Can You Help Me?

[GinghamButterfly]

I've been taking about 10 Vicodin a day, off-and-on for two years.  When I have stopped, I've thought it was for good.  I just came off of it and feel mentally and physically depressed.  This time I had no choice but to stop, because two pharmacies networked and found that I had five different physicians prescribing.  

I've never been able to talk with anyone about my addiction. I have no outlet for asking questions, finding commonalities with others who are struggling, etc.  By looking at me, you'd never know I've got this problem.  I'm put together on the outside, but not the inside!    

[jennawynn]

Hey Cristy-

I was just reading your post.  I was going to try to quit today but I just don't have the will power.  I have not taken one yet, but I feel like I NEED ONE NOW!  I don't feel bad or anything, just like I have high anxiety (almost like when I was a kid and waiting for santa or something).  I have not told a single soul about this- but im about to go crazy.....

[Cristy1111]

How did you get caught?  Do you live in a small town or something?  I'm so sorry you are suffering, but hopefully it will be over SOON.  I'm on Day 1, so see?  You're way ahead of me!  And I don't have anymore pills nor any access to any, which is probably for the best as my self-control isn't that great.  I KNOW I'd find an "excuse" to take "just one" if I had any lying around, so for me, I have to go cold turkey.  The whole "disease" is such a bi**h, isn't it?  I'm like you, normal looking on the outside, not the inside.  I'm a business owner w/ kids, house, husband, pets, and so on, & like others have said, it's so easy to hide.  It's because the Rx comes from doctors so we can justify it.  It's not like we're snorting a line a coke on our kitchen tables.  All I know is that we got ourselves into this situation & we're the only ones who can get ourselves out.  We have to be strong & brave; just like we'd be if there was a major life crisis.  I know the WD's will completely suck, but hey, I'll just say I have this nasty flu going around and take vitamins & Benadryl for a week or so.  I know I will be struggling horribly in a few days, but it won't last forever so hang in there.  I'm right here with ya!

[Jules1866]

Yes, your aches and pains are only temporary and you will feel more pain then you have ever felt....this is normal and it will not last.....you are doing a great job and once you see that you are no longer a slave to pill counting, sneaking around, lying to people and letting these drugs control your life you will be so happy...right now you need to take things one minute/second at a time......take hot baths...try to take a walk outside.....drink lots of water.....keep posting on this site and really read everything you can on this site.  Everytime i read here and post here i become stronger and stronger. I can withstand more and more of my back pain on my own.

hang in there, you are doing great!! jules

[GinghamButterfly]

Today is day three, and I'm wishing I had more Vicodin.  I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to.  I know these feelings with subside more with each day...

Can any of you reassure me that my joint aches and general body pain are because of this?  It's freaking me out!

Again, thank you all.  Reading your posts is a big help.

[Some_life1976]

I have been takeing 5 norco 5 times aday off and on for 3 years and no one new but when my husband found out 5 months ago i was so happy but i only stoped for 3 days but this time i joined this site and the people here are wonderful really if you want to get that demon gone  read everthing you can on this site  i want my life back and i am going to get it good luck

[Jimmy1975]

Most of us were like you . No one ever knew I took pills because I never took large amounts . But abuse is abuse if you are taking three a day like I was or ten like you . I don't know were you live but if the authorities now know you doctor shop you could have more trouble for yourself . I know in California they will come after you . So now would be a good time for you to stay here with us and let us help you to recover ! You can do this and get your life back . Good luck . Jimmy

[Jules1866]

Gingham,

Do you want to stop? It sounds like maybe if you would have not gotten caught you would still be using? How many days have you been out now? Jules

[GinghamButterfly]

Thank you both for your kind & encouraging words.  Like you, I have children and a husband (who doesn't know about my addiction).  

[TrayCee]

I think we are all(almost) highly fuctioning addicts with jobs and childen.  The old sterotypes no longer hold true.

[mrsmisfit]

Most of us are put together on the outside. I have a husband and 2 kids and none of them know I took Hydrocodone daily for years. It's an easy addiction to hide and it can control ANYONE! You say you have no choice to stop because your out, but you have to want to stop to get clean. How many days have you gone without? Have you gone through w/d's before? Your on here and that's an awesome sign it's your first step asking for help. Read posts and post! Everyone on here is amazing and they will help you get through the nasty physical part and you should seek help for the mental part after. I'm on day 10 being clean and on day 3 I though there was no way I could live without the poison. I feel so much better without them. You don't have to worry if your going to run out or the anxiety of when you get to take the next. It's such a free feeling when your clean. We forget that when were constantly numb. We are all here for you and good luck on being free and enjoying life again.