Hi. I am new to this so please bear with me. I am a 24 year old woman and I m addicted to 30mg oxycodone. I sniff about 5 to 6 a day, and have been doing it for about 4 months. My fiance is also a oxy abuser, but his drug of choice is heroin. That is how was introducd to the drug. And from there my troubles began. I recently had back surgery in Nov. With the knowlegde of oxy and how they make me feel I startd getting scripts from my doctor but he cut me off after 2 months. Since then I began spending A LOT of $ (that I barely had) to get high. My fiance sells them and I became I great detective, always finding his stash and tending to my needs. The longest I would go is a day or two and be right back at it. Well needless to say I am sick of this drug. I dnt even get "high" unless I do like 3 or 4. I tried to talk to my fiance about this but he is so into his drug use he doesn't care about mine. Also he has no idea of how many I actually do. He thinks I do about 2 or 3 a week (that's wat he gives me). Well my whole point of writing this is to find others with the same problem and how they are dealing with it. I promisd myself I would stop last night and did a suboxone this afternoon. Then about 2 hours later found his stash and just did 2 of them. I don't want to succomb to this drug anymore. Please help...
Hi and Welcome! One of the most important things we learn is to change all the people, places, and things that will trigger us to use. You live with an addict who also has an unlimited amount of stash. That's going to be hard for you to stay away from...
What do you know about Suboxone? When you take it, forget about whatever you take after. It's a waste!
Well my fiance first told me about subs a few months ago when he was trying to stop. he told me all I needed was a piece a day to help with the withdrawal symptoms. I've did it in the past when I first tryed to stoP but knowing how easy the oxy was to get I just got hooked again. I really want to stop but I don't know how to go about it. I don't think I need rehab I'm trying to do it on my own but the temptation is so hard. I guess the reason I'm here is to find others like me and hopefully find the.motivation I need. But I know it starts with me. I look at him like its his fault and he needs to stop for me 2 stop. I know it sounds crazy but I feel like I have to be high to be. With him. I don't know what to do anymore...
I'm not sure what to tell you either. As I said before, it's really hard to stop in that kind of environment. It's hard to stop no matter what!! So the best thing to do is to be in a "safe" place. Everything about your situation screams "wrong"! I'm sorry and I don't want to tell you to leave; that needs to be your decision but I think you know you may have to.
It DOES start with you and we can give you a lot of support and ideas and ways to make the WD's easier or tolerable BUT if you're there it will be a constant struggle for you.
Let's hear what the others think, as well. You've got a great shot at this because you haven't been doing it for very long. The snorting is tough and I'd start by switching over to swallowing so you can first break THAT habit.
I can appreciate what you want to do, believe me! It's a great idea to take care of this right now or in ten years you'll be right back here.
Hello and Welcome, you sound like you want to get your life back so why don't you just take the leap and do it. I was where you are now 560 days ago but it was much harder since I had been using large amounts of oxycontins. I struggled with should I quit or just keep living or correction existing in this drug induced haze. I finally made the decision to get my life back. Let me tell you it's not an easy decision to make but once you do it will feel like the weight laying on our shoulders is gone. You know you want to get clean otherwise you would have not come here for advice (am I right). Ask yourself right now I not abusing that many pills but in a year or maybe two will I still only be taking 5-6 pills a day. I can tell you the answer but I think you know what is so I won't. Quit now before you get into it any deeper. As far as you need your bf to quit for you to well my dear I can tell you that probably won't happen, so take care of yourself and distance yourself from that life. You are still very young and have a whole life ahead of you, don't throw it away as you will never get these years back. So take the plunge I know you can do it as you do. Also stop taking those subs you think w/d from oxy is bad with subs it's threefold. I hope you make the decision to quit and we are all here for you no matter what you do. Keep posting and I wish you great luck and I will say a prayer and ask God to guide through this rough time in your life. God Bless---Rick
Your envirnorment is killing you. It sounds harsh but you need to give your hubby and ulimatum. Either you or the drugs. Once your situtation is changed so will your mind set. I think you already knew that though!
Thank u so much every1 for your encouraging words. It feels good to know I'm not the only one out there with this problem. Today is my firsT day not using even though it is in my reach. I know I have to fight the urge. It is very hard but I have 5yr old twins and they do not need an addict as a mother. As for my fiance he is unwilling to listen to my crys although I am always there when he needs me. We have been together for 4 yrs and engaged for 2 of them. I love him but idk where we stand. The drug using has brought a lot of tension and problems to the relationship. But I know I need to get right and worry about myself instead of looking at him as the problem. I am fed up and sick of his ways idk how much longer I can deal with him if he is not willing to change. It ***** that I pretty much have no1 around me I can talk to about what I'm going through that's why I appreciate you guys and this sight. Well the last time I did oxy was last night and I see my life as starting over today. I never wanna go back.
I relate a lot to your story and reading what you are saying scares me and saddens me. I am 22 and was addicted to oxycontin/oxycodone and then heroin. I have been in your place, wanting to stop so badly, saying I was going to stop, and then using and around and around it went in a vicious and dark cycle. I came on here and was also told I needed to change my environment, people, places and things. But I only half listened to people, even though I wanted to stop so badly, I thought I could do it on my own and that I knew best. It took a long time of falling on my face and constantly relapsing and seeing things get worse and worse to relaize i was wrong and I didnt know best. Thats why it scares me to read where youre at because I wish so badly you can do this, and I hope you do, but ive also been where youve been and I know it can be a painful and dark process to get yourself into a low enough place where youre finally willing to do whatever it takes to get sober and I just hope it doesnt have to get to bad for you.
I started with oxycontin, although I was doing about 300-400mg snorting and smoking, when I came on here, I still thought I was for sure done, and would constantly say this is it, im done, i never want to go back, these things have ruined my life, i hate them, im done, etc. and a week later id be back at it. And still it got worse, just when I thought i was at a bottom and I Would stop, I started doing heroin and that sent me into an even deeper and darker addiction where the WD's were hell, and the cravings and desire to get high were so strong that I had completely lost hope in myself.
Finally things got bad enough and I was desperate enough to listen to what people were telling me, and get help in real life. I went to AA meetings, did counseling, moved, changed my environment and all the poeple I had to make boundaries with because I knew I couldnt go around those who were using or reminded me of using. I also had to deal with a lot of things emotionally that were keeping me in my addiction.
So anyways sorry that was so long, I started rambling a bit there....how are you feeling today? Is there any aftercare or outside support you can get? maybe check out a meeting? I think its going to be incredibly difficult to get clean in a home with someone whos using and whos selling drugs and where drugs are easily acessible. I think youll have to really think about your life and your babies lives and decide what youre willing to do to get clean. I hope the best for you and i hope things wont have to get worse. There is a beautiful and freeing life that is waiting for you if you wish to have it.
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