I need to quit

Hello everyone.  I'm a 24 year old male and I have a serious drinking problem.  I can't sleep without it, and I don't remember the last day I have gone without a drink.  I got extremely drunk while my girlfriend was staying with me the other night- to the point where she almost took me to the hospital.  I'm not always a blackout drunk.... but I drink enough to where I have a couple in the morning before work just to get through the day.  I get a lot of shakes, and I'm constantly hung over.  I have a very high tolerance at this point.  After the incident the other night I decided I need to quit.  I tried to go cold turkey, didn't sleep last night and started shaking pretty violently this morning.  I can't pay for medical attention, so my question is... can I just cut down little by little?  I was shaking so badly I got on here and saw that seizures are a very serious reaction that take place quite often and this scares me to death, as I have experienced one before.  Any sort of advice would be awesome... also I've tried the whole AA thing and din't enjoy my experience.  Thanks and take care.

[rpooo]

Okay Bry, not giving up on you yet man but you have me wondering. 8 days now since your last post. Time for an update my friend, I know you got this!

Remember this?
But I need this.  I will not quit trying, I promise.  I refuse to let this keep going.

Do be careful tapering off, do it very slowly if that the route you are choosing. No point in making it harder than it needs to be right? The main thing is that you get to where you want and need to be.."sober".

Randy

[Twosandbits]

Hello

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, I have been through it my self several many times, but have been sober now for 3 months and have never felt healthier and happier you to can feel like I do now but it will take hard work and 100% commitment!!!

What ever you do DO NOT go cold turkey, it can be fatal. You could try cutting down gradually but I'm not sure you would be able to do this by the way you are drinking and the amount you are drinking, you have a real physical addiction.

I live in the UK and am fortunate that I did not have to pay for a supervised medical detox which I think you most DEFINATELY need. Stay on this forum there are lots of great people on here from the USA that can give you advice on medical care ( I'm only assuming you are from the USA as you said you couldn't afford medical care).

I know you are scared but you have recognised you need to stop drinking and are asking for help. You are young so your body will be able to heal quicker if you stop drinking now, rather than if you carried on drinking for many more years.

Keep asking for help and you will receive it, I did.

Take care and best wishes Rachel.

[Omusicgame]

You do need to quit.  I dont know about cold turkey, but you need to.  I know you have shakes, but do u have scary thoughts, dreams hallucinations?  I know when I was an alcoholic, I had alot of scary dreams and hangovers.  They were so bad, that it made me want to quit.  I love being sober rather than hungover.  And I am hoping you will see that one day.  Does it seem like your girlfriend is triggering you to drink?  I know I was triggered by my wife.  Somehow the thought of living our day to day was so monotonous, that I did it to lift me up.  That's why I drank.  Your story sounds very very similar to mine.  Just hope you get better man, and you will see an up side to this.

[ibizan]

bryguy-Look at it this way if u can.....i f u put the energy in2 getting sober that u put in2 BUYING and consuming alcohol.....just imagine how much better things could be.there are options in alcohol/drug treatment for folks who lack insurance to pay for treatment.The county in which u reside has outpatient clinics that receive state subsidies for residents seeking recovery.Check it out.AND to ohmusicgame...NO ONE triggers anyone to drink......it is always our choice to put alcohol/or drugs down our throats.Blaming someone else is an xcuse....and a juvenile lousy one at that!been there...done that......it was childish of me!Today-I CHOOSE!

[rpooo]

