this is not a question, but more as a experience and cry for help

[Southieboy8473]

a suboxone Dr in Brockton mass of baystate I have seen him two times the first time he got me mixed up with somebody else's folder the receptionist came in told him and gave him the right folder by that time I guess he already wrote stuff down in the computer and never erased what he wrote. I was asked to go to go to the hospital to get my medical records also go to Davis clinic where I used to go.. to get my urine records wich I did. I went in today which is 7 10 14 I sat in the office for about 3 hours waiting to see the doctor I did my urine and right before I say about 15 minutes before I saw the doctor he came out in the hall talking to the receptionist  talking about my case my urine cup and personal stuff right in the hallway where there was other patients after about 10 minute I was called in he asked how I was doing I told him good he said my urine is good. I asked him how do I taper off suboxone. He didn't no what I ment so I explained to him that I wanted off he told me I have to wait 6 months to a year
To start the process of getting off. I explained I been on for more then a year still he said no have to wait or go on methadone told him no I don't want to substitute I just want off. I gave him my papers from the hospital also my last 6 months of urines he yelled at me saying I'm not supposed to have those how did I get them then he started saying I edited these and they Are false records and accusing me of bringing in fake documents he got mad and said I can no longer see you.we got into loud argument wich the derector came in once she was in he just kept him mouth closed i told her what is happening then he told his side the derector then took copys of all my paper work and told him that it's not elegal for me to get my hospital records or any records then then he said he no longer wants me as a client we both agreed. I was sent in another room where I talked to the operational manager wich she was nice and explained about the dea is on there *** and said she's very sorry about what happened and recommended me to someone else who would help me with getting off the subs she wrote a name and phone number wich I called and it was a false number and name wich was a false name and number she gave me 2 week script 14 a week. I walk out of the office and ofcourse there is the so called doctor taking about what just happened with a couple of receptionist right in the little hallway were everybody sits I walk out and of course everyone including the workers are staring at me making very uncomfortable.

I also had a incident about a little over 2 years ago when I was going there wich the receptionist was in the bathroom watching me do my urine test where he put his arm on my shoulder and watched me pee I made a complaint and the following week I get a call saying I can no longer be there as a patient and the operation manager at the time said to me I can go with him as a patient to Davis clinic .wich I did and I did great there and it   was one of the best places I ever been. I went there and saw doctor  sadly she resign on 5.9.14 so I had a month to find another doctor and that's how I got involved with baystate again.


This doctor has ruined my life and got other cases mixed up with mine and has a personal vendetta with me he got my child taking away from dcf he told them false statements wich I have been working with dcf for the past year and my case was going to close next month. Please please do a investigation before others get hurt or the doctor. Not by me but others in the clinic please don't hear me out as just another addict. This place and the doctors need a investigation they are corrupt and have no idea what they are doing.

[weaver71]

In California, it is the hardest opioid to get. Sub is accounted for very closely and there are many levels of accountability. My sub doctor was shut down after I detoxed. It may be different in different states, I've talked with our local sub doctor, there is one in this county. Pain is the most difficult drug to get here, insurance double checks every month to see of they will cover it. They started cracking down on benzos and methadone lately too, but sub is still more difficult to get. Our doc has his 100 patients and that is it for the county. Strips end up in the street, because too high a dose is prescribed. Haven't seen but a few people get clean with street subs, they have become a pass afire. I didn't realize it was so cheap and easy to prescribe in other places, thanks for the info Jmcc. I will have to make it clear I am speaking about Northern California, But here, not any doctor can prescribe it, and off label is all these mountain folk can afford. It's a shame they make Oxy easier to get than subs, what a world.

[Jmcc4424]

Any dr. Can write suboxone. It just has to be off label.

[Jmcc4424]

I was going into business with my dr. To start a suboxone clinic in Ct. He was a g.p. And to get the x after his dea number it cost it was something $150. Not 15 k. With that said any dr. With a dea number can write suboxone off label for pain mostly. It is a schedule 3 and before only 100 scripts a month from one address now it 100 from one dr.  Talk about company's that make different products this one makes every thing from suboxone to Frenchs Mustard and Lysol.

