giving up

[Cici_xo]

I wanted to thank everyone who tried to help me stay sober. But, I have given up and been drinking again. As of right I'm not drinking like I used to but I have a feeling it won't be long but I'm tired of fighting it right now. I'm going to continue to stay on this site and read other stories to try to convince myself to get sober again. Thanks again everyone, I'm just weak.

[ibizan]

if we feed our brains negative self talk...this is too hard,i can't do it...i'm tired of trying then our brains cave in2 our words.every day doesn't stink...u've convinced urself it does!

[Cici_xo]

I'm trying. And randy, hiiiii! :P and I find the week days harder than the weekends. I drank more during the week, not saying i didn't drink a lot on the weekends. Every day stinks, now holidays are a different story. Those are really hard.  

[rpooo]

ATTA GIRL!!!

[ibizan]

cici- i knew in my heart of hearts at age 19 that i was alcoholic/dope addicted....but i put myself thru 9 more years of insanity b4 i AWOKE!try not to repeat after me girl!:)and i can c u r trying!rpoohbear-oh yes!we deemed friday and saturday as the nites to get obliterated and party like there was no 2 morrow......only to awake the next day and discover...w/ a huge hangover..that life was still life and all of yesterdays problems/issues were still there and us w/ a giant headache vowing to not repeat the drinking or again...telling ourselves the next time it would b different...we'd drink less and control it....only to again lose the control the next time around......and time and time again thereafter.....which brings us to now making the committment to ourselves on a daily basis to NOT repeat the past...one hour attta time....one day atta time!.

[rpooo]

Cici Girl,

I think your wonderful too and well worth spending time getting to know you to help get you on the right track! So it's friday night what's crappenin? ha ha Do you find it more difficult on the weekends? I always did. It would seem so weird not having a reason to get get hyped up about. So each friday we find something to do. Tonight we stayed home and threw darts and played crazy loud music. I have 6 stage speakers and nearly 7000 watts sometimes its fun to get a reaction from the neighbors! Plus I won two out of three so I had fun! I tried to let her win but I just couldn't get myself to do it! ha ha

Now its time for ice cream and computer so I wanted to check on you. I guess my point in mentioning all of this is that sometimes when it gets hard come up with something else to do. Something that you know has no chance to lead you into drinking. Your too smart for that and YOU deserve better. You said your good at making friends so call the ones that dont want to be out drinking. You can have more fun not drinking most of the time. People can then get to know the real you and thats a good thing. Oh and plus I wanted to say Hi.

Randy

[Cici_xo]

Randy, you definitely seem like a wonderful person and I am glad that I've gotten advice from you. Ibizan, I love getting comments from you, they make me smile and actually think for once. You two are great :) thanks again you guys