Confusing story of needing to quit? Help!

Question

I know I probably drink too much anymore (sorta) and it's causing me a ton of health issues.  On my liver test it's just labeled as a fatty liver.  I used to be able to drink a couple 750 (can't read the label?)  of wild turkey 101 each night easily with beer.  Now I just drink 1/2 a bottle and I black out nightly.  I drink to cover pain issues, and to deal with my hubby's drinking.  I can't stand to be straight while he's drunk.  Grrrrrrr.    He don't want to quit.   I've told him I'm deeply in depression and need to quit and he don't care.  My issue.
When I do have a couple nights alone while he's on business trips I try not to drink and I feel like I have bugs on me.......I know that sounds weird.  I know I need help; but, don't know where to turn.  I'm sick of being sick and tired of being tired.  I'm at my whits end and personally just want to end it all; but, I can't leave those that I love.  
Any advise?

Nighthawk61 · Accepted Answer

Your black outs are occurring with less and less alcohol, soon you'll be blacking out after a couple of shots. That's the progression. Detox is dangerous, and you should be tapering off of alcohol gradually, unless you are in a proper Detox Center where you can be monitored.

You've used the words sort of and probably, the word is alcoholic or alcoholism. You are suffering from the disease of addiction and when you're on your own your going through withdrawal, and experiencing symptoms of withdrawal. DT's etc. Delirium Tremens. A popular term for acute organic psychosis seen 3–10 days after abrupt alcohol withdrawal

You're husband doesn't want to and will not quit for you, and it will be difficult for you to quit without him, but please realize one thing, once you put the work in you will be a very happy lady that you have quit drinking and will be wondering why it took you so long to do it. Husband or not, sobriety is a great feeling, a healthy feeling and one that you should not stop yourself from experiencing because your husband is set on being a drunk;

The reason that you don't like looking at him when you are sober and he is drunk is because he looks and acts like a fool while he's drinking. It's not pretty watching a person drink their life away, and it is not the picture that a healthy person wants to see in sobriety, they want to talk to other sober happy people. You can find friends (many) to support you in your recovery in AA and outside of AA. , but you can't turn a sow's ear into a silk purse.

There are woman on here that you can find, in the Living with an Addict community that can relate to what you'll be up against and will befriend you but it will not be easy.

IT IS WORTH GETTING CLEAN AND SOBER. LIFE IS WONDERFUL BY COMPARISON. You wouldn't want it any other way once you get here, and put in the work. I promise you that you will never find a sober person tell you that they would go back to drinking like you are drinking now. I assure you.

You cannot drink liquor like this being a diabetic. You will kill yourself.

You have come to the right place to start getting the right support in place to change your life for the better.

If you want to search the community on any given topic, ie. Alcoholism you go to the Community Search tab to the right of the Post a Question box at the beginning of any forum and search for more answers.

Do you want sobriety? not sort of, not maybe, Do you deserve to enjoy the rest of your life.

Respectfully, Liz

Me967 · Answer

Thank you all for your advise and God bless you for caring.  I've forced myself down to 750 mls or less of 101 wild turkey max and trying to somewhat quit before blacking out.  I have a test coming up on Monday in which I can't drink prier to due to Propofol anesthesia.  I'm a bit scared about.  
Sara and Rod44.....my local doctors don't believe in pain meds in which is what sent me down this spiral in the first place.  I used to get 60 flexeral once a year that did the trick on painful days; but, now I can't get anything.  Sigh.  Too many people I guess abuse drugs; that those that need them...can't get them.  Sigh
I guess I need to find a pain clinic, chiropractor, acupuncturist or something outside of town for pain. Sigh  My advice for my pain was only yoga and tai chi in which help some; but, I still live in pain.
I'm very worried about Mondays test.  Please......keep me in your prayers.  I'm so very scared.  (HUGS)
I feel like such a failure.  I just don't want to live in pain plus I don't like myself as a YES drunk.  Sigh.
I looked into different things online and thinking about starting SAM E?  If anyone has any advice on help with stopping I would be very grateful.
Thank you in advance for any help and God bless you all.

rod44 · Answer

I agree with sara, get to your family doctor. Alcohol will aggravate any Neurology problem you have, this must be your priority,

dominosarah · Answer

Please get ahold of your family doctor and be honest with him/her.  With your other medical issues you need to be safe.

Me967 · Answer

I have heart issues, thyroid, type ll diabetes, and some crazy neurological issues that I take meds for, along with other issues in which are still being addressed. Any advise would be great! Thank you in advance.

Confusing story of needing to quit? Help!

Binge drinking once in 1-2 months

Wife's drinking causing many issues

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Binge drinking once in 1-2 months

Wife's drinking causing many issues

Withdrawal after binging for one month?

Fear of Cirrhosis

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