I'm 21 years old, and I've been a binge drinker since I was 13 or 14. When I first started drinking, I would usually do it alone with booze I got from my sister. I would drink until I threw up, then go to bed. As highschool progressed, my friends and I would drink during the day to evade our strict parents. I always felt sort of admired when people would compliment my ability to hold my liquor (I was a very tiny girl). In college, I quit completely for about 3 months because I started chilling with people who didn't drink. Then I started again, and though I don't drink every day (more like 2-3 times a week), when I do, I completely black out. The next day, my friends have to inform me of what I did the night before. I always wake up in a panic thinking I said something rude to someone, or did something my husband wouldn't appreciate. I usually spend the next couple days telling myself that I'm not going to drink anymore. Almost all my friendships revolve around alcohol. When I feel uncomfortable in a social situation, I drink. I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I've tried hypnotism and some herbal stuff, but that didn't seem to help me get control over things. I'm not sure if I can live my life without alcohol. With my drinking patterns, do you think I could maybe just learn to moderate my drinking? I kind of think that the reason I drink the way I do is that I never learned to drink like a normal drinker because I started so young. What should I do??