[motye51]

Hey man....how are you feeling???  I have to agree with the posts above, you are using drugs to fight drug withdrawal.  Do you have to be at a campsite?  Are you trying to save face and w/d?  And when I say "save face" I mean, did you have these plans to go camping and couldn't get out of them, so went anyway?  Not a good idea...you should be at home, with the tools to do this correctly.  I'm sure my w/d wouldn't have sucked *** if I had klonopin, neurontin, and alcohol either?  Listen to that sentence....look at what your doing, really look?  Again, I ask the question do you want to be done with the subs???  Because if not, you really need to go find another sub dr.  I know were supposed to help people get off of drugs, but in this situation, you don't seem ready (to me, just my opinion, and I might be wrong!) and it's very unsafe for you to be self-medicating!  I've lost many friends to the mixture of pills and alcohol!  Please be safe!

[weaver71]

I have to agree with nursegirl. When I fist wanted to get clean, I tried similar methods. 4 bars Xanax and soma with a little booze to amplify the effect. I ended up having convulsions at one point and luckily my wife have me cpr. I never like benzos or soma, so I figured I wasn't abusing them. Alcohol is often the last ingredient for death, but I didn't drink a lot or often. Anyway, even with all the drugs you are taking, we don't get out if the opiate trap due to drug help. Subs and methadone are the standard drugs actually prescribed for detox, and they have a worse detox than any other opiates or opioids. I hope you start investigating drug free options to be drug free, I see and read a lot of myself in your posts, that was head ago, but drugs to stop dugs really made things worse. Keep posting, I am actually concerned for your life. Before my near death experiences, I felt invincible, I felt I was doing nothing wrong, because my intentions were good, to be clean. Try some of the advice of people with years clean, they have proven their advice works.

[nursegirl6572]

Listen, I hate to be a debbie downer, but you ARE abusing those drugs.  For one, they aren't even prescribed to you, that's abuse in and of itself.  Even if you put THAT fact aside, taking THREE Klonopins at a time is abusing them.  No doctor would prescribe them like that.  Lastly, to add alcohol to the mix is even MORE concerning.  You're on a slippery slope.

I understand that w/d is tough, but the way you're going about your detox just isn't good.  I really hope you reconsider what you're doing and try to go about this in a way that is consistent with getting clean, not just self medicating away w/ds with more pills and alcohol.

Very best to you.

[Southieboy8473]

Day 3 7/13/14, so just got up from the camp site and didn't feel that bad as I did, I believe that the klonopins and the naurotins are helping me and no I'm not just jumping from one thing to another not abusing them but they are helping with my withdrawals. Before yesterday when I got those I was in cold sweats shakes vomiting all the wonderful things that withdrawal does. I no I can beat this and I am going to. I do have to admit I had a couple well 1 n a half beers wich I haven't drank for years and it pretty much knocked me out. I wroke up couple times with the s**** and vomited twice but I did get a good night sleep. (I instead of doing the taper I just did cold turkey) well it's only 7 am so still early so don't no what the rest of the day well be like I will keep posted later today to let you no how things are going. And thank you everyone.

[Claire_MHModerator]

Hi, folks,
Please remember that our forums can be read by anyone with an Internet connection, so it's not a good idea to share any personal information (phone numbers, email, etc.) here.  The best way to communicate privately with other members is to use our private messaging system.  

Claire  

[Southieboy8473]

I will try and leave atleast try and post twice daily. Thank you everyone for the suport and if anyone would like to get a hold of me to see how I am doing or someone going thru the same as me. Send me your email, number or anything to Me and I will call or write back to that person. If you are to far and not in Massachusetts you would have to call me and I no how this confidentiality works and promise I will not ask you name and you can call in private. We are in this together and will not let this Demon take us down but only up I an not a councillor or any thing like that just a person who cares and willing to fight this for myself and others ***@**** again I'm just a addict going sane as you addicts trying to get help when there isn't any I will pray for everyone and I hope you all do the same

[nursegirl6572]

Oh, and if you're self harming and have suicidal thoughts, you need to be seeking professional help.  Please don't underestimate that!

[nursegirl6572]

Oh geez, be careful!  Taking 3 each of Klonopin and Neurontin isn't a good idea.  For one, subs are NEVER to be mixed with benzos (Klonopin) because of the risk of respiratory depression and respiratory arrest.  Not only that, but Klonopin itself is addictive.  You do NOT want to trade one addiction for another.  Benzo detox makes opiate detox look like a walk in the park for most people.  Even Neurontin will cause a discontinuation syndrome if taken long enough.  Plus, those meds will cause you to be on an even more significant emotional roller coaster.

