Fearful thoughts

[DoubleInTrouble]

I'm on clean day 6 from norco and alcohol, alcohol is my DOC and the worst for me (personally speaking). I do not want to drink and am very happy to get sober, but I'm always feeling so scared and paranoid about going anywhere I feel like every place is a trigger, it's not a healthy fear , it's a scary fear . It's stopping me from working and being productive. I remember 7 years ago when I for sober for 5 yrs i thought to get sober and I got sober with no fear and 100% confident in myself and made it happen but I never took pils then , I actually started norcos during my alcohol sobriety but a year after taking the pills I slowly got back to drinking , worse choice of my whole entire life.
How do I stop being so scared and become more confident in myself and my sobriety? Do u think it's the pills this time that is making it harder to stop bcuz it damaged my happy cells lol? Seriously I want my confidence, motivation and determination back! Iam a Taurus and I have always been stubborn and determined for things I want  , I just want to know where that went ?

[CML2014]

Good for you DT!!!!

Congratulations on day 9-- Day 9 was the turning point for me, so hope it works that way for you too.

Stay Strong,
CML

[DoubleInTrouble]

Thanks for your great advice, I'm on day 9 now, and my anxiety is not that bad, I have been taking L-Tyrosine and L-Theanine , I have not been to Dr left that I want to go see to inquire about the anxiety and Vivitrol , to be hones I been telling my brain if I have gone 9 days sober with out meds I probably don't need them but then there r days that are not as peachy and I think to my self that I wld be a good idea if I was on Vivitrol at least thy would e my backup on my weaker days . But for now is rather not get on anything else and do it natural.

[CML2014]

Hi DT,

It seems that you have been grappling with this decision of yours to get sober. Remember it is YOUR decision! In fact today is day 7? You have managed to stay sober and clean of drugs, so you must be doing something right. As you said you are a very determined individual and because of that your chance for success is excellent.

Now, how we get and stay sober is handled differently by everyone. No two people do it the exact same way, so there is no formula for guaranteed success without fear, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and a multitude of complex feelings, Every alcoholic has gone through what you are going through in their fight to stay sober. Why do you think the task of "getting sober" is so dreaded and difficult--if we could one day wake up , say "I quit", with no further adjustments to our lives, hell there would be no such thing as an Alcoholic--we would just be like everyone else have a drink or 2 and be satisfied.

Alcohol is our addiction. Our body NEEDS it, and active alcoholics continue to feed that addiction. When you stop alcohol and drugs it is a"Life Changing Event" You are allergic to the thing you are addicted to.
Think of it this way -you are allergic to peanuts, you love em, but they could kill you. What do you do? You stay away from ANYTHING with peanuts.
Well you now have to stay away from anything with alcohol or drugs.  You say your are constantly afraid of doing things that might be a "Trigger" ...... Guess what, that is a healthy fear for someone beginning a sober life.
Be afraid of the people and places that fed your addiction and cut them off, but you cannot let it paralyze you from living.

Bottom line here DT, there is no magic pill to make things "all better"--You and your inner strength are the only magic pill. There will be fear and anxiety , but you are going to have to learn to deal with it. Antidepressants can and do help, but they take time. That and a counselor would be a great combination for you at this time. You need guidance and accountability, if not to someone else,it will have to be on your shoulders. You are going to be afraid of failure, because you failed once befor....so what people fail numerous times and get right back up and start over. Jump in the deep end of the pool, DT, and sink or swim.

Here to talk as much as you want, but do not have YOUR answers. Only you have them.

Start Swimming!
CML  

[ibizan]

i believe i also mentioned that a monthly shot will not help you re-arrange your thoughts and quick fix improve your life!A lifestyle change......changing the ppl places and things...having a support group w/ppl who have significant sober/clean time...seeing this in action from others will be a necessarry teacher for you!

[DoubleInTrouble]

Yes I did, but u were referring to the thoughts I had about seeing a Dr about Vivitrol and anxiety/depression meds.

[ibizan]

I posted to you in your thread 3 Days and Counting...did you read it?