Two's and Bits is feeling whole again!!!

[Twosandbits]

Hello

I just wanted to share a positive story for anyone who is thinking about stopping drinking, struggling with recovery or just wants to read my post.

I have been an alcoholic for approxately 10 years, I have had numerous detoxes and been into rehab. I have done a lot of stupid things whilst intoxicated, lost jobs, relationships, friends and very nearly my whole family including my children. I also was seriously endangering my own health.

I had another detox In October 2011 but was drinking again by January. Then something changed inside in me. I no longer wanted to drink, not for financial reasons, not for my partner, not for my family and not even for my children. I am aware that could be perceived as selfish but I wanted to stop for ME!!!

So I went back to my alcohol centre (tail between my legs) and fortunately they agreed to give me another detox. The 5 days of taking Librium went well, however after the pills had stopped I experienced the most terrible anxiety, agitation and a total sense that I had lost the feeling of well being, I was suffering big time.

With the help of this forum and some exceptional people who use it, and the excellent one to one counselling from my key worker I have not had a drink since the 27 April. I attend SMART Recovery groups most days where I have made many friends.

At present I am suffering some medical problems (not alcohol related) and I feel able to deal and cope with my problems with a calm and positive attitude, I never would have been able to do this whilst drinking.

My relationships are great and I am mow extremely close to my family and children. Through SMART Recovery I have learnt so much about myself and can now practice mindfulness in case I feel stressed or anxious. I do feel very very happy and so grateful that I found the strength to find my way to a better life and believe me IT IS!!! I am very aware that I am in very early recovery, but I will not get complacent or let my guard down, something DEFINATELY changed this time and it was ME.

I hope my story gives inspiration and hope to others, no matter how may detoxes you have or how many times you have to start your recovery again, don't give up, there is hope!!!

[Twosandbits]

Thank you very much Sara, you are a brilliant cyber friend! xxxx : )

[dominosarah]

You are doing amazing!!!

[Twosandbits]

Thank you Sara

I do feel like I'm coping, im fact i KNOW im coping!!! Hopefully I will find out the results sometime after next Wednesday, I will let you know the outcome.

Love to you and pets.

Rachel x

[dominosarah]

Hopefully they will find out what is causing the problems.  So many times after we sober up our medical issues come to the surface.  I had lady troubles many years ago so i know what you are going thru.  There is nothing that we cant get thru now that we are sober.

My dad loved snakes.  It wasnt a trait that was passed on to me!!  I am scared to death of them!!!  lol

[Twosandbits]

Hi Sara

She is a Butter Corn Snake and was sexed by the breeder. Wish I could show you some photos of her some how.

I'm going for an MRI Scan on Friday morning for my lady troubles, I'm a bit scared and anxious but proud of myself for not turning to drink. I don't even want to drink at all it feels like a curse has been lifted from me.

Hope all is well with you and your animal friends.

Rachel x

[dominosarah]

What kind of snake is she and how do you know it is a girl?

[Twosandbits]

Sara

I would upload a photo onto my profile page but my iPhone won't let me for some reason? But trust me she is a stunner!

Rachel x

[ibizan]

sara snakes r fascinating creatures.......i like them 2!silky?oh yes!she has a b-utiful skin patterning!

[dominosarah]

Silk???  Oh good lord!!!  lol

[Twosandbits]

Hahaha Sara

My snake is beautiful and not dangerous in any way. She does feel cold but when she slides through your hands she feels like silk. I sit and watch tv with her sliding between my fingers, she is very inquisitive and then she curls up under my jumper and goes to sleep.

However I have to make sure I am aware that she is on me at all times and not loose my concentration as she can move very fast and I would hate to loose her. Don't think my neighbours would be that impressed either haha.

Hope you and your pets are well and happy?

Love Rachel x

[dominosarah]

How for the love of god do you love a snake?  They give me the shivers and make me run really fast the other way!!!

[Twosandbits]

Thank you ladies

I would also like to thank you for being here for me and many others on this forum, you are wonderful ladies and have helped me emensley, especially in the wee small hours of the morning when I had no one to talk to.

And yes I will keep you updated on my snake, I love her to bits.

Best wishes to you both.

Rachel x

[ibizan]

Well 2s and bits u r now WHOLE again!so proud of u....love talking w.u...pls continue to educate me on the care of that beautiful reptile u recently got!

[dominosarah]

What a great thread!!  I am so proud of you!!  I am a firm believer in some sort of recovery care,  We bury so many demons when we are using and we have to face them head on.  We have to do this for ourselves first and foremost so being selfish is a good thing!  I started drinking before i was a teenager and didnt quit till i was 40'ish.  My relationship with my daughter really suffered but i am happy to report i finally feel like her mom now and she sees me as her mom.  That was a huge undertaking that sparked many tears, emotions  and sleepless nights but oh so worth it.  Ya know that person who lived here years ago doesnt live here anymore, i do now and it feels great!  

I wish you continued success in your recovery, you wear it well~~~sara