Aa
therapy 4 the mind
I have my dr's appointment today and I really want to speak to him about therapy. I was in there last week and he told me that he knew I was going to other dr's for meds and he was pretty mad at me. He hasn't given me anything other than ultram in about 6 months but he also thought I was through with the loracet that he had been perscribing the 8 months prior. When he found out about me going to other dr's he said he couldn't trust me and he only gave me a few of the ultram and said I had to come back every week and check in with him to get more and so he knows I am not shopping any more. How do dr's find out about this kind of stuff? I am really trying to staighten up and I haven't used in 6 days but I am always able to do this I just can't keep myself off of them. I thought this would be a good reason to see a therapist. Any advice on this from anyone. I really want to kick this thing.
Short, to the point, yet profoundly obvious.
Does everyone feel better now?
Personally, the day after I stopped, I completely forgot about the physical part of withdrawal. I just thought all the shakes, puking and runs were nothing more than a figament of my imagination.
Does everyone feel better now?
Personally, the day after I stopped, I completely forgot about the physical part of withdrawal. I just thought all the shakes, puking and runs were nothing more than a figament of my imagination.
Make sure all of the physical part of your withdrawal is dealt with, and then get to NA or something like it if you want to stay clean.
Thomas - You know what I truly appreciate about you...your no holds bar, don't beat around the bush, straightforward honesty. I know I'm lying to myself when I say " I can live with this shoulder pain, but **** man I've invested a whole lot of energy in staying clean. Shouldn't have gotten the ******* MRI in the first place. Oh well, the doc and I plan to hold off on the surgery for 4 weeks. Hell I can hack the pain a little longer. A torn infraspinatus and superspinatus rotator cuff is such a rush!
But really thanks for being upfront...you're right sooner or later we are going to need some narcotics when life throws you a fastball and you forget to duck.
Hey you Dancing Canuck - Since I'm in such a "poopy" mood, I have a question for you...What the hell is wrong with our northern neighbors. I just spent 20 years with the Dept. of Defense...you know how it goes...travel to new strange countries, meet new strange people, then give them a high speed dose of .223 or 7.62 caliber humanitarian aid. Since my last 20 years has been in healthcare, I found myself patching up a sucking chest wound one moment, and defending myself with an M-16 the next. I worked quite a few missions with Canadian troops, not a bad lot, just wished they tagged along on this trip to Baghdad. OH well...just to lighten the subject, I did spend 2 years in the Yukon working with Canadian Special Forces, and you Canucks must come out of the womb wearing skates. I thought I played a pretty descent game of hockey, till I met those chaps.
So now you know how my shoulder is a piece a ****. When those Canucks check you into the boards it hurts. Keep in touch and thanks for the advice about controlling the pain meds when the time comes. Peace
Kilo
But really thanks for being upfront...you're right sooner or later we are going to need some narcotics when life throws you a fastball and you forget to duck.
Hey you Dancing Canuck - Since I'm in such a "poopy" mood, I have a question for you...What the hell is wrong with our northern neighbors. I just spent 20 years with the Dept. of Defense...you know how it goes...travel to new strange countries, meet new strange people, then give them a high speed dose of .223 or 7.62 caliber humanitarian aid. Since my last 20 years has been in healthcare, I found myself patching up a sucking chest wound one moment, and defending myself with an M-16 the next. I worked quite a few missions with Canadian troops, not a bad lot, just wished they tagged along on this trip to Baghdad. OH well...just to lighten the subject, I did spend 2 years in the Yukon working with Canadian Special Forces, and you Canucks must come out of the womb wearing skates. I thought I played a pretty descent game of hockey, till I met those chaps.
So now you know how my shoulder is a piece a ****. When those Canucks check you into the boards it hurts. Keep in touch and thanks for the advice about controlling the pain meds when the time comes. Peace
Kilo
KILOWATT my friend,
I'm so sorry to hear about your shoulder. Can we hope that the 3rd time will be a charm? What a pain in the well...shoulder. And at 45 days clean no less. I tell you, it's the devil in disguise as a bad MRI! Your doc is conspiring with evil forces that force'us to get high, man.