First off welcome to MedHelp. I'm glad you found us! What type of alcohol are you drinking and does your girlfriend drink too? After drinking long enough you begin to notice the vicious cycle, Drinking is destroying your health and who you are but going without causes you to feel ill to a point it gets scary. What can you do right? You feel trapped and you want a better life. Even after you work that out you still have the temptation mainly when your around others. The people in our life play such a big role in us being successful with sobriety. Anyone bringing temptation must go or respect what you are trying to accomplish.
It seems most alcoholics aren't too concerned with their own health but think about your loved ones what you’re putting them through. Imagine how scared your girlfriend must have been and what she was feeling. Normally alcoholics are very selfish people. Letting down friends and family members and not caring where the money comes from to buy their alcohol .. just as long as they get it!
Your right it's time to quit and you can do it man, first stop drinking anything but beer. Drink only beer tonight and don’t get hammered. Set rules for yourself about how many you will allow yourself to drink each day always reducing the quantity by at least one.  In the fridge set aside how many beers your allowed to drink each night so you don’t lose track and stick with it then go to bed. Soon this might mean you have to wait later in the day to start drinking so you still get your buzz before going to bed. By the time you reach the point your only allowed just 2 or 3 you may decide "I got this" and not even bother. After a couple of weeks the sleep thing won’t be a problem. Don’t use sleeping aids, just deal with it. You don’t want to trade one problem for another. Don't smoke weed or take pills to supplement the alcohol from being gone in your life. Talk to your girlfriend and loved ones about what you’re going through and how well you are doing. Come to this group and let us know how it's going, we love hearing success stories and offer advice when we can. These things will help you develop a support system of people you really care about and you wouldn't ever want to let them down.
Imagine waking up every morning to a beautiful day and feeling great about your accomplishment. No more friggen hangovers or being scared if you’re going to die.  Your self-confidence will increase tremendously as you began to find out who you are again. You will have the energy to change the things don't like and take full control of your life! You do not have to accept the mediocrity that comes with the life of an alcoholic anymore.
This is all right around the corner for you my friend and you can get started right away! Try my way for a week and tell me how you’re doing along the way. I'll be here every day so you can tell me I was right! ha ha Always remember to just take one day at a time, smalls steps to greatly improving your life. You’re going to feel better than you have in a long time.
Once you have this under control let’s talk about seeing a doctor for blood work and making sure you haven’t done too much damage to your liver. I waited too long to stop and finally got my diagnosis. End stage cirrhosis. 03-23-10 I was 38. You can do much better than I did!
Good luck and I hope the best for you!
Randy

[thebryguy]

Thank you so much everyone for your advice, kind words, and motivation.  I went Monday with nothing in my system.  Mon night was the night I didn't sleep, then crawled out of my bed Tues morning with crippling shakes, confusion, and blurred vision.  I pulled myself together BARELY enough to get to the gas station.  I bought vodka, mixed it with some tonic and SLOWLY got back to a point where I could function.  I had probably 5 shots worth in two drinks between 7 am- 9 am.  Then, last night I had one drink (this drink had probably 4 shots in it) to go to bed.  I actually woke up this morning feeling much better, still a bit crappy.  The shakes have subsided a bit and my general outlook on my situation is much better than the original post.  
rpooo-  I gave the vodka to a friend and going with your beer idea tonight.  Surprisingly I don't feel like I need a drink to get through the daytime hours, although the right side of my body aches (as I'm sure my liver continues to be overworked).  If  I can and do drink 12-15 beers per night... any suggestion as to how many I should start weaning off with?

[thebryguy]

Also, drank two big cups of "detox tea" which specifically states on its label "Promotes healthy liver and kidney function".  This may have helped, not sure.

[rpooo]

I was up to 23 beers a day for the last couple years before my diagnosis. It took less than a week for me to quit but you can certainly undestand why the urgency. Take your time start with 11 but always stay true to your limit for the evening. One beer less every day. You can do this. Make sure your eating meals, aside from the alcohol this was a huge part of the damage I caused.

Look up foods that are high in antioxidants they help rid your body of the toxins injested from alcohol and many other foods. This will aid your liver.

An over the counter natural substance many people take is milk thistle. you might look at that as well. If your not real computer savvy let me know and I'll be more than glad to post some information on the above mentioned.

Your on your way to a lot better life trust me! Drinking from morning and night isn't living it's just getting by.

Randy

[rpooo]

Hello Bry,

How did last night go for you? Ready for night two and ready to stop at 10?

[thebryguy]

I actually only had two 16 ounce beers.  (high alcohol content beers), but nonetheless.  I still had 4 in the fridge when I went to bed.  Big step for me, although the hard shakes, sweats, etc. came back with a vengeance in the middle of the night.  I still didn't go back to the fridge.  I did have a beer before work to stop the shakes, and not proud of it, but I'm working on this physically and mentally.  I'm going to travel to see my girlfriend, and she's counting on me to be her DD.  I won't let her down, but ZERO drinks will be a very hard task to accomplish, as I really don't want her to see me while shaking or just feeling miserable.  I also refuse to sneak any more drinks behind her back.

