. It depends I believe on how much you have used. I seen a man on raw codeine powder day 36 for him and still had sever symptoms like in day 5. Important thing is not to freak out. Remain calm. I told myself I had a monster inside of me and I kept saying to it, do what you want batter me up and down, cos you ain't getting any.

The emotional side of it wasn't what I was prepared for. I thought that's the withdrawals done, that's me ta ta. No that's when the heeling begins. Thats when you have to function, work, family, friends, day to day stuff without being high. All the memories codeine blocks out come flooding back. You are left with you mind, you can feel things now. And its getting use to feeling again that was the scarcest part for me.

I am day 15 now, and the monsters at bay. I know hell always be inside of me. I have an addictive personality. But I can go on and live a normal life. But I will just keep an eye on myself. Like every one, I just had a sore back and it turned it this.

Med Help and the people in it are amazing. And even though, the withdrawals are gone. I don't want to forget what happened to me if you forget you might do it again.  So I think Ill stick around. Cos I have met some really cool folk and made some friends as well. And its always nice to know your not the only one.

My wings were once clipped, but now I sore high.

Have a great day folks

[Calamity2]

Congrats on day 15. Dont let your guard down as I suspect the withdrawals arent going to be gone for awhile. It will take your body and mind time to adjust emotions, pain level, thought processes etc.  You are doing great. Keep posting

[dedicatedtostop]

What an inspiration you are..........your story brings tears to my eyes. I too am beating this crap for my beautiful daughters, day 8 for me.Congrats to you! Stay Strong, as this site is AMAZING

[fuzzypeach27]

Its amazing what we do for our kids! I find it hard to forgive myself though for trailing him round doctors and chemists. It got to the point when we went to the shops he would run ahead and go to the chemists. I will keep my guard up. You have to in this game. Its only in certain circumstances that I feel cravings.This site is amazing.


Well done you 8 days, You go babe. You can beat it. You can. Stay strong to. Fuzzy sending you some love x x x x x x

[fuzzypeach27]

Hes only two my son I forgot to say.

[dedicatedtostop]

My youngest is 2, I love my kids so much, today is a rough day for me though, feel so irritable. Thanks for the support

[fuzzypeach27]

Some days will be good, some really ****** that you want to throw your self into anything that moved. I know you will make it and you know it too. Were all here for you.