So basically the prescribed by this forum "thomas recipie and clonidine" help with w/d but does not stop the **** of it all entirely? Correct, I heard suboxone is another addiciton and some real bad things along with that while reading the forum, I don't have a doc, and I have not committed to going to NA yet, I know I sound like a lost cause, was just hoping for help from this forum on what the best route would be. Sounds like all information about the "help" from all above just makes you lethargic and tired all the time, that's the pull of the bad drug I want to feel energized and alive, just hard to go the other way when this way was working for me, I go through this cycle all the time, when I run out, as always faster then I can get again so I have a down time, just not a lot of options on taking time off work and I hate the lazyness of it all, guess I have to push myself to do more but it's so dam* hard to push myself without outside motivation, just excuses on why I want/need more. Tired of tired and problems with everyday life, whant to feel good all the time, and so far it's only with my addiciton Hydro 10/650 anywere from 4 to 6 a day, not happy when it's gone. but what can I do, I post on and off as you will notice one a month, but the problems is I really dont want to stop just run out, don't get me wrong I do go through the "I can't survive this all my life, have to stop some time, and I always feel this will be the time once a month, but it doesn't last. I want to be normal I want to be a part of this click and group of survisors, just seem a little clicky because most of the forums I read you all know each other so well and I'm a newby, so I get my quick answers but not alot of feelings of belonging, want to belong so I cam feel apart of it all, just rambling on and on, just how I feel now "once a month" and I really do want it to be long term, just so fu***** hard to stop, I love the way I feel when I'm using and hate the way I feel when I'm not. I go through the paniky stage, think of everything I can do to get more even breaking my own arm just for relief, sounds stuiped but thoughts just run through my head because I'm so damn afraid to feel like ****, what up with that when will it stop, how can I get my life back, when deep down I don't know if I can do it, even thought of switching to meth (won't) my man is in law enforcement so that's out of the question, and he has no idea about my addiction/problems. Help anyone tell me the best way to get through this and still feel able to function without feeling like crapping and sleeping all day, just not an option, I'm a mother for crying out loud no time for rest "no rest for the wicked" that's my motto. anyway just someone post and try not to judge just give me hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I will get through it. Wish there was an easier way, don't want the pain and anxiety of it all, reality check there will be pain and anxiety I do know that, just wish there wasn't. Any way by for now, and if this last this time (my recovery) then I need all of you to give me input and help........ sorry for the drama that's how I am, even not doped up. Thanks
AZA