[Twosandbits]

Hello Bry

Sounds like you are doing really well with the advice Randy gave you, he's a great advice giver and puts 100% effort into helping as much as he can ( your welcome Randy) ; ). I hope you can stick to tapering down and eventually stop, I promise you that your whole life will change for the better and you will find a happiness that will blow your mind!!!

There is evidence that people who have got sober and stay sober are much more content with their lives than people who do drink but don't have problems with alcohol.

I hope you can find that contentment in your life, I have :)

Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

Best wishes

Rachel

[rpooo]

Good morning Bryguy,

Good to see your making the effort and setting rules to stick with. You have done really good with cutting back but kinda missed the point of tapering there huh? ha ha As long as you feel like you got it then that's great! It wont be long and you will have reached your goal!

Once you have stopped drinking completely be careful allowing yourself to be in situations where temptation might be able to get the best of you. Also be careful of the people you surround yourself with. Imagine being in a crowd where everyone is drinking the thought of giving up everything you have already done and gone through could seem more worth while but in a situation where nobody is drinking the choice would be much more simple.

I hope things are still going well, take care and stay with it!

Randy

[rpooo]

Thank you!

:)

[rpooo]

Hello again Bry,

It's been a few days since i've heard from you, I'm just wondering how everything is going? Often alcoholics fail at their first attemp to stop drinking (not that this is the case) but the important thing is to keep trying. I'm still hoping the best for you my friend, you can do this!

Randy

[Twosandbits]

Hi Bry

Just like Randy I was wondering how you are? I tried to stop drinking more times than I can remember! Went to Rehab once, did 4 medically supervised community detoxes and told myself every day, I will stop tomorrow.

Eventually I got it and have stopped for good this time, I know words are easy to say but I can feel it in my heart and soul, I never want to drink again!!! :-)

Hope you get it whilst you are young!

How are you Randy, well I hope?

Best wishes Rachel

[thebryguy]

Not doing so hot.  I really do have the desire to stop.  Much harder than I thought.  I'm sorry for leading on that I was doing so well.  I really felt like I was and did not lie when I said I had cut down so much.  I'm going through a rough patch in which I have had about a half of a 750 ml of vodka per day.  I'm scared for my well- being, at the same time being very serious about getting rid of this monkey on my back.  Any help would be appreciated.

[rpooo]

Sorry to hear things are going so rough for you and the beer isn't doing it I guess. Quitting drinking was very difficult for every person here. It is up to you to make it happen. No one can do this for you. Dont just do it for you but for the people that care about you.

Look at the people you are hanging around? Are they drinking too? This is very important for you not to be tempted. Dont allow yourself to be in an environment where anyone is drinking. Again, drink only beer. It will help you get back on track. It's not as harsh as the liquor. Begin tapering.

Check out some AA meetings. They have helped many people here by providing them with information and support they need to find the strength to get sober. Below is the link to their website which will help you find meetings in your area. Remember most of the people there are in the same situation as you, some better and some worse. They understand and can relate to what it's like. You can just go and listen if you like but you are welcome to intereact with the group anytime you want.

http://alcoholicsanonymous.com/


Maybe this isn't the best route for you to take. Take the advice of my good friend Ibizan

"just imagine how much better things could be.there are options in alcohol/drug treatment for folks who lack insurance to pay for treatment.The county in which u reside has outpatient clinics that receive state subsidies for residents seeking recovery"

I wish there were some magic words I could give you to help but at this point it is up to you to make it happen! Your turn, join the rest of us in living a clean and much more fulfilled life. Get your self confidence back and start living in the real world before its too late. Don't think for a second you cant end up like me!

Randy

[rpooo]

Hi Rachel,

Sorry I haven't written you back sooner. It's very nice of you to ask. I have been doing pretty well. there are no worries, I don’t really have any new concerns. Everything keeps staying just about the same with the exception of my platelets getting lower. Down to 60k and normal range is 140k to 400k. This doesn't get complicated until the 20k mark, then it gets pretty serious so I have changed up my diet a little bit to help with the toxins my liver isn't filtering (this is part of what is killing off my platelets the rest get trapped in the spleen due to portal hypertension causing splenomegaly). Also I have been staying very active which also helps a great deal. I recently moved to Tennessee so I am still working on selecting and getting set up with new  doctors. It's pretty exciting to be able to hear another assessment of my condition. Also I will not only be seeing a Gastroenterologists (digestive specialist to include the liver) but a Hepatologist (liver specialist). Probably sorry you asked now huh! Lol jk

I feel good though and many days I forget for a while that I’m even sick, so that’s a good thing right!

