dont know what to do

[daisylee44]

My husband is an active alcoholic he has drank ever since he was a teenager- when he was younger he was a binge drinker-now for the last 8 years he is an every day drinker.
   health problems are starting to come up for instance his asthma that was under control for years without an inhaler is now getting bad he now needs to be on an inhaler every day (preventer) .. plus he has this constant back pain that he has had for years right hand side of his back and one opinion is that it could be his liver.
   well yes i suppose that it could be because after drinking as many years that he has then things are going to start showing up he is now 50 years old and is suffering-he went to the dr for his asthma but of course wont go for any other reason -Because he isnt an alcoholic.... the sad thing is i feel like i am watching him die a slow death...
   i get really tired of people telling me to leave him because that is not what i want to do at least at this point.... would you leave a person who is diabetic?? i know alcoholism has different issues but still would you leave someone with another disease?????
    scared that i am going to find him in a coma or his lungs will collapse or something....
    family members are so useless..... they are all closing their eyes to this and their only solution is to leave....

[ibizan]

You are so right!Kudzu has benefits and side effects..it is a powerful natural weed regarded as a nuisance by many!But is does have its benefits in balancing the environment!

[Westguy1003]

Regardless of wether its sincere or not. As "good" of an idea as that sounds I'd like to point out the inherent danger in giving someone any sort of medication or drug without their knowledge. Unknown side effects or drug intereactions can have VERY serious consequences. Please do not do it.

[ibizan]

you posted in the smoking forum that you were looking for something to give your wife to make her ill when she smokes and drinks.....hmmmm!do you have a wife?or a husband?i sense some insincerity here-a joke?

[ana1407]

I am facing the same problem at the moment, my husband denies his addiction and is very violent at times with me.
I have tried to give him KUDZU drops in his tea it did work for a while. At the moment i can't afford it. please try it

[narla]

Only your husband can decide he wants to quit if he quits because everyones on his back it won't last.My husband gave me subtle hints for years that I was drinking too much.I knew I was ok,it was only when I found I had liver problems and became a grandma they I decided I had too much to live for that I stopped,I am now 285 days clean,but this is something he needs to do for himself.Al-anon would be great for you as a family member you'd be able to talk to others going through the same thing.Good Luck

Denise

[Westguy1003]

Living with an alcoholic or being in a relationship with one can be very tough. At this point in his life he probably feels like he's too old to change his habits.

This is a difficult situation. In order to confront him about him and hope to get any forward momentum on this you need to get the family involved. Everyone needs to voice their concern and their emotions and show/demonstrate how his drinking is hurting them. Only then might he understand the true severity of his disease.

His health problems are most important for the immediate future. While its likely that any or all of this is related to his drinking it's not for sure until he is checked out thoroughly by a doctor and that includes a liver function test. You need to get him to a doctor somehow and maybe the test results will help him see the path he is on.

Its interesting that you compare his condition to diabetes. That's one of the MANY health problems he may be developing due to his excessive drinking. But Alcoholism is as much a social disease as it is a physical one.

Living with a spouse who is a diabetic may be challenging at times but they'll rarely refuse to take their insulin or insist on gorging on chocolate cake to slowly kill themselves. Diabetics learn to adjust to a new lifestyle because the alternative to doing so is far worse.

Alcoholics, like diabetics or anyone with a chronic illness, need to "take the medicine" as it were to get better. They need to accept their situation for whatever reason and take the necessary steps to get better.

If he's unwilling to do this then you should be prepared to leave him. You have a right to a happy life too! As much as you love him and as long as you've been together you cannot be responsible for him. You can only be responsible for your own life and your own happiness. That's not to say that you shouldn't do everything that you can to help him but in order for him to truly understand where he's at and how his drinking is affecting you he needs to see that his drinking is going to drive you away.

The consequences for continuing to drink need to scare him.

Get the family together and see if you can't mobilize them. Also, Al-Anon would be a fantastic place for you to get the support and guidance you need to deal with this difficult situation.

Good luck! Keep us posted! We are here for you!