I'm back here after a couple of years struggling I'm now on night 3 cold turkey

[jenny06xx]

Hi everyone I'm Jen 29 from the uk
I hope some of you are still here and remember me a bit like avisg ? I think that was her name lol
Well I'm on night 3 of withdrawal from all of my meds
Just a brief sum up of what I was on
Dihydrocodeine continus120mg x 8 a day
Dihydrocodeine 30 mg x 8 day
Prednisolone 40mg day
Baclofen 30 mg day
Prozac 20mg day
Salosysprin 2g day
Buscopan 30mg day

I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease a couple of years ago but it took sooooo long to be diagnosed , and I had debilitating diarrhoea constantly which is why I was put on codeine 30mg and my addiction to pills started , you may be able to read my old posts on here I'm not too sure but I've been a mess !!
My gp has always been my prescriber and I've been on codeine tramadol dihydrocodeine morphine then back to dihydrocodeine etc etc u know the drill !!!
I've had enough of being a slave to the pills pain or no pain and decided to stop everything this week !
I'm doing so well and tonight is night 3 : ) I'm soooo proud of myself for doing this and know I'm going to get through it
Positive thoughts with you all
Xx

[slneedshelp]

I know how you feel I have a plan to if I decide to end it. It's not worth it's imagine all the people who love you and how would they feel. I know your depressed but your at day three almost over that hump . Just stick it's out you can do it. You have your whole life ahead of you. Why would you want to end it now . Please call some one or pm me I would be happy to talk with you.

[Danny111]

Please call whatever the UK equivalent of 911 is(999?) if you're thinking suicidal thoughts.  You're in the middle of detox off of a ton of medications and this causes serious depression and feelings of despair, hopelessness etc.
Things can and will get much much better.  You just have to keep pushing a little longer.

[jenny06xx]

Thank you all :-)
So day 4 today I went to my doctors to get my prescriptions as usual , no 1 knows what I've been doing or stopping my meds !
I won't tell my gp what I'm doing either because I know 1 day I may need these meds for a certain purpose , and I do not abuse them at all anymore I was just stuck on my high doses afraid to stop taking them because of pain diarrhea and obviously withdrawal !
The hardest part for me is getting past wanting to commit suicide , I know how selfish this is and awful but I have things all planned out , including leaving my gas cooker on and pretty much sticking my head in the oven to do it !
I've now got a massive collection of my meds which would end things pretty swiftly , and all because I don't want to live like this anymore I'm no use to anybody I'm too afraid to leave my own house because of pain and for fear of ******** myself , how degrading is that !
There's a few more things I need to get sorted before I end everything , an sorry if I upset any of you that is not my intention I'm just speaking how I feel :(

[strong_survivor]

Congrats on day three!! You are so strong for coming back and facing this addiction it just means your spirit is stronger than this addiction and it is ready to fight I am on day 14 and feeling so much better than day one obviously!! Your picture is so gorgeous i hope you use that beautiful face for somthing better than those ****** *** pills lord knows your worth it!!  Stay strong and fight this you can do it hun!!!

[Cricketk92]

Hi! Welcome back and COngrats on Day 3!  That is awesome and since youve been through it before you know that it will be over in a week or so!  Its so good that you came back to post for support!!!  Addiction is a cunning disease and will bring you to your knees!  Do you have anything planned for support after the detox?  Meetings, therapist, church or something?  It really will help you stay clean if you have that support!!!  Keep on posting and let us know how you are doing!!!

[refills]

Hey jenny, I guess it's welcome back. Sounds like you've had it pretty rough since an early age. I worry about a lack for detail in your plan. Do you have anybody that can help? Is a doctor involved at all with the stoppage? You just have so much to wrangle with meds, that it might be a bit much for you to handle. I see this may not be your first rodeo as well. It's good you've decided it's time to walk through life awake. I hope your ready. Wish you well and stick around while you let us know how well you're doing.....ike

[sweepy76]

Hi there jenny im ftm the uk too n i can totally
Relate to u.im a recovering herion addict n since the age of 15 i ave battled with the addiction.trying over n over doin home detoxs n private detoxs.so i know the hell of it.i finally got on subutex n that med has saved my life literally.im pregnant at the mo n the docs wont taper me dwn any further till aftet baby born.hes due tomoz acutually.once hes here i plan on getting of the last bit.im only on 2.4mg tho.anyway i know how u feel just keep up the good work.u can do it.and the people on this forum are such a grt support.just keep postin to let us know how ur doin.im wishin u the best of luck!ill b thinkin of u.xc

[jenny06xx]

Thank you again
I've been completely dependant on my pain pills since I was put on them at age 18 for diarrhea after my gallbladder was removed due to stones and pancreatitis
I only started on 1 codeine 30mg pill a day and it worked amazing , then 1 day I had to take 2 to get to work and I felt that high that was about to spiral out of control !!
I wish I was never ever given these pills but at the time I didn't know they were addictive I just thought they stopped my stomach issues
My brother is a heroin addict and my mum is an alcoholic so I would have most definitely said no way if I was told what could happen (whether it really runs in the family genes or not )
My shoulder is really sore tonight from pulling it helping my mum shopping and for the first time in 11 years I am actually enjoying the pain , it's making me realise how much of my life I've just dived for my pills for any little niggle or just in case !!
My brother was on methadone but is now on suboxone and doing great on it but still dabbles with every other drug going for a high like crack speed benzos etc
I'm not going to carry on down that path !!
For the last year I've taken my pills as prescribed for my condition so I'd got past the taking for fun part just out of dependence on my high dose
It's nice to hear from people in a similar situation especially when I can't sleep due to the hebie jebies lol xx  

[Graeme1974]

Honestly after being on this merry -go-ride for so long I know what you mean....having your life controlled by a pill is a depressing way to live and as the years tick by it gets worse and worse.

I've just reached the point where I've had enough. Especially with worm and everything. I just wish methadone wasn't so hard to come off.

Your still young and you know how horrible being dependent is...you dont want that crap for another 20 years. I think your a very brave lady

Graeme xx

[jenny06xx]

ThankYou Hun
I know also my meds control my condition somewhat but enough is enough I don't want any more of this crap !!
Xx

[Graeme1974]

Hi,
I'm from the uk as well. Your doing great lasting 3 days. The withdrawals will probably be at their peak now and in a another 4 or 5 days will be over. The WDa with codeine are fairly short....about a week to 10 days.

You'll still have the pain and some PAWS but the worst will be over

Well done!!!