If you want medication help with your detox, then do it the RIGHT way, with the help of a doctor....not by self medicating, which is only continuing the cycle of abuse and addiction.

I  wish you well!!

[Southieboy8473]

It's been two days since I last took a sub (7/10/14 5am) I am ok not really withdrawing yet. It's about 81 degrees and I'm in a swear shirt and sweat pants actually at a camp site. The anxiety  and deppresion is horrible worst then the withdraw its self. So far I did have two very bad break downs where I tried to kill myself and I have never attempted anything like that in my life never even thought of it before. I ran into a man who I just told him what's been going on with in this month he ended up giving me 1m klonopins and narotin 800 milligrams. And ofcourse I have taken 3 of each and wow what a diffrence my deppresion gone anxiety gone withdrawals mild head ache sweats and that tight feeling in my arm where it makes me punch things or not cut but puncture my skin with tip of knife till blood is drawn. I have never done anything like this before. I did see my son thru dcf yesterday the 7/11/14 and it was hard. I didn't think about subs or any of my old deamons opiates herion. Only made me stronger and more desirable to get off this (hell) of a drug. I was giving about 20 of the kpins and same with the johnies 800. Well for now everything is good so far but it's still only day two. I will keep posted.  

[Southieboy8473]

It's been two days since I last took a sub (7/10/14 5am) I am ok not really withdrawing yet. It's about 81 degrees and I'm in a swear shirt and sweat pants actually at a camp site. The anxiety  and deppresion is horrible worst then the withdraw its self. So far I did have two very bad break downs where I tried to kill myself and I have never attempted anything like that in my life never even thought of it before. I ran into a man who I just told him what's been going on with in this month he ended up giving me klonopins and narotin 800 milligrams

[clean_in_ks]

I agree.....work on your HEALING.....and your RECOVERY.....get some relapse prevention tools in place....spend some time around other recovering addicts, spend some time working on you.  You can do all these things as you are tapering down.  New ways of thinking and acting have to be learned....not just taking away the subs/drugs.  You can do this....hope you'll keep posting and let us know how you are making out~

[weaver71]

The sub education is an 8 hr class and in our area $10,000. I know that the info given to the doctors in these classes is lacking at best, false information is closer. My doctor was taught in his class that a person has to use subs for half as long as they used in active addiction. He was very upset when I asked for proof or a resource for that info. He heard it in class, so he has no proof, just hearsay by his instructor. There is the pressure on doctors to get that time and money investment back and most of them do no further research on subs after the class. I blame the education system and big pharma research, more than the doctors themselves. Doctors could recoup their investment in a more humane way, if they were given accurate info and were educated on the lack of research on subs. Anyway, I was really mad about my experience and did months of research that all added up to sub being a money maker that uses the public for experimental practices. That is not to say there are no good sub doctors, I just have not found one around here yet. We wouldn't be allowed to prescribe subs for longer than 6 months, if the regulations of the FDA were being followed. The FDA is run by the former head of Monsanto, and we have lost lawsuits to prove his corrupt actions, it's hard to believe he has had that big a change of heart after being appointed a government leader. Lots of drugs and GMO's skip major parts of the FDA process.

Okay, enough of that. Southieboy, you really do seem to be filled with anxiety and some confusion. We know that the system of medicine is corrupt, but that doesn't help you right now. I hope you are looking into some of the resources listed above. The emphasis needs to be on your healing. I never could find an honest doctor for subs, and I tried a few of them. Are you taking any supplements to help? Do you have a specific plan in place and aftercare? I would follow the pharmacists advice, they seem to be more knowledgeable and helpful, in my experience. I believe in having a solid plan, write it down, share it with another person, and no matter what, stick to it. The meetings and counseling are the most important part of the plan, IMO. Hang in there, keep searching and you will be free. Try to relax and save the battles with corruption for later. Being angry and frustrated with the system seems to be distracting you and causing horrible anxiety. You can do this, try your hardest to focus on solutions rather than problems we cannot change, just keep moving forward.