'Scuse me for a moment:
THOMAS! You are projecting onto Kilo your salivating desire for pharmaceuticals & for this transgression you shall receive a suitable spanking. Are we still on for next weekend ?
Back to the task at hand.
Yikes, Kilo, you are right there in the eye of the storm, the very quintessence of a true dilemma. What will he take? How many? It's the marrow of a fine piece of fiction were it not so unfortunate.
Admittedly, Thomas has his moments of clarity & I don't think you should suffer BUT...
Since you've already been down this road before, presumably from the 2 previous surgeries, take a good look at that big boulder you'll soon be pushing up a mountain as hig as we all strive to be. After you've had a good look, arrange with your doc & pharmacy to pick up your meds on a daily basis. If your doc prescribes 6 max a day, make it 5 & NO MORE. My doc puts plenty of his patients on daily p/ups. Ironically, I'm probably his patient most in need of such restrictions & while he's suggested it a few times, the poor man utterly caves before a flirt in a skirt. Yes, I make me sick too.
Another option is to have your wife dole them out to you. I assume she heard you mutter, "In drugness and in health?" ;-) However, this can be problematic. Reports indicate some designated spouses have been found hung by the toenails & suffocated by empty prescription bottles. A lot of addicts say when the cat's away...and hunt o'er hill & dale & under it & around it until they bulldoze the damn house down. Not to mention having to ask - beg - for your meds. It would also put pressure on her as she won't want to see you in pain but she won't want to give you too many...only you two know how that would play out.
Kilo, I know you can do this without winding up back at square one. I say go for the meds but maybe put some controls in place so you don't have to again endure that which you've already conquered.
Best wishes,
Dancing in the Dark
Where shall I send my invoice?
I'm so sorry to hear about your shoulder. Can we hope that the 3rd time will be a charm? What a pain in the well...shoulder. And at 45 days clean no less. I tell you, it's the devil in disguise as a bad MRI! Your doc is conspiring with evil forces that force'us to get high, man.
'Scuse me for a moment:
THOMAS! You are projecting onto Kilo your salivating desire for pharmaceuticals & for this transgression you shall receive a suitable spanking. Are we still on for next weekend ?
Back to the task at hand.
Yikes, Kilo, you are right there in the eye of the storm, the very quintessence of a true dilemma. What will he take? How many? It's the marrow of a fine piece of fiction were it not so unfortunate.
Admittedly, Thomas has his moments of clarity & I don't think you should suffer BUT...
Since you've already been down this road before, presumably from the 2 previous surgeries, take a good look at that big boulder you'll soon be pushing up a mountain as hig as we all strive to be. After you've had a good look, arrange with your doc & pharmacy to pick up your meds on a daily basis. If your doc prescribes 6 max a day, make it 5 & NO MORE. My doc puts plenty of his patients on daily p/ups. Ironically, I'm probably his patient most in need of such restrictions & while he's suggested it a few times, the poor man utterly caves before a flirt in a skirt. Yes, I make me sick too.
Another option is to have your wife dole them out to you. I assume she heard you mutter, "In drugness and in health?" ;-) However, this can be problematic. Reports indicate some designated spouses have been found hung by the toenails & suffocated by empty prescription bottles. A lot of addicts say when the cat's away...and hunt o'er hill & dale & under it & around it until they bulldoze the damn house down. Not to mention having to ask - beg - for your meds. It would also put pressure on her as she won't want to see you in pain but she won't want to give you too many...only you two know how that would play out.
Kilo, I know you can do this without winding up back at square one. I say go for the meds but maybe put some controls in place so you don't have to again endure that which you've already conquered.
Best wishes,
Dancing in the Dark
Where shall I send my invoice?
