How do I become sober when my boyfriend still uses.

[Reasons1234]

My boyfriend drinks and uses drugs.  I use drugs also but I want to quit.  I dont know how to because when my boyfriend is out drinking and uses drungs it tringgers me to do the same thing.  I love my boyfriend alot and he says he wants to be sober, but he still drinks and uses. It gets me upset and hurt when he tells me one thing and does another.  I dont know how to handle this because deep down I want to leave him, but I want to help him and myself.  Im just really at a lost what should I do or How should I do it.

[tbird0601]

Hi, just read your ? And I understand exactly where your coming from. The thing for you to understand is that you need to take a good look at you, try and remember the person you are or were without the drugs and set your mind to becomming that person again. You can not afford to focus on what he's doing it's got to be about you and only you for now. You'll probably find that you and he have nothing in common besides the addiction. Also remember you can be addicted to people and sex too ! Good luck, Hope you find an AA  or NA room soon.

[ibizan]

Such a good comment...I read your profile...u battle a hellish addiction with the opiates.....keep a going dude...u r doing well...its all one hour atta time..one day atta time!:)

[BornofOsiris]

Just remember, this is your life, your sobriety means more then anything. Pretty much a choice if you want to commit suicide using...or...Be clean and have the most wonderful life you could have. Just talk to him about going to NA/AA meetings, it helps a ton. You guys need to make a plan, educate yourselves, its a long hard road of recovery. If he is not willing then cut him loose. Im sorry but like i said this is your life.

[rligh09]

I agree!! My husband and I battled with alcoholism for many years. When I got pregnant with our 4th child I quit, I never had a problem with doing it then. But my husband would still drink it was awful. Finally I said I had had enough and he needed to go to AA he fought and said no and begged me to let him do it on his own. Well he failed 5 times but thank god he got it right on the 6th. Long story short there is no way we could ever have done it without working together!! We were the glue that held each other in place when we felt weak we leaned on each other it has been amazing for our relashonship. he fell off the wagon one time in three yrs and myself none. But I think about it everyday. This week we are tryiing to kick our wonderful Vicodin Addiction. God will we never learn!!

[ibizan]

nice to see u posting dude!hope u r doing well and lets read more of u here!

[boogieman]

Hi. I can assure you that the previous responses are right on the money. 2 sicks don't make a well, and until one decides for themselves that they want to change, there wll be little if any lasting sobriety. I found this out first hand, that good intentions and willpower are simply not enough. If you want to stop, there is a solution. But it often comes with some hard decisions.the good news is if you can hang on, and help yourself, from my experience things will become better in time than they ever were. Take care, GM

[bbq33]

When your brain is not working right from drugs that person cannot make a right decision. Tell him to  not think about it but go into treatment and then thing about your life situation. When he can think clearly he may understand that he has a disease and there is a medicine for it. I am an addict and alcoholic and use AA as my medicine for my disease. I don't know how it works but it does. If he is not ready to treat his disease then for your sake in the long run, jeave him and get new friends who are in recovery or are not afflective with this disease. It is a life or death situation as drugs and alcohol are do cunning and powerfull  that you must make the right decision or your life could be ruined. Meditate about it. I know how hard this is at this moment in time but think of your future life.
bbq33

[ibizan]

if your bf really wanted to stop drinking and using he would make the committment to himself.....but sounds like he's not ready or willing to do the work it takes for recovery.If u really want to stop u can but don't xpect him to support u in that endeavor for he will be losing his partying friend and he can't have that!I just had 26 years sober/clean.A lot of hard work mentally emotionally spiritually and WELL worth it!At 24 years sober i met a man who was 4 years clean from cocaine.He began to smoke pot then running with old bad influences then came the crack and the nastyass persona and mouth.I cut him loose despite loving him as much as i did.My sobriety and serenity was worth more than he and he had no desire to clean himself up.I didn't have a desire to drink/use but had a great desire to physically hurt him which was not good for psyche!:)u say down deep u want to leave......when women deny that inner voice...that intuition.. they do themselves a great disservice!follow that inner voice and save urself dear!no one else will!:)