How about yourself, are you still doing well with your sobriety?

Randy

[thebryguy]

Thank you so much Randy.  I'm really going to do this.  You have helped more than you know, but like you said... I have to do this for myself and the ones who love me.  I bought liquor and poured it out about 3 times, just so I could see what I was wasting my money on.  I never liked AA, but tonight I'll give it another shot (no pun intended haha).  I have to try anything and everything.  This is a miserable time right now, but only I can pull myself out.  Again, thank you for your support.

[rpooo]

Your welcome and anytime! Were all here for you, and willing to give you any advice we can. We know what it's like and it's not easy by any means! Not impossible though as you can see. You got your mind set and ready to keep trying, thats great! Now look around you and figure out how to make it easier. Being part of an envirement when alcohol is around is a really difficult place for you to be right now so dont let it happen! You just need a couple of weeks to take some time just for you and there is nothing wrong with that my friend! After that people will see a new person and trust me, they will like the new you much better! Have you ever been sober and seen someone completely trashed, falling down acting foolish? Have you ever been that guy..

I drank for so many years that when it was time to stop I was scared because I didn't know who I was with out it, I worried if my wife would still like me. It's sad to say but nobody hardly knew the real me. I almost spent my entire life that way. It's very sad and not really living at all is it? I'll keep my cirrhosis and sobriety any day than to have to go back to that existance compared to this.

It's great to hear your going to give AA another try, maybe it just wasn't the right night. Think of it this way, it only takes one person, reason, or story to help you discover the motivation you need to make it happen. Whats it going to take for you?

I really hope the best for you Bry and want to see this happen. This is a road none of us ever meant to go down, a place we never wanted to end up in but you can do it just like the rest of us did. You just have to find what works for you.

Randy

[Twosandbits]

Hey Randy

I'm not sorry that I asked how you where doing, sounds like you are having an exiciting time selecting your doctors/consultants (good for you). Relying on our National Health Service we cannot be that choosey, there is a tendency towards you get what you are given ha : ) It's an extremely good service really!!!

I'm going great guns with my Sobriety, it's like I said and maybe you have said, I got it this time and it sits comfortably with me, I no longer have to worry or think about alcohol (it's a great feeling).

I'm just in the middle of weaning myself of Tramadol, prescribed (so thoughtfully ha) when I was in a lot of pain. Yes they are very effective pain killers, I do agree, but also ridiculously addictive. I was prescribed 400mg per day and took that dosage for about a month. I then decided that I could not tell if I was in pain or not so reduced that amout by half. I still had no pain so have reduced it by half again so taking 100mg a day now.

I told my doctor, who has just got back from a 3 week holiday, so I had nobody to ask about coming off Tramadol what I had done and he nearly hit the roof saying I was doing way to quickly. Well yes I do feel rough just taking 100mg per day, not pain, withdrawals I think or maybe just a virus haha : ) However it's 00:07 meaning it will be four days now on that dosage so there's no way I'm upping the dose again!!!

I'm sure I will be fine and I plan to reduce down to 50mg in a week, I'm a tough little cookie, well most of the time : ). Anyway I thought to myself I going to be having surgery in the near future and what pain relief would they be able to give me then if I was already maxed out on Tramadol? Morphine!

So I know I have talked a lot and this site is for alcohol not substances. I was also wondering if you have heard of SMART Recovery? Like Bry I'm not to keen on AA.  I was forced into AA through a Residential Rehab and I was not ready so it kind of put me off, however I did go to a meeting last Friday night and enjoyed it. I was introduced to SMART Recovery by my Counsellor and it really works for me. I would be interested in your point of view.