My advice, my O so metrically named friend, is to shutup, take the goddamn drugs and heal. The more post-op pain you suffer, the poorer you'll heal. It's as simple as that. Heal and then detox off the meds. You've done it before. You know how. It's a learned skill, ya know. It's like making it to Carnegie Hall, yes?
Most or all of us will have to use pain meds again. Some of us hope it's sooner than later LOL, but the majority will take it as it comes. For you, it's come. So take the gnarly Schedule II mega-narcs with the death sentence in some third world countries and rejoice!
Thomas
Most or all of us will have to use pain meds again. Some of us hope it's sooner than later LOL, but the majority will take it as it comes. For you, it's come. So take the gnarly Schedule II mega-narcs with the death sentence in some third world countries and rejoice!
Thomas
Tho I am barely clean (11 sober hrs w/ a Sierra Nevada to help), I am opting for an elective operation this summer. I have decided that even if I have to CTWD again, imagine being PAIN FREE... My doc tells me the chances are 78%. Being a card player, I take those odds in a NY minute.. so if yr odds are good for a cure, I say.. Third time's a charm.. irregardlesss:)) of what I may think a minute from now.
Rode WC~
Rode WC~
Your a riot!I love reading your post!And all those $50.00 words!!Yes they went up!!Thanks for the laughs in these moments we all get into!!And keep up the great posts.. Jerri
See what happens whem I leave for a few days. My computer said "the hell with it" and blew up my power supply. Forty bucks later and I'm back to grammer class.
Rodewc - no offense taken. In fact it took me about 20 minutes to read through your post, I had to pick myself off the floor a few times, my sides hurt so much do to laughing.
Well, on a different note...just got my MRI back from my shoulder (you know the one they have already "fixed" twice before). First words out of the ortho's piehole was "That thing looks like ****, you need surgery". Of course when I asked if this was possible without pain meds, he laughed for 2 minutes straight. So decisions, decisions...Live with the pain, which really sucks and just getting worse or take my chances after 45+ days of being clean. The ortho doc did mention a pain pump which drips marcane into the wound for the first 4 days and should really put a damper on the pain. But, he said after the pain pump runs dry you are going to need some pain medications.
Any advice would be appreciated. Well take care my fellow long distance friends, and irregardless, oops, **** I did it again
Regardless I would love to hear back from you.
Peace
Kilo
Rodewc - no offense taken. In fact it took me about 20 minutes to read through your post, I had to pick myself off the floor a few times, my sides hurt so much do to laughing.
Well, on a different note...just got my MRI back from my shoulder (you know the one they have already "fixed" twice before). First words out of the ortho's piehole was "That thing looks like ****, you need surgery". Of course when I asked if this was possible without pain meds, he laughed for 2 minutes straight. So decisions, decisions...Live with the pain, which really sucks and just getting worse or take my chances after 45+ days of being clean. The ortho doc did mention a pain pump which drips marcane into the wound for the first 4 days and should really put a damper on the pain. But, he said after the pain pump runs dry you are going to need some pain medications.
Any advice would be appreciated. Well take care my fellow long distance friends, and irregardless, oops, **** I did it again
Regardless I would love to hear back from you.
Peace
Kilo
I, for one, don't hate AA. I owe AA a big one. Before I went to AA and NA meetings, I felt totally alone in my addiction, an object of shame. The only thing that gave me relief from this feeling was using. Just realizing that we're by no means alone and that it's not shameful to be who we are is, IMHO, the single most important step any of us ever takes toward recovery.
Thomas
Thomas
Irregardless is not a word? Everyone hates AA and irregardless is not a word ... damn, I'm getting slaughtered around here ..
Dan, Dan, Dan. It's all of the emotions!
"Ya see, Doc, things just go better with Dope .. it's about the New Frontier, Better Living through Chemistry, a Brave New World, Doors of Perception, Tim Leary, Woodstock and girls with unshaven armits, no underwear ever and flowers in their hair. Ya get me, Doc? Can I go now? Doc ...?"
