How come alcoholics can't just stop for their family???

[Butterfly426]

Ok, I wrote in about my friend who I know now is an alcoholic, and thanks for all the feeback.  But heres my question...my friend who is currently in rehab again has lost custody of one of her children a couple of years ago because of her drinking( the father has custody) and since then I guess she stayed sober for a while and ended up getting married and having a child. He has been through her drinking on and off on and off so many times..she always is so upset that she's going to loose her family, house, and her 2nd child.  She says she can not ever go through that again.  Ok so if she loves her family and her children so much why does she continue to drink when she know what the consequences are going to be. Like now she has lost visitation rights to her 1st child and her husband is probably filing for a divorce while she's in rehab.  I just don't understand it.

[Bgb3]

I have seen first hand a family hurt by a person who is an alcoholic! You don't care about your family just yourself it's all about that next drink! Tell the family of the person you just hurt or killed while driving drunk your disease story. Cancer patients don't chose it you do!

[MGM155]

I agree that one who has never been adddicted can't even begin to understand.  My mom is a textbook case of one who believes she is above it all and is "too good" to drink.  I hate that look of superiority and disgust I see on her face.  

If love for our families was all it took to make us quit, we'd have done it a long time ago.

It just doesn't work that way..

[meyan]

Some addict become so enveloped by the disease they can't quit for family & friends, house, job and so on, they can't even quit even when it's directly affecting their health by killing them. That the nature of the beast.

[meyan]

Opps meant to say that to Mousiee

[meyan]

In this world the alcoholic needs an advocate as well. Some alcoholics/drug addicts are just as much a 'victim' of the disease as are those involved with them. What you had to say was so good to hear. Needs to be heard.

[ibizan]

i had to learn how to handle my emotions and life sober/clean..or let my disease kill me...if i used the rationale i am poweless over alcohol/drugs and thats why i keep using.....i'd be dead and i chose to grab my disease by the balls and be resposible for what i chose 2 do about it!its working....25 years sober/clean!

[Mousiee]

That is obviously a question from someone who has never been addicted to anything.  First of all, if we could stop, we would stop.  So many people think addicts are doing the drug/alcohol to get high.  The truth is, after awhile, we don't even feel the high; but we need the drug to function normally.  Without the drug our bodies go into withdrawl, which is an extremely painful, uncomfortable, unbearable feeling.  We get aches all over our bodies like we have the flu, we cannot stay still and feel like bug are crawling under our skin, we are nauseaus, sweating, anxious, fatigued and to me, it is every bad feeling you know all in one.  This is why addicts will do anything to get it, just to stop that withdrawl.  They do things they wouldn't normally do, act how they wouldn't normally act and say things they wouldn't normally say.  As much as they care about their loved ones, which only adds guilt to the mix, they have to concentrate on only themselves.  It is self perservation.  It is a matter of life and death to them.

I do not think anyone who has not been addicted could truly understand addiction, but addicts are sick people, just like people with Cancer or any other disease.  People think it is a choice, but it is not.  Many times doctors perscribe pain meds for chronic pain and the patient becomes dependent on the drug.  Any drug you feed your body for a long period of time will cause a withdrawl reaction when you stop abruptly.  My dad is taking Effexor for anxiety.  It is an antidepressant, not a narcotic.  Yet, if he misses a dose or runs out of his perscription, he experiences withdrawl.  This is because his body is so used to it and does not function normally without it.

I think  addicts are hated and looked down upon because people who don't understand addiction think they are choosing drugs/alcohol over the people they love and create worry and despair to people they love.  When the truth is, to the addict, that is the worst part of being addicted and helpless to a substance, the guilt of hurting those around them.  Most feel so guilty, but cannot help it.  The drug has ahold of them.  Addicts are not all bad people.  Actually, I see them as overly sensitive people who have trouble dealing with the realities of life, so they turn to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain.  They feel too deeply and cannot handle despair like others can.  JMO.  Just know that when the addict in your life chooses alcohol over you or his/her family, it doesn't mean they do not love you; it means they are powerless over the drug.

[zodsmen]

A lot of people speak of cravings and such but never get to the root of why a craving is so powerful.  When addicted to any drug this includes alcohol the user who is withdrawing feels a sensation that is every bit as strong as hunger, and often times true hunger or thirst is mistaken for a desire for the drug or drink. This is why many user get skinny even when they drink beer because beer becomes the only thing they crave (at least in their own head). Try starving yourself all the way to death and you will understand just how powerful those cravings are. I'm not a doctor just an addict.

[boogieman]

hi there. this is the baffling side of alcoholism, and it makes the condition difficult to view in a traditional disease model. but the fact is that until alcoholics are ready to change for  themselves as opposed to doing it for other people, there is usually short term success if any. chemical dependency is a sickness that convinces the sufferer they are actually well, and when combined with the overwhelming obsession of craving, it is very difficult to arrest. alcoholics have a combination of a mental obsession and a physical allergy to the booze and its effects, that once set into motion by the first drink, usually brings unpredictable results. the obsession convinces the sufferer that no matter what happened the last time they drank, that they will somehow be able to avoid the usual negative consequences and control themselves. this is the great lie that many alcoholics pursue to the gates of insanity and death. additionally, the alcoholics problems usually begin to accumulate to the point of causing their lives to be unmanageable, and this leads to even more guilt and remorse, which often materializes in consumption, causing more guilt, and the vicious cycle has been set into motion. other complications such as physical dependence are usually present as well. in their mind, the alcoholic has no other way to feel "normal" than to drink, and without it they are consumed with anxiety and depression as few people ever know. and once they take that first drink, they no longer have a choice as to the next one. they go from wanting it to needing it. i would recommend reading the basic text "alcoholics anonymous" as it gives great insight into the inner workings of an alcoholics mind. this can be viewed online at the aa website. hope this helps and take care,   gm