Day 11

[NowOrNever43]

Day 11, and still feeling disconnected. Almost feels like I lost something. I know I should be getting up and doing something but just don't feel like it. I was hoping by now I would be feeling a little better but today is rather hard as well. I need some motivation, ugh. Sorry for whining, I am proud I have made it this far just getting a little discouraged.

[NowOrNever43]

lol!! I almost said the same thing as dominohsara!

[Pat1956100]

Busted again, I can't get away with anything lmao

[dominosarah]

We will be watching you too!!

[Pat1956100]

We will be watching closely to see if you have aftercare :p

[NowOrNever43]

6 weeks off of methadone is awesome, I know from what I have read that it can be extremely difficult to come off of it, congrats! As far as aftercare, I will be going to some meetings soon with a friend I just recently found out has an addiction problem. I will start going as soon as I am feeling a little better.

[Sonrissa]

Oh I know, I know exactly how tough things are! How hard it is to fight when you just want to lay down! You will get through this! I wish I had better words! You can do it! Let yourself feel whatever you feel! Anger, sadness, frustration, whatever it is! Believe that it's gonna be OK, cause it is!

[snowflake24]

Personally i am really proud of you. I recently quit methadone 6 weeks ago and im almost back to normal......its a long process and you have to just take it one day at a time....have you thought about aftercare at all? Please keep posting as often as needed.

[NowOrNever43]

You are both my angels :) when I am feeling down n out I know I can count on you ladies to make me feel better! Pat- you can scream at me! I will do my best to scream back but may need to catch my breath in between as everything leaves me winded! lol! Chocolate is awesome, especially hot chocolate! Mmmm

Comingclean- thank you for your kind words, i may have to take you up on the offer to vent! :) congrats on day 19!

[Pat1956100]

Thanks my angel.
I am getting good at hijacking posts today.
I have to go do something because my body is screaming right now.
I don't like this.

[Sonrissa]

Ahhhh yes, chocolate! It really is a miracle food! It is a food, right? I ate so much of chocolate in those early days! Still do! No weight gain so far! So it gives me the excuse to still eat it!  I think a lot of it does have to do with cravings! Much easier and cheaper to pop a piece of chocolate in my mouth!

Carry on ladies, you are both doing great and showing some huge strength right now!

[Pat1956100]

Can we scream atcha lol??

[Comingclean2012]

I am on 19 and I still have days like you are describing. It got better for me after the 14 day mark. Also no matter how hard it is you HAVE to get out of bed and get back into as normal a routine as you can. Start small and each day add something else. I find the more I do the less I focus on what doesn't feel right and see what is so much better in my life now! I am starting to feel like a brand new person but really I'm just finally seeing everything as it really is and it is wonderful!!! Keep on the path and you'll be there soon. Good luck and feel free to contact me if you just want to vent to someone who knows exactly what you are going through!

[Pat1956100]

So tired and weak and this morning really bitchy.
I have so much to do and I just didn't want to even start on it.
I did go for a walk but it was really cold.
The fresh air feels so good though. I'm not used to it lol.
I think the eating is that we keep feeling this need to put something into our body.  I think it's cravings.
It's never enough though.
Keeping busy is good.  Screaming might be good too.
This too shall pass????
Hopefully soon.

[NowOrNever43]

I hear you, I have been eating all day it seems like.. I don't want to eat all day but can't help it.. It's almost like I am bored or something.. I understand time heals all which I hate hearing too, but sometimes it feels like time just sands still! Ugh! Mmmm chocolate! lol! Now you got me thinking I should go get some chocolate ice cream! Haha. How are u feeling? Xoxo

[Pat1956100]

I know what you mean.  I am really hating the lack of energy but knew it was coming.  We have really messed up our brains and bodies and the only way to heal is to not use and of course "time heals all".  Ugh, I always hated when someone said that to me when I was grieving.
Now we are grieving the loss of our pills but they were little demons for a long time for both of us.  
I hate that they still call to me and I have eaten so much chocolate today, I thought I was going to...............................
Anyway, Hang in there and I am so hoping you feel better soon.
xoxo

[NowOrNever43]

I am definitely setting new records everyday! :) Happy to be at day 11, I  just need to stop expecting miracles! Looking forward to feeling great again though!! :)

[NowOrNever43]

Thank you for your words of encouragement, it certainly does feel like life is standing still. The days are going by faster which is nice, I took a ride a little while ago it helped a little. I just can't wait for this blah feeling to go away! I will have to make a list of thins that need to get done and start tackling it, maybe it will keep me focused.

[Pat1956100]

Hey girl
I am right behind you.  I forced myself to go for a walk today and it's damn cold here.  It felt good.  I am going to keep forcing myself to do things because I would much rather just stay in bed.
Every muscle is sore but I am happy that I am able to accomplish what I do.

Remember you weren't happy when you were taking the pills and every day that passes you are closer to feeling great again.

You're still setting records girl and you are doing amazing.

[Bkitty]

I know sometimes it seems like life stands still. You are doing great. I didn't have that great of motivation either at 11 days. It will come in time but sometimes you really do need to push yourself and get up. Start with small goals each day and increase as tolerated each day. I know one of my earlier goals was to get up and take a shower and get dressed for the day. You woulda though I had to run a marathon.Something that small too a lot of energy!! Keep up the great work! ((hugs))~Bkitty

[NowOrNever43]

Thank you to the three of you for your support, it keeps me going. I really need to get out and do something, it is just so hard. Maybe I will atleast get out and go for a ride and listen to some music that helped me in the beginning of all of this.  I have been eating, and drinking lots of Gatorade. I just feel so lost just need to keep on pushing through. Better days are coming, this can't all be for nothing.

[dominosarah]

Congrats on your clean time!!  I just told another member to get up and move!  Force yourself, you will feel better.  That fog will lift so hang in there.

[Norco1947]

Hi Nowornever ,  Great day#11 .
What your feeling is the stress & pain your mind & body went thru during detox . You been thru a big fight , your body will recover soon .
Eat , drink , you need food to heal , move around as much as you can , take short walks , your energy & sleep will also return a bit every few days .
Stay positive , You have this beat ........ Ron

[Sonrissa]

Hey girl! I know exactly how you feel! I remember feeling on around days 10-11 "why the heck aren't I feeling like doing handsprings yet? You body/mind are still in the healing process! You are also still grieving the loss of your drug! Yes, things are better, but not great! You still have to fight through this! The best thing to do is stay distracted. Rest when you need to and when you can! Feed yourself. Get outside in the fresh air for a bit!

11 days is great! Give yourself more time for healing, and don't expect too much yet! You will get there! Take care!