Just need some support

[ilvmakindolls]

Hello everyone!  Yesterday was a big day for me...I scrubbed the house from top to bottom and even broke out the rug scrubber and scrubbed rugs.  It has been long overdue, but with everything going on and my taper, I have been taking it easy the past few weeks.  So, after I got done, I hurt so bad....I mean, I hurt everywhere....so I went ahead and took one of my pills a half hour early....nothing happened.....I still had the pain....no relief.  So about two hours later, I took another 1/3 of one...but still nothing.  I went to bed early which was a mistake becuase I woke up very early (2:30 a.m.).  I still hurt everywhere but can't get back to sleep.  I am having a really hard time knowing I have to wait until almost 7:00 a.m. for my next dose....the pills are calling my name.  So far, I have stayed out of them but it is times like this I really need the extra support.  I am awake and my daughter is asleep so I have no one to talk to to get my mind off it.  I tried playing some games on the computer, reading, watching TV....but  nothing is easing the tempataion this morning.  I don't understand this...It has been 3 weeks now and I would have thought that the temptations would be getting easier not harder???  Is this normal?  I do have a little added stress right now by having to get my daughter ready for "back to school"...but we were able to get all her school clothes and now all I have to worry about is school supplies which shouldn't cost that much.  I even did all the extra food shopping for lunches...so that stress is subsiding....
I guess I just need someone to talk to.  Pretty much everyone I do know are all still sleeping...I am going to try to lay back down for a while and hopefully, I can go back to sleep for a few hours...that would really help.
Thanks for listening everyone.  God Bless

[vicki595]

Maybe it's time to end the taper,flush the pills and just stop ?  They will call your name. Your brain is clever and will give you pain so you will feed it opiates. It's a horrible cycle.

Think about it,okay?

[shiningstar500]

I have done the taper this past week and this is my second day without pills. It was rough with the withdrawls but not as bad as going cold turkey!!! I thought my hip would start acting up but it hasn't. What has got me through this was thinking of what it was like before pills and howcarefree I was. The days when I wasn't obsessed with how many pills I had. Your daughter needs you to be there everyday and not only when you have pills, that is what I remind myself alot. You could try those creams for pain, that seems to help me. Excedrin also may help! Hot baths! Good luck!!

[lmccoy]

For me no matter how good I feel, now that I don't have pain pills to fall back on when my pain flairs, I have to actually regulate my activity to my real pain. That means not doing at all some of the things I had been doing when I had the meds. With other activities it means having to admitt to people on ocasion that I just have to stop or can't participate. I'm not able to hide that I have limitations as well. You will have to decide which is more important to you, being clean and limiting activities, or being an addict and pretending you can do more than you should. I'm still learning to be OK with a level of disabilitie I was never willing to accept before. It's different, but no doubt more honest.

[jstntime]

Righto Tram!!!

It's like that NA saying....."let go or get dragged".  If there is nothing you can do about it, then stressing over it certainly isn't going to help, it's just going to drag you!!!

My sleep has returned to "normal" but it didn't happen overnight (no pun intended).

Take it when you can get it and don't get dragged!!!!!

bob

[LeaAnn807]

I'm with Bob here.  Tapering is rough for this reason!  I could never do it, and this is why.  

Ok, the sleep thing......I have been clean for 150 something? days, and last night I was awake for 2 hours, watching TV.  At some point a few months ago, I just accepted that it was going to happen sometimes and that it wouldn't kill me.  I try not to worry about it, and I assume that it happens to everyone.  My mom was telling me last night that the night before she had not gone to sleep until 3:45 a.m.  And she is not an addict!!!  It just happens.  She is a great sleeper, but occasionally it even happens to her.  

The more you stress over it, the worse it will be!  Frustrated never sleeps, right Bob??? : )  

Good luck!  Take it one day and one night at a time!!!!

[jstntime]

Hey there,

I think you are finding out how obsessive tapering can be.  It's a cruel game and something most addicts can't do on their own.

Not only is it normal to still feel the temptation after 3 weeks, if you are an addict it is normal to still feel the temptation long after you are through physical withdrawal.  It is this temptation that is the main reason many suggest getting professional help or NA to stay clean.

It sounds like you want this badly and that is good because you will need it.  Keep posting here and all these good folks will help you.  We all want success for you and hope you find a way to get it. You need to pull out all the stops to ensure your success.  Please don't be afraid to ask for help.  Every extra step you take is added insurance that you will be successful.

Goodluck and Godspeed,

bob

[laurel453]

hey, girl.. how are you doing now ?

pain gonna be your main trigger... you are still tappering  and you have still not developed other ways to handle your pain so when in pain and it seems you overworked with your hands a bit to say the least, you gonna ask for the pills...

how is the pain ? are you feeling any better?  do you have any substitute for the opiates when in pain ?

[2lives]

dont worry at this moment. i woke up at 12 and have been awake ever since. the pain is herendous... for me atleast. and i feel really alone sometimes. keep your head up. god has a plan for everyone and there has to be a reason we are all going thru this!! goodnight. and i hope u can go to sleep

[2lives]

dont worry at this moment. i woke up at 12 and have been awake ever since. the pain is herendous... for me atleast. and i feel really alone sometimes. keep your head up. god has a plan for everyone and there has to be a reason we are all going thru this!! goodnight. and i hope u can go to sleep