LOL
Thomas
"Ya see, Doc, things just go better with Dope .. it's about the New Frontier, Better Living through Chemistry, a Brave New World, Doors of Perception, Tim Leary, Woodstock and girls with unshaven armits, no underwear ever and flowers in their hair. Ya get me, Doc? Can I go now? Doc ...?"
LOL
Thomas
A LOT of good reading here folks. I've only one quick thing to add. (maybe two) I believe we do have power, we DO feel more intensely and percieve more than those who are not like us. Which brings me to my point. While NEVER at a loss for an answer, I was stopped dead in my tracks when a therapist asked, "What emotion are you trying to medicate ?"
I told him I had to think about it.
Regards to ALL,
Dan
I told him I had to think about it.
Regards to ALL,
Dan
The "irregardless" scenario is simple: The suffix "less" means without, so when we write regardless, it means without regard.
The prefix "ir" means "not", so if you were to write irregard, it is not even a word.
But--to write IRREGARDLESS means you are using double negatives, before AND after the word, which, of course is redundant. Hence, regardless is the way to go. Just my 2 cents.. ;-) peazy
The prefix "ir" means "not", so if you were to write irregard, it is not even a word.
But--to write IRREGARDLESS means you are using double negatives, before AND after the word, which, of course is redundant. Hence, regardless is the way to go. Just my 2 cents.. ;-) peazy
Yup, Kilo, 'irregardless' aint no word. I hope I have read you right, and u wasn't dun offended by writing such to you, nor are u offended by these erors in this here post. In fact, you are an astute reader to realize that that tip was indeed dirested your way.
I was almost.. well, shall we say, I was on the cusp of being classified as an 'elderly' individual before I discovered such (irregardless) was not a word...?!.. Even then, I was so aDAMNant in my insistence:))) that IRREGARDLESS was a word!! Further, when I looked up 'irregardless' in a dickSHUNanary, I didn't bother to focus on its definition.
That aside, Kilo, yr. writing, like Thomas's, Dancing's, Sisyphus's and others'.. is soooooooooo outstanding (I kid you not) that I took a stab w/ my irregardless comment. I had hoped u mite wanna know such.
The reason/msgs underlying your posts, Kilo, ooze incredible wisdom and common sense. Tho I am not even in the same ballbark w/ such good advice/writing, I have recently (yesterday!) found one vvvv simple (hopeful) cure to assist me in the road to recovery; and that is a Get a Pet.
Our nuclear famBly has owned indoor cats for years (we still do), 5 cats at this time- all inside felines, all 20+ pounds.
Yesterday, tho my many "real" kids, all (thankfully) grown kids, chided me into paying a mere $20. for a seemingly (dog) Lab mix here in the beautiful sunny sLowCountry, all while slobbing ribs at a fest yesterday.
That puppy, now mine, along w/ his puppy needs and puppy smell and puppy grunts and puppy smiles has taken my mind away from those thoughts of remaining sober. She has easily Kept me sober, another day.
This new puppy has helped me channel my boundless energy, formerly used to obsess about pills, to one of true spirituality.. the joy of limitless, unconditional love- all while reading the Good Book to an innocent, loving puppy.
I am so enthralled with my new found responsibility. I wonder why I didn't take a helpless creature of God, and shower her w/ good loving and energy years ago when The Evil Drug Battle began.
A pet is a small price to pay for the joy that abounds. This feat of Pure Jpy and Love is being accomplished INside my home of kids, spouse, and 5 HUGE cats. Property in a resort precludes a large yard, a fences, and any othet anenity.
I am not damning AA/NA; but, I am unequivically saying that a large # of people allow for no other form of recovery. Tunnel Vision.
Additionally, I would like to add, tho EVERY poster/writer on this forum has his/her own way of expressing himself. I would Never correct grammar, or like, unless asked. Kilo, apologies yet again, I I became the 'aunt' you mentioned.
I have enjoyed EVERY, sincere message written here by All: Thank you.
I again express sorrow if anything was a detriment/cut to you, Kilo; and, my sincerest apologies if it was. I have rambled a lot-too much as one can see- but I had never imagined how a puppy could assist in what has seemed to be a difficult battle.
