failure

[Cici_xo]

So after 9 moths and 14 days of sobriety I gave in and drank. I surprised myself having only 3 beers since they were free. I know I should feel disappointed and what not but I honestly feel relieved. Almost like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders from having to restrict myself for so long. Why don't I feel bad? Oh, and some background on me, I'm 20, been an alcoholic for 4 years drinking either 1/2 a fifth of vodka or a 30 of beer every night. I don't understand why after months of trying to quit and then finally managed, I don't feel anything but relieved? Normal?

[rpooo]

Cici,

Although we all have different opinions we all share two things. We really want to help and we all care about you! I know you were forced into this detox and I understand why you didn't like it, but because your strong and smart you have taken it upon yourself to come find this group and get the support you needed. I am always hoping the best for you :)

Randy
p.s. If you keep drinking it will make you fat! ha ha

[Cici_xo]

Thank you so much to everyone who has posted to help me out with some great advice. I really appreciate it and its definitely helping me out to stay sober.

[Punkinhead75]

I was told early on that the idea that I could somehow manage to drink succesfully again had to be smashed.  So far today the idea is still smashed.  When I look back at my drinking history I can plainly see the effects alcohol had on my life.  Sure there were fun times. In the end however I couldn't stop and almost lost everything.  I was a slave to my addiction.  Life wasn't fun.  Alcohol kicked my butt.

When it came time to get sober I found myself easily surrendering.  I had hit my bottom and sincerely wanted to change.  Although I had physical cravings the desire to use was gone.  

Every now and again I get the urge to drink or drug.  When it has hit I've been blessed with the ability to get to a mtg or make a call.  I didn't have to drink.  I did what I was told to do.

Every day when I wake up I decide to be sober and to do what is necessary to stay that way.  It usually involves some step work, a mtg and helping another drunk.

I don't know that I could live happily without having accepted my alcoholism and all it s consequences, but then again it's not about me.  Today it is about living a life that God would have me live.

I sincerely hope that you both find it within yourselves to be able to make a Good decision.  Being beaten by our addictions can be very painful.  Not everyone lives through it.

God Bless!!!

[dominosarah]

You have it in you to stay sober and really live.....Think about what we have said okay?  Keep posting~~sara

[Tab57]

I am glad to hear that you like being sober. Keep up the good work!

[Cici_xo]

I was forced into it after I got in a car accident and got my 3rd owi (one was an O2 violation so I was only charged with a 2nd owi. And since I was underage I was court ordered rehab and my p.o made it apart of my probation that I can't drink. I like being sober I do, I'm not getting into trouble anymore and its just a good feeling. I just need to dig deep and find the strength to not drink.