Need advice/reassurance.

[swabes]

Hello all,
Just a few worries I want to share on here.
My mum has always had trouble with her drinking, I think it's a family trait on her side. For as long as I can remember she has always sat in the livingroom alone and drank herself into oblivion. She is unpleasant when drunk, she is very thin and is not built to consume as much alcohol as she does. She says nasty things. Recently I confronted her about and she has cut down but I think it's starting to flare up again. She smokes a lot of dope too when she drinks. Her boyfriend stays over sometimes and that's when it gets really bad. In one night they would drink up to 4 bottles of wine and a lot of beer and smoke a lot of dope. In a week my mum would drink 5 or 6 nights of the week but as I've said she's doing better now.
My brother is badly into drugs and also drinks too much, he gets nasty and suicidal and the whole house suffers as a result of it. I have always hated drink and drunk people from a very young age. It upsets me to see it. Seeing my mum so helplessly drunk disgusts me sometimes I find it pathetic.
Is she showing signs of being alcoholic?

I used to have trouble drinking too, I have depression and drinking made it worse so I learned my limit and drank only occassionally. Sometimes I don't drink at parties and stuff and when I'm down because it only takes one thing to ruin my buzz and send me crazy. I have a lot more self control over it than my family, I do not want to be like that and I'm terrified that I will end up like my mum if it's a family trait. I want a family and I never ever want my kids to see me like I so often see my mum.
I binged on drink a few nights ago, had a really great night until I got home and then had a whole episode of attempted self harm and stuff (the depression). Really disappointed in myself now.
I want to ensure this never happens again. I don't want to be like my my mum. Is the only way to ensure this to go teetotal? Or should I just limit myself on my drink.

I probably sound silly, looking here there a people with genuine problems and I'm just venting my worries but I just need some advice. Sorry if I've wasted your time reading all this and I would be so greatful for some help!

[ibizan]

Thx dear..its been well worth the work...alcohol and drugs no longer dominate my world!brain is clearer....and not wasting $$$$$ on all of it!Al-anon helps u cope w/ur moms drinking...its a support for u...pls don't view it as a betrayal to her!Many there love their alcoholic...they dislike their behavior!

[swabes]

Thank you very much! You've both been very helpful and I will be sure to never mix drink with my meds. I'm glad you mentioned it takes time, to take things one day at a time, I guess these things cant be rushed overnight and I will be sure to remember this when dealing with my mum. Thank you and congratulations on your 28 years of sobriety, wow what a triumph!

[ibizan]

So glad u checked in w/us here!I looked at ur profile......u r a beautiful young lady and resemble one of my favorite musicians Bjork!My brother:)Rpoohbear gave u fab advice...he always does...we're very lucky to have him here in the forum.....and i really cannot top anything he said....alcoholism/addiction does run in families...there is a genetic predisposition......it runs heavy on both sides of mine which was denied according to my mum.....i've been sober/clean 28 yrs.now-began mine at age 14 thinking i was just partying but drinking to get drunk/and drugging til u cannot feel ur toes is not social use.Got sober/clean at age 28......i'm 56 now....all one hour atta time...one day atta time.PLS PLS PLS do not mix alcohol w/ur prescription meds......it negates the effects of ur meds for alcohol is a central nervous system depressant...and one could slip into cardiac arrest unknowingly as a result.

[swabes]

Hello, thank you very much for your reply.

I hadn't really considered alonon no, I'm so afraid of upsetting my mum if she was to find out that I basically consider her an alcoholic. Despite everything I really do love her, and I worry a lot for what she is doing to her body. She has been through a lot but drink is not the answer.
I will be careful thanks, I was so disappointed with myself for getting in such a state the other night, and started worrying if I was doomed to be like this but I'm determined to make sure I don't.

Thank you again and I will make sure to post from time to time and let you know how things are with me and her. You too, and well done for winning your battle with alcoholism!

[rpooo]

Hi swabes,

Have you given anythought to alonon meetings? It could help you gain a better understanding of why some of your family behave this way. You would also have the oppertunity to meet others your age that are feeling the same way. Alcohoism can be hereditary but you have the choice to be anyone you want to be. You never have to be that way at all. You just need to be careful.

My family is much the same way and I fell into the same trap but now im over two years sober. I have 3 other sibling that have never had to battle with alcoholism at all.

If you dont like drinking then don't, why take the risk. Your real friends will stand by your decision.

Please never think you have wasted anyone time with your post, it is a very good post and I think your very smart to ask. Always feel welcome to post questions or concerns you have. I hope you will post from time to time and let us know how things are going. Take care.

Randy