Aa
Recovery
Hi,
Last August my alcoholic husband of 17yrs pulled a weapon and threatened suicide. He had never been violent but his alcoholism became much worse after his mother died. I was never physically threatened but all the other abuse was there. I felt like I had no choice but to leave as I felt unsafe in my own home. I called the police and he ended up in a mental hospital for 5 days. While in the hospital I obtained a PPO and then filed for a divorce. I have not seen him in 7 months. I am doing pretty well but often have days where I wonder if I made a big mistake. I miss him a lot, wonder how he is, and want to talk with him. Is this a normal part of recovery after an event like this?
Last August my alcoholic husband of 17yrs pulled a weapon and threatened suicide. He had never been violent but his alcoholism became much worse after his mother died. I was never physically threatened but all the other abuse was there. I felt like I had no choice but to leave as I felt unsafe in my own home. I called the police and he ended up in a mental hospital for 5 days. While in the hospital I obtained a PPO and then filed for a divorce. I have not seen him in 7 months. I am doing pretty well but often have days where I wonder if I made a big mistake. I miss him a lot, wonder how he is, and want to talk with him. Is this a normal part of recovery after an event like this?
ibizan is right, keep up with the counseling and focus on your new life. You did the right thing, for yourself and your son. There is a saying in Buddhism, “No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” You can't save him, that is his responsibility. Please forgive yourself for protecting yourself, and do not feel like you made a mistake. Give yourself credit for being so brave, what you did was a huge step! I wish you the best.
COMMUNITY LEADER
oh that is good....u keep on w/ur counseling and creating a NEW life 4 urself devoid of this crazy drama!
No children in the home. My son is grown 22 yrs old and was not present at the time. To my knowledge my ex is still drinking not working, paying his bills or participating in any recovery program. I look back now and know I was brave to be able to set the limits I did and detach completely. I guess it is only natural to want to talk with him. Somehow I know this would not be good for me. I have been in counseling which has helped.
After years of abuse this happens alcohol is powerful and it will kill steal and destroy without help it is to much. Get the help you need aa meetings counseling sessions you can get well but you cannot make your husband well if he dont want to get better. Give it a little more time see how things workout. Because you cant change him only he can. Good luck.
COMMUNITY LEADER
If ur husband has not sought treatment nor apologized to u for threatening ur life then sadly to say...and i realize this is difficult...u did the right thing to protect ur life and leave the situation.Any children in the home witness to all of this?how did this affect them if so?
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