to go or not to go...

[moonfacestal]

So my boyfriend of three years is an alcoholic... He just went to a rehab and it is a nine month thing. I'm not sure what to do... My heart says to stay and wait for him to get out and start from there but then my head says to get out while I can... It's not just me I have to think about, we also have our 8 month old son and if I stay and rehab doesnt work... I can't let him grow up around that, but if I leave and it does work then I just missed out on the only guy I've ever loved... Do I commit myself to his recovery or do I say it's your problem we're not married... I don't want to leave him but I feel like I dont have a choice I shouldn't sacrifice my and my son's lives for the chance that he may get better... He chose to go it wasn't forced he realizes he needs help but he's never consistently tried just when we were fighting... I'm so confused....

[ibizan]

My 2 cyberrecovery friends here have given awesome advice......as usual!:)the only thing i can add is to attend some Al-Anon meetings....u r in dire need of them!

[rpooo]

Very good advice Rachel and I agree.
Moonfacestal You should know that he is needing you more now than ever. Support is a crucial part of rehabilitation. Your support and encouragement will be vital to his success. He is the father of your child, so if you really love him then why can’t you stick around and find out if he can do it. Is there a reason you can't leave him if he doesn't succeed?
If you fear for the safety of yourself and your son then I would recommend you find your way out but if this isn't the case then it could really have a happy ending that your hoping for..What more can the guy do right?
Good luck and best wishes.
Randy

[Twosandbits]

Hello

Your post is a difficult one to give advice as I think you are the only one that can choose what to do. You say your boyfriend went into rehab of his own choice so that is a positive sign that he wants to change. You say he is the only guy you have ever loved and you have a son with him. I can understand that you are frightened of committing yourself to his recovery for nine months and then it not working out. If you leave him now yes you may risk loosing him forever even if he does get sober and stays sober.

I can understand how confused you must be, however do you really have to commit either way right now, can you give yourself more time to think whilst your boyfriend is in rehab. When you are emotionally charged, confused and you don't know what to do, the saying goes don't do anything until you can think clearer.

My boyfriend committed to me getting sober and I have been clean for nearly 3 months and life could not be better, however we take my sobriety one day at a time.

I hope I have helped you a little, please post again if you feel the need there is a lot of good people that use this forum and offer support and advice.

Hope you find your way.

Take care, Rachel