My dying alcohol home detoxing husband

[withoutanswers]

I called a hot line just before looking for a blog site to get help. My husband is in our home detoxing from alcohol or so he believes but he just keeps drinking more so he doesn't have to feel the pain. He is dying right in front of me and I'm told I can't do a thing about it. I even called the ER last night at first they said can't do anything for him but one I told them he is throwing up black coffee ground type blood and going in and out of alertness they told me I needed to get him to the ER
My husband wants to be better but won't let me take him?

[CML2014]

Well thank you dear lady for your thoughtful post, you have also helped me with your kind words.

CML

[withoutanswers]

: ) I just want you to know, although I may not know you. I believe that you are a very impacting person here on this site not just this community. You are a person to respect and honor I believe you are one of God's Angels.  I don't know if you are a Christian but I felt God's grace and strength through your words of wisdom and encouragement. I will forever be great full to you and to the others for helping me get through one of the toughest unfamiliar times in my life. My husband and i are doing GREAT! My friend may you have a lifetime of happiness and God Bless you

[CML2014]

OH, WOA!!!!  

Well how about that---So happy for you both!!!

I will keep the prayers coming.

May the good news continue;
CML

[withoutanswers]

Five days clean and sober
: )

[CML2014]

WOA,

Such a wonderful post---not what you went through but the outcome. Life finds a way and good can come from bad. For now live for each other!

If the need arises you know where to find us!
Good Luck, dear lady, to you and your husband
CML

[withoutanswers]

Thank you for all your support and prayers.
Needless to say today has been a miracle. Not only does the alcoholic have the skills to get what they want, but so can the loved one, especially for their soul mate. I realized yesterday drastic measures had to be taken while my husband was sleeping I don't know how I did it I really don't but somehow managed to put myself into a passed out convulsions pretty much turned into a seizure state,
Easy to do I guess if you have been awake for 48+ hours straight no food, nothing to drink. Any way it forced his hands to call 911 to get me help. I figured i could use a good physical any way. They came cutting my clothes off of me, incubating me putting me on a stretcher. My husband confessed to the EMT that he was very ill with alcohol addiction and needs help, but please he cried and begged please help my wife first (me)
They put me on a stretcher and he voluntarily walked into a separate ambulance to get himself help. So in the end we met up at discharge same night
He cried and told me he was sorry and that he NEVER wants to see me go through anything like that again because of his stupid choices. He promised to himself and to me were getting my old husband back. We came home he has the shakes I will just hold him even if I had to sacrifice a small part of myself and get charged for ambulances it was all with it to free my husband even know I know this could happen again in our marriage It's because he is priceless to me.

[ibizan]

Thank You for your sound advice and support to Wthoutanswers! May she find her own!

[CML2014]

We are here for you, WOA.  You have mentioned prayer, so I am assuming you may have a minister you can turn to at this moment. That is who I asked  when a friend of mine needed intervention. It was their priest from their church. At least you will not be alone and can be comforted.

Let us know how things go.

Thank You,
CML

[withoutanswers]

Thank you so much,  I have got to say I needed all of that I have the strength and courage now.  Ty however my heart rate has been sitting 104-106 and I'm shaking prob sleep depraved

[bahamamama13165]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It reminds me of some of the horrible things I put my loved ones thru. You are getting a first hand lesson of how a full blown alcoholic will act. You can't believe anything they say (and don't take it personally, it's the addiction talking- not your husband) Is it possible to contact the local AA to get a women in recovery to come help you? Your husband needs some tough talk and he's manipulating you. It might be helpful to get someone who is not emotionally attached to the situation. Folks from AA can be very helpful to complete strangers dealing with this kind of thing. I pray you can get him admitted today. And that stuff he said about having to be intoxicated to get admitted is BS. Someone in severe withdrawal is way more of a medical emergency.  And the pain of withdrawal will make him more willing to go in. Remind him they will dope him up to help him get threw the withdrawal. Ativan makes coming off alcohol way more comfortable (and less dangerous)

[ROSYouralright]

DITTO CML!!!

[TTinKKerBBell]

DITTO CML2014, again !!

[TTinKKerBBell]

ditto,

Ditto,

DITTO!! what CML2014 said !!

[CML2014]

OH!!!!!! ....and by the way we Drunks are masters of manipulation. No one can match us when we want to get alcohol and get drunk. So ANYTHING he says while drunk or Needing to drink cannot be taken into consideration. We never remember it anyway

[CML2014]

I guess, in my opinion only, nothing that HE says or does matters as much as getting him admitted to the emergency room. So if they will  not take him if he is conscience and refusing to go, then .......wait until he passes out. Call EMS tell them he was throwing up blood and now has passed out.  He will have to wake up in the hospital...mad as hell maybe, but for now he is still alive.

After he sobers up and is tested and no longer drunk , that is when the 2 of you need to decide what to do. Talking to a drunk when he is drunk is like "Pissing in the wind"  excuse my language, but it just goes no where.

Unless you want this scenario to keep repeating itself, you have to make the move NOW....and he has to be reasoned with  WHEN he is sober not drunk.
So if he is passed out now---call EMS.
.....of course you know you should not have to fight this hard for the love of someone , only an alcoholic or mental illness makes it this difficult. So you have to accept the commitment to see this through whatever it takes--are you up for that? No shame in admitting it is too much--very strong people have walked away from a loved one in order to save their own life.

