what keeps you going?

[Rekovrd]

I have to constantly had to remind myself of what I'm gaining for all this suffering and it helped a lot to read post of people celebrating their achievements.

I welcome anyone to add something that they gained by choosing to stop taking any drug.

My biggest is how I feel about myself. While taking methadone I felt helpless and powerless to stop,unable to function properly as a husband/dad,and I didn't like the guy I seen in the mirror.Hated him really. Very low sense of worth.
Since quitting I feel more in control of my life,I am 100% more "present" for my family and the feeling of accomplishment as I work through the days is great for my self-esteem.
Not where I wanna be yet but atleast I'm moving twards and not away from it.

Please post your experience and what makes such a hard journey worth it for you or what keeps you going.
  

[YesLife4Me]

Ditto to all the above, but also for me, it is knowing that I AM stronger than I thought I was.  

[waterLilly7]

Hey Friend,
I am on day 235.It took a full month for me to feel at least ok. I had a few good days before that, but in 30 days things were a lot better. Then it took another 6 months for the brain to really kick in making its own chemicals again. Anxiety was the biggest problem for me, but I kept pushing through as it kept getting better. You may have a cluster of bad days, but then some good ones kick in and save you.
I am doing great now. I remember even after one month I was so happy to taste things again, and smell again, and other things, and laugh again, and even sneeze again. THe big O wasn't too shabby either, lol.

Hang in there, there are bright happy days ahead.
hugs,
Lily

[Rekovrd]

Thx for posting. Sitting on day 25 here and it helps to see how people are feeling and what they have gained many more days into recovery. Its inspiration for us all!

[Enuffisenough]

Love this.

[VICourageous]

I feel so intouch with my mind and soul. No longer a slave to the drug. Do not have to wonder were my next pill will come from if I run short. What a new awsome wonderful life it is now out in my new world. I was on methedone for 12yrs. I also go to NA/AA and have a whole new world to look forward to. It was a hard ride but it keeps getting better min by min day by day. Its awsome. KEEP ON TRUCKIN. Like they say it does get better. I can say for all the years we use its a shorter time to come back to the real you.
You could call a dr. and find out how you can taper it will make it easier in the long run. You have to honest with them they will help. I went down to 30mg and went cold trukey but I also went cold on 2 other drugs I used with the methedone and I am closer to 60yrs
GOD BLESS US ALL
vvicidaho

[hope4good]

There are many reasons I keep sober.  My family is a main one.  I was a horrible wife and mother because I was putting the pills over my family.  My faith in God has made me closer than it has ever been. Also I feel good about myself.  I hated myself when  I was on pills, and now I love myself and cherish every day sober.  

[weaver71]

I can feel again!!! I get sad, angry, happy, loving, disappointed, joyous, and I am no longer a zombie methadone slave. Even my "bad" feelings are another opportunity to grow. I am learning to instictively handle situations that used to baffle me. I don't see myself as a pathetic drone, or a bad person at all. I'm not embarrassed about any part of my life, even my addiction. I am a grateful recovering addict, as my addiction forced me to look deep into who I am and want to be. My intentions line up with my actions. I don't have any secrets and have completely stopped lying about where I'm going or why I feel the way I do. I honestly can't think of a single thing that hasn't changed for the better. I'm trying, but nothing. It is so worth it. I had to take other people's word on things getting better for a long while, but now I'm saying the same things they told me. People with 20+ years say it, "It keeps getting better." What an awesome outlook and way of life. It is so worth it, simple, not easy.

[Andie015]

This is a great post for everyone who is struggling. I am close to 100 days....I have gained so much from quitting pills. I have my self respect back and I am regaining the trust of my loved ones. I have my love for my family back...I have always loved my kids and taken care of them but honestly pills were my first love for years. I am able to appreciate all of the little things in life like playing with my kids, taking a walk, things that should be natural to enjoy. Probably the biggest thing I have gained is actually a loss...I lost the mental torture of thinking about pills constantly and obsessing about how I would get more. The gains are limitless...there is NO good reason to continue with this addiction...every day you don't use you are gaining your life back!

[blotout]

im 100% sure its withdrawals, the only time i feel back pain is when detoxing, ive had x-rays even went to the chiropractor for a month a few yrs ago, i mean its funny how i can have such intense pain almost like my back was going out and i was going to have to hunch over the rest of the day take one lil sip of methadone and its gone completely, *****!!

[Rekovrd]

What caused your back pain? Have you explored other options for the pain. I'm working to build more muscle in my mid section that helps me but that doesn't work with everyone. If one "tiny sip" actually helped the pain maybe its stress related pain. Sometimes it seemed like my pain would leave almost immediatly after drinking very little. My theory is that the stress release of finding and taking the methadone eased the tension in my back.I always thought that my back has to be damaged some how but seeing things a lil different now.  

[blotout]

im trying myself to get off methadone, i really dont have the money for it anymore, but like you i hate being tied down to a drug, i went 9 days with the help of pain pills(probably didnt help in the long run) then those ran out so i took what i had left from my take homes like 18mg, well it helped for about 24 hours then my back started hurting so *****ing bad i started the hunt, the other reason i started mathadone because i was tired of the hunt for pain meds, anyway nothing all day suffered until 5PM i gave in and called someone that gets like 100mg methadone takehomes and took only the tinest sip, then off course in 1 hour i was fine, i cant physically put myself through this back pain, others have trouble sleeping, my back will hurt so bad i will toss and turn all night and never get a wink of sleep, now i dont know what to do, i refuse to go back to the clinic, and i probably have like 90mgs left in this bottle, i was thinking about taking a lil dropper and only taking one drop a day, i dunno, im so helpless when it comes to this, this monkey has its claws dug deep in my back