[vicki595]

You need to do this properly and with some support. Are you still searching for a doctor?  Here's a suggestion:

Call The Cooley Dickinson Hospital; 413-582-2000. Ask for the 5th floor Nurses Station and ask them to recommend a doctor to help you taper from Sub.      All the best-

[motye51]

I read your posts but they are anxiety filled for sure. Totally understandable! I was on suboxone for almost 7 yrs, Dr never brought up tapering. 2 8mg strips per day and now out? Am I understanding this right? Were u able to taper at all? When I get to work, and am not typing on this stupid phone, will message more b/c what we need to know is are you ready to be done or are u going to find another Dr? Are there other drs in your area? This ***** ***... I really don't understand why these drs do this? I thought they had to take a special class to even be able to write sub scripts????

[Southieboy8473]

Yes, I am talking about baystate medical. Today is my first day not taking any suboxone I have been on the phone with doctors,clinics,pharmacy detoxs and other people that I have found that has been in the same situation. So far the only help that I got was from the pharmacy and others they were the only ones that told me how to taper off all doctors clinics and even detoxs had no clue how to taper nor a way to get off there idea wich is the same way they detox you off subs if clonadine and Motrin, the only difference at detox who specialise in methadone was 10mil of methadone a day for 5 days then off the merhodone but you have to be 24 hours off suboxone. I don't want to substitute for anything else but also want to be comfortable with my dtox so today I decided not to take a 2 milligram sub and I'm going to taper myself off by skipping a day then when very uncomfortable take 1. Half millagrams then nothing the Next day 1half the Next day and so on only dropping a half mil every week.and only taking a sub every 48hours. I will keep posted about my taper.   I have not found any doctors who specialise in tapering down or that no anything but how to write a script and just make money I called around 23 detoxs 11 doctors 3 pharmacy and 2 people who are clean and taper down there self and the most helpful was the people who tampered down them self and only 2 people at the pharmacy kinda helped the rest wanted nothing to do with me considering I'm a suboxone junky or chaser what ever they call it now

[weaver71]

My sub doctor sounds similar to bayside. His clinic is closed and he lost everything. He got away with it a long time though. Min not sure if he ended up in jail, but his house, wife, money, license to practice, he lost everything in his world anyway. My doctor before him claimed I needed to be on them for 2 years for them to work. When I asked for the clinical study that backs that theory, I was treated much like you. This doc actually told me to buy more in the street and come back when I am on a lower dose. Trust me, I totally feel you on corruption and injustice in modern western medicine. On the otherhand, It pushed me to take my health into my own hands.

I studied various doctors studies and observations, received testimonies of people who were successful, looked and asked around about doctors and therapists, I realized I had to call the shots. I take advice very seriously, but I am the one who has to live in this body with this mind. A title or position doesn't make me a trust a persons opinion either. I have learned as much from addicts who dropped out of school as I have PhD scholarly journals and books. I try to base my decision on all the evidence I can gather. You will receives many testimonies here on this forum and sources for more info too.

Anyway, do you have access to more subs, I'm not clear if you have a doctor right now. What dose are you at now? You've been on them a year, right? I got a little confused, sorry, that happens to me sometimes. Do you have aftercare or been doing it during the last year? Why are you on subs? Fill us in a little and we could help more. You can do this, try not to focus on those corrupt people and focus on solving the problem. As much as I agree and get angry at corruption, it has never helped me be better. When you have the drugs behind you, you can use your clarity to make a difference. You may be the one who saves a lot of people from having to go through what you are. For now, let's get you sober, that will give your voice against them more weight and authority. Hand in there, hang around here, there is always a way to make things better, always.

[IBKleen]

Hello..that is some story! I will ask the same question--are you tapering now? Do you have a new doctor? If not you can go to:

http://www.suboxone.com/

There you will find doctors in your area. Let us know how you ared oing and how we can help you,.

[vicki595]

Hi there- Sorry for your troubles. Are you talking about Baystate Medical Center?  It was a little hard for me to follow but I hear what you're saying and I agree with you. Going on Sub or Methadone is a huge step and should be investigated closely; there are some scammers out there, for sure. You weren't treated very well either...

Where are you now with your taper from Sub? And how are you feeling? If you're wanting a new Sub clinician, you might ask your local pharmacist who he/she thinks would be good. Pharmacists are wonderful resource people.
Good luck!