No edit/proofread here, but, anyone, pls. feel free to edit pr comment. I would love to be a better writer, and express my thoughts coherently.. instead of doing so like the AD/HD person I have emerged.
Best to all of you on this beautiful Sabbath Day. ~~Rode WC~
I was almost.. well, shall we say, I was on the cusp of being classified as an 'elderly' individual before I discovered such (irregardless) was not a word...?!.. Even then, I was so aDAMNant in my insistence:))) that IRREGARDLESS was a word!! Further, when I looked up 'irregardless' in a dickSHUNanary, I didn't bother to focus on its definition.
That aside, Kilo, yr. writing, like Thomas's, Dancing's, Sisyphus's and others'.. is soooooooooo outstanding (I kid you not) that I took a stab w/ my irregardless comment. I had hoped u mite wanna know such.
The reason/msgs underlying your posts, Kilo, ooze incredible wisdom and common sense. Tho I am not even in the same ballbark w/ such good advice/writing, I have recently (yesterday!) found one vvvv simple (hopeful) cure to assist me in the road to recovery; and that is a Get a Pet.
Our nuclear famBly has owned indoor cats for years (we still do), 5 cats at this time- all inside felines, all 20+ pounds.
Yesterday, tho my many "real" kids, all (thankfully) grown kids, chided me into paying a mere $20. for a seemingly (dog) Lab mix here in the beautiful sunny sLowCountry, all while slobbing ribs at a fest yesterday.
That puppy, now mine, along w/ his puppy needs and puppy smell and puppy grunts and puppy smiles has taken my mind away from those thoughts of remaining sober. She has easily Kept me sober, another day.
This new puppy has helped me channel my boundless energy, formerly used to obsess about pills, to one of true spirituality.. the joy of limitless, unconditional love- all while reading the Good Book to an innocent, loving puppy.
I am so enthralled with my new found responsibility. I wonder why I didn't take a helpless creature of God, and shower her w/ good loving and energy years ago when The Evil Drug Battle began.
A pet is a small price to pay for the joy that abounds. This feat of Pure Jpy and Love is being accomplished INside my home of kids, spouse, and 5 HUGE cats. Property in a resort precludes a large yard, a fences, and any othet anenity.
I am not damning AA/NA; but, I am unequivically saying that a large # of people allow for no other form of recovery. Tunnel Vision.
Additionally, I would like to add, tho EVERY poster/writer on this forum has his/her own way of expressing himself. I would Never correct grammar, or like, unless asked. Kilo, apologies yet again, I I became the 'aunt' you mentioned.
I have enjoyed EVERY, sincere message written here by All: Thank you.
I again express sorrow if anything was a detriment/cut to you, Kilo; and, my sincerest apologies if it was. I have rambled a lot-too much as one can see- but I had never imagined how a puppy could assist in what has seemed to be a difficult battle.
No edit/proofread here, but, anyone, pls. feel free to edit pr comment. I would love to be a better writer, and express my thoughts coherently.. instead of doing so like the AD/HD person I have emerged.
Best to all of you on this beautiful Sabbath Day. ~~Rode WC~
Twelve step meetings begin with the serenity prayer and end with the Lord's prayer ... the spiritual component is what truly helps me. Otherwise I would not have a "contented sobriety" ...
I believe we are powerless over drugs, but not powerless in general. It is thinking that we are in control of our drug use that is the problem. When I try to use ... I lose my power and become a slave. Your family, your friends, your doctors and your pastor are not fellow drug addicts. You can't make the same connection and get the same support from someone that has not been there. It's kind of the same thing as coming here .... our people are here. Anyway that's how I see it ...
