Boyfriend starting to drink a lot, how do I help?

[lucymae96]

So for the past three months or so my boyfriend has been getting drunk every night. It bothered me at first because I was worried about him but I wasn't sure how to go about letting him know. A few days ago he told me that he thinks he's becoming an alcoholic. It's not bad now but I think eventually it will be, and I'm so worried. I told him I'd do whatever I could to help him maybe not drink quite as much, but I'm not really sure what I could do. We live about 45 minutes apart and I don't drive so I don't see him very much, maybe twice a week. I told him he could call me if he needed something to take his mind off of it, but I don't know how well that'll work. It also doesn't help that his parents buy him a **** ton of alcohol whenever he wants (he's 19) any ideas on what I should do?

[Vanessa012]

I would definitely suggest finding him some help from people who have the exact same problem. I say this because first, it is an extremely big job to take on to help someone get sober. It is not something one can do on their own. You will need support. And secondly, help can only be effective when it's provided by someone who KNOWS. Let me try to an example.

It's like a woman who had to give up her child for adoption and still struggles with the pain. I would not know where to begin to help her because I've never had children and never had to experience that difficult situation. I hope this makes sense. Helping someone with a drinking problem is a very sensitive thing-and the best way to even make a beginning is to lead them to people who have gotten sober.

Just please don't put all the responsibility on your shoulders. It's easy to, I know. But there are people out there who are more then willing to help him. Good luck.

[rpooo]

Lucy it doesn't sound like there is much you can do, he has got to do this for himself and probably give it up entirely for a while atleast. It's too bad his parents are contributing to his problem. Maybe it woud be good for him to talk to them. Also is he going to school, working or both? That could sure lead him in the right direction and keep him busy enough that giving up the alcohol wouldn't be such a challenge.

It will always be important you are supportive of him wanting to quit, let him know how it makes you feel being around him when he Is drinking and how much more you enjoy his company when he isn't. Making him want to be a better person and live up to your expectations can do wonders for a person as long as your intentions are good and in this cases they surely are. Good luck with everything, I hope he can get a handle on it for himself and the sake of your realationship. :)

Randy