I used to take cocaine for the same reason that you take the xtc; made me feel good inside, felt indestructible, could take on any challenge that came my way and made me a real outgoing party animal. After a while that one little line turned into two little lines, then four and eventually all of the cocaine that I could get. I started hanging out with my dealer, whenever he got a new supply it was truly heaven, all of the free cocaine that I could do while I was there. I got to the point that if I took that first line it was like a switch going on in my head, I had to have all I could get and I had to have it NOW. I knew that I was addicted at that point.
Really the only advice that I can give you is to stop doing xtc now, while you still can. Withdrawal symptoms are not fun. I'm into my fifth day clean from a 12 year Lortab addiction. The Lortab finally got to the same place as the cocain, "one is too many and a hundred ain't enough. Most of us ask our 'Higher Power' to please let us live another day clean and sober. In recovery that's all we have is 'One Day At A Time'. I wish you all of the luck in the world and hope that you seriously think about everything that is shared on this website.
I know that this is going to sound very simplistic but...don't take it and don't hang around people who take it.
I don't believe that you're addicted yet, however, your body and mind keep thinking about *how great it was*...that's why you want to keep doing it.
Just remember that EVERY DRUG always feels great in the beginning...that's why we get hooked. But Please listen to what I say and STOP NOW before you do become hooked. You can spend a lifetime trying to get off of the drugs. Please read through the other posts on this website and you will see the hell you will face if you continue.
Good luck to you.