As far as "science" is concerned, it is their belief that the addiction progresses much the same as the aging process and no matter how long you are clean ... if you pick up again, it will be as though you have never stopped. That's usually what happens. As I said, the program is only one way to skin a cat and it has helped me. The question in my mind is "What is addiction? Is it a mental illness, an obsession, or a disease ??? If you find out, please let me know. Sorry if I came on too strong about all this .... I haven't gone to any meetings in a while, but I read the books and live by the slogans ... take care, Goldie
I believe we are powerless over drugs, but not powerless in general. It is thinking that we are in control of our drug use that is the problem. When I try to use ... I lose my power and become a slave. Your family, your friends, your doctors and your pastor are not fellow drug addicts. You can't make the same connection and get the same support from someone that has not been there. It's kind of the same thing as coming here .... our people are here. Anyway that's how I see it ...
As far as "science" is concerned, it is their belief that the addiction progresses much the same as the aging process and no matter how long you are clean ... if you pick up again, it will be as though you have never stopped. That's usually what happens. As I said, the program is only one way to skin a cat and it has helped me. The question in my mind is "What is addiction? Is it a mental illness, an obsession, or a disease ??? If you find out, please let me know. Sorry if I came on too strong about all this .... I haven't gone to any meetings in a while, but I read the books and live by the slogans ... take care, Goldie
Hey dude - Are you serious "irregardless" is not standard English. So much for all that $$$ I spent on a "good " ed you kation.
I had a great aunt who was an English Doctor. I would write her birthday wishes when I was a child. She would send back my letter with corrections in "red ink".
Needless to say I never wrote her back.
Hope all is well with you. Don't know about your neck of the woods but the Gulf Coast is having great weather. Enjoy your weekend.
Peace
Kilo
I had a great aunt who was an English Doctor. I would write her birthday wishes when I was a child. She would send back my letter with corrections in "red ink".
Needless to say I never wrote her back.
Hope all is well with you. Don't know about your neck of the woods but the Gulf Coast is having great weather. Enjoy your weekend.
Peace
Kilo
Jim - I'm sorry but I disagree...You have much to say and you have traveled down a road and along the way much wisdom has been gained. Your insight, your perspective, your trials and tribulations are not only valuable to us, but lay a foundation for others to help themselves...irregardless of where I stand or others stand in their recovery.
I have enjoyed what you have shared here, I really don't want to see that loss.
You haven't blown your life. That's bullshit. What about tomorrow...that's not blown. Everyday is a fresh start. We all hope that tomorrow makes us stronger or a little better in our struggles.
Jim, today I'm drug free...tomorrow I may not be. I don't have any illusions. But, this I do know I can't change yesterday, I can only live in today and tomorrow is unpredictable.
Last time I looked, life didn't come with an owner's manual. So we learn as we go.
Hang tough and please don't be a stranger. Peace to you Jim
Kilo
I have enjoyed what you have shared here, I really don't want to see that loss.
You haven't blown your life. That's bullshit. What about tomorrow...that's not blown. Everyday is a fresh start. We all hope that tomorrow makes us stronger or a little better in our struggles.
Jim, today I'm drug free...tomorrow I may not be. I don't have any illusions. But, this I do know I can't change yesterday, I can only live in today and tomorrow is unpredictable.
Last time I looked, life didn't come with an owner's manual. So we learn as we go.
Hang tough and please don't be a stranger. Peace to you Jim
Kilo
Glad I could help in any way...One thing I've learned over the past year is that there is NO ONE way of recovery; certainly no ONLY way, and it's up to each individual to discover his own truths and go from there. It's complicated at first, but I think eventually the light bulb clicks "on". LOL Good luck and talk to you Monday.....Love, peaz
Good Crescent City Morning to everyone--It is a beautiful day here in the Big Easy!--7 days without the help of chemical inducments and I'm actually feeling pretty good! Peazy I hope your staying the course--And to anyone out there wondering how there could possibly be a life without those #%#%# pills--I say YES!--I am slowly-(patience I have found is never an addicts virtue) learning to live pill free due mostly to all of the wonderful people on this forum who take the time to share their successes and failures. Peace and Prayers and Much Thanks--I am coming out the "other side". Mystere AKA New Olreans Lady
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