Ok ok I'm going,

Take Care Randy

[Twosandbits]

Hello Bry

I too am sorry to hear that you are struggling and going through a miserable time, it's hard I know but if you really want this you can do it! : ) I never thought in a million years that I would be sat here at 00:30 sober as a judge, trying to offer a little help to someone else!

Don't feel bad or ashamed if you do not succeed at first, I don't think anyone can say I did it first time round. The most important thing is not to let your setbacks discourage you from trying again and again and again if necessary. I had more attempts at stopping drinking than Soft Mick ( an English term, in case you are wondering what I'm blabbing on about). Then one day I just got it! I think it was because this time I had a group of people to support me going through exactly the same thing as me. They did not judge me as an alcoholic or a problem drinker, they saw me as me, warts and all ha.

Whilst you are still trying to stop drinking I would strongly advise that you explore all options open to you for support for example an understanding doctor, AA, other support groups, personal counselling etc. Then when you do stop you can pull all these resources together. I did this and I think with lots of support you don't feel as scared which is one of the reasons we are drinking in the first place.

I hope this helps Bry, I know how hard it is, if you can do this you can do anything!!!

Hang in there :-)

[thebryguy]

I'll keep thanking everyone for all the support, because I need and appreciate every bit of it.  I'm working on this issue.  I keep getting to a point where it's very hard to say "no".  But I need this.  I will not quit trying, I promise.  I refuse to let this keep going.  I get to a point where I just start sweating and shaking sometimes.  It's hard to tell myself another drink to cure the shakes is "okay".  I will taper off, and I won't sugarcoat things.  Thanks again.  I cannot go to treatment, as I can't take days off from my job.  I know getting well is more important than making bills, but losing my job isn't an option.  Again thanks to everyone who has offered advice.  Off to my meeting, and hopefully a better future.

[rpooo]

Hello Bry,

You are being quiet again so I'm wondering how are things going for you? I know the weekends were the most difficult for me. It's taken me a couple of years to get use to the idea that Friday night isn't that big of a deal after all. It's just what ever I want it to be. Anyways I hope things are going well. Oh how did the meeting at AA go this time?

Randy

[rpooo]

Okay Bry, not giving up on you yet man but you have me wondering. 8 days now since your last post. Time for an update my friend, I know you got this!

Remember this?
But I need this.  I will not quit trying, I promise.  I refuse to let this keep going.

Do be careful tapering off, do it very slowly if that the route you are choosing. No point in making it harder than it needs to be right? The main thing is that you get to where you want and need to be.."sober".

Randy

[thebryguy]

Sorry for not posting for so long.  Okay... Things weren't too bad (i.e. binge drinking), and I haven't drank as much as usual lately, but I did get very drunk on Sunday.  I got pretty mad at myself the following morning.  I got back to the point where I shake and sweat pretty bad at work halfway through my shift because I refuse to drink anything in the mornings any more.  I am at a point where I can weather the storm throughout the day and taper off with about 4 beers before bed.  I'm still trying, and I know I need this.  I'll update as often as possible for the next few days.  As far as the meeting... I still didn't really enjoy AA.  But then again I was in the middle of trying to detox and had a poor attitude.

[rpooo]

You know Bry I was just adding up the days since your first post..45 days ago. How are you doing with that tapering? Are you still working on it? I know I said take your time but..lol

Really though I was just looking back a ways and wanted to check on ya? Still hoping your gonna beat this ya know!

Randy

[SpinBoldak]

Very few people, if any, are able to go from drinking the way that you have been to drinking in a controlled, sustainable way. If you want to stop drinking, AA is your best option.

I was totally creeped out by the first AA meeting I went to. I went to several before I found a group of people I could really relate to and feel comfortable with. During meetings, I have been vocal about the things that bother me about it and openly critical of certain aspects of the program. Honesty is valued above adherence to every little rule, so no one reacts negatively. In fact, All in all it's 80% positive and 20% sketchy to me. That's not a bad ratio, considering that work is the exact opposite! ;)

I would encourage you to keep up with going to meetings and be vocal about what you don't like. You will probably find that most of the people in those meetings had (or have) some of the same misgivings.

[ibizan]

I agree Spin...but the best thing @ AA is ur in the rooms w/so many who are trying to stay sober and clean...its all @ PEER SUPPORT!and after a bit u see who walks what they talk...and those r the folks u gravitate towards!