Opiates: the only pill to make me normal

[gr8tful1]

I started using Vicodin for pain. Then I discovered the euphoric effects of the drug. I am normally a un-motivated and depressed person. I get mad over the littlest things. I have been back and forth to different psychs and on a lot of different drugs for depression and anger. I stopped those drugs about 8 years or more ago because none worked.
Then I found Opiates. I am not addicted to them by any means it's just that when I take them on occasion I feel normal. I feel like I did when I was a kid and had no depression and no worried. When I take them my girl and I do not fight. I just feel like I think I should. I socialize more. I leave the house more. I just all around feel better.
I guess my question is are there any drugs a psychiatrist could prescribe me that would get me back to normal like that or are opiates my only choice?

[Michelle0922]

The doctor is right! Trust me. I feel the same as you. Opiates were the only thing to make me feel "normal." I abused them for 5 years, then was successful on methadone maintenance x5 yrs, but it takes away your life. Tied to clinic, its expensive, I got tired of people watching me pee for drug tests. I'm trying to get off methadone now and its hard and not fun, and plain horrible. Take it from one who knows, if you're depressed like that, EXERCISE for an hour every day of the week if your doc says you can! That's the only long term way to get good endorphins!!! Any other way has much more PAIN and MISERY and SHAME in it than anything else!!!!

[J T Junig, MD PhD]

No... and unfortunately opiates will not work forever either.  I have talks with recovering addicts every day who say the same things you are saying, but they all have learned that the feelings they were chasing are just not possible long term.  

Your response to other meds, and your positive response to opiates, make me suspect that your condition fits under the 'borderline' spectrum.  Try reading about borderline personality;  you might not have all of the characteristics, but you might find enough similarity to make the reading helpful.  People with addiction who have written to me have referred to the empty feeling inside as 'the hole';  an empty place that opiates fill but nothing else will fill.

There have been trials with opiates as antidepressants over the years, including current med trials with buprenorphine, either in pill form or as a long-term implant.  Opiate agonists tend to have an effect that is only temporarly;  it is too early to tell whether buprenorphine will be different.

[star_n_me]

I agree with the good Doc and Michelle. I am in recovery from an opiate addiction of over 35 years!! believe me, I know exactly about the void that we addicts need filled. I thought I would die as an active addict. I am one of the really lucky ones to have become a regular patient of Dr. Junig's, and I am doing his Suboxone program. I cannot say enough about this wonderful combination of medication and therapy. I am sure not all people think Suboxone the answer to recovery. I know there are many recovering addicts who just kicked cold turkey and never looked back. Years of countless treatments and relapses however, have indicated that I am NOT one of those individuals. For the first time in my life, I am drug free! I feel absolutely reborn, and I take nothing for granted anymore! Maybe someday I can quit taking Suboxone, but for the time being, if it is working so well for me, I am not going to try to fix something that isn't broken. Suboxone has been a lifesaver for me, but I also want to add that even if you get prescribed this medication, you have to have a great therapist, and a good attitude and a great willingness to work you butt off to stay clean. Not always easy, but trust me, very, very well worth all the work it involves!!!!  :)