Keep us posted and prayers are with you.
CML

[withoutanswers]

husband has never been violent he is actually quite sensitive. no one will help. finally I was scared enough that he would die because he kept telling me your killing me. he fell to the ground on his knees crawling and then laying on the floor. I pretended to pass out because I knew I mean I just knew he was sick and in pain but was playing me it amazes me the acting skills addicts have. any way guess he got scared because all of a sudden he mustard enough energy to get up himself and even help me up to the couch, now he says I will go I don't want to hurt you like this if you get me a bottle they won't take me if I'm not intoxicated. I take him ask him to sit in the car because he wanted me to get a large bottle I figured if it was just to keep him alive long enough to go to the ER it not to be a large bottle. He is sitting in the passenger seat of my car throwing up in the parking lot right out front of the package store. I give him the alcohol he said he was going to **** his pants right there in the car if I didn't unlock the door for him to pee. tricked yet again he goes into the liquor store and buys a very lrg bottle this has all been tequila he says he needs to drink some before we leave the parking lot. he throws up some more he has drool coming from his mouth. Well let me just say he changed his tune after drinking half the bottle already tells me to take him home insists take me home cries and tells me Im going to make a huge mess by taking him. he kept saying it's the 7th day it s the 7th day You made it. I don't even know what that means what I do know is that it has only been three days of drinking but I wasn't going to tell him that because 7 days was very important to is impaired thinking in regards now he can detox I just need to hold him he says. I can't Im to scared to take him home he tells me again your going to make a mess you will ruin everything. im telling him that I love him reminding him it was he who was sorry for ever picking up that bottle  it was he that said I can do this baby at home I have done this before he has been saying that for the last 3 days I even called out of work today sick and again tomorrow. Finally he is in and out sleep awake drooling all over his clothes can't understand a word that's coming out of his mouth they were not even words like he couldn't move his lips to make words out. so I asked him one last time you look me in the eyes and tell me you DONT love me and you DONT want to spend the rest of your life with me and I will drop you home without accountability or you DO love me and you DO want to spend the rest of your life with me because I love you and I promise I want what's best for you but I will not take you either home or through the ER doors which we have been sitting in the parking lot for 2 hours worrying if I was making the right choice taking him. he then mutters yes luv u I go I was relieved pulled up asked a nurse to have someone help me get him out of the car we open the car door he looked like a deer in headlights he is mumbling drooling and somewhat crying saying can I go home can I just go home the nurse told me they can't take him out of the car or admit him without his willing to go even after I told them about the fear I have and the coffee like blood in his throw up I told them I was scared I was going to take him home to die. what they recommend me to do was go home call EMT but again they won't be able to take him unless he is willing.  I am at an angry to him for doing this to us stage right now. so I get him home I took his wedding band off and mine I put mine on another hand he went right to sleep in the bed and I will sleep in the guest room or living room so that I can hear if he shuffles around at 2am like he has been to look for more. I keep getting up and checking on him every 30 min to an hour to make sure he is still breathing I mean this is so nerve racking and I know it's not about me but he shouldn't no one should ever have to go at this alone. he can get his ring back and I may put mine back on and go back into the bedroom as soon as he is clean and sober, I will follow through with that and I am giving that to him as a goal because this whole time when I got him just close enough to making the right decision it was when the focus was on me hurt and us as soul mates that's when he was vulnerable the most to want to go to hospital. I know this was a mouth full but I don't know what this night is going to entail and if I get to go on another ride tomorrow. I just can't sit back and watch all the wonderful things he has accomplished as a man a very proud man he should be, his job he has already called in sick twice he asked me to do it I said I wasn't he was a grown man if he was choosing to be irresponsible he was going to have to make the call, I mean he is great at his job and make a 60 something annual salary not a stressful job or position by no means but I don't think it's self satisfying compared to what he did once before. before I met him this being the second time he fell off the wagon after 15 yrs of sobriety he lost his job due to his relapse causing a 7 day or two week drunken spell he gets arrested and detox a year and a half from the last relapse sober when I meet him but has shared his story with me so I wasn't completely ignorant to the idea of know I may have to go through this but really was hoping I never would. I pray hard and tonight in addition to covering my husband in a blanket of protection I pray tomorrow miracles do happen. Amen

[bahamamama13165]

You can't just hide the alcohol from someone this bad off. The withdrawal could very well kill him. He needs to be admitted to the hospital ASAP. After he detoxes (with meds) it will be his choice as to whether he gets the help for addiction he needs. I think his symptoms suggest he has blood somewhere in his digestive tract.

[CML2014]

Yes, well talk to us--what is the status of the situation right now? Is he still sleeping or has woke up mad as hell that you took his keys and alcohol?
Be careful--has he ever been violent with you ??

Do what YOU need to be SAFE first, k?

CML

[ROSYouralright]

Better to be safe than sorry! My vote is CALL 911!

[tetee77]

He has very bad acid reflux. He needs med.care. asap plus they cam hlp him detox. Hope he feels better soon.And u take care of yourself too!

[withoutanswers]

And thank you for your prayers

[withoutanswers]

Thank you for the prayers

[withoutanswers]

Omg! Thank you for answering me thank you so much. He is telling me I am going to make a big mess of I call 911. I'm scared because part of me doesn't care if he hates me when this is all aid and done the part is he is my husband it's tearing me a part to make the call. My One last effort is while he is sleeping for now I hid his keys and the alcohol to force him to feel some of the pain associated with the detox process in hopes he will finally let me take him to the ER?