Please Help!

[suzi-q]

My brother in law is an alcoholic.  My sister is in total denial of this.  His poison is beer.  His personality changes so abruptly and he is a nasty drunk.  I am dreading Christmas at her house because I know he will be drinking and will be very mean to her.  He starts out fine until he gets a few in him.  He lies to her about his drinking and says he had 1 or 2.  Meanwhile, I know he has a private stash in the trunk of the car.  He always is running to the garage to "smoke a cigarette" or "throw out garbage".  On Thanksgiving at my house, my sister said he had a 2 beer max.  I know that he drank 4....but then we found an empty six pack in the garbage outside our house after they left.  I am sick with worry about my sister.  He drove home and she let him thinking he only had 2.  Should I tell my sister about this?  She doesn't see him as having a problem...she is in total denial and she is not good at confronting people.  I am just sick with worry for her and I now dread the holidays since he has entered the family.  My sister is so excited and makes everything so lovely and I sit there on pins and needles waiting for his wise comments.  My parents have both died 8 years ago and I do not have any other support.  Please give me advice.

[jo929]

just let your sister know that you are there for her she will soon know and just stay away if she asks why tell her then dont go around and make both of you misiberable your sister will worry you will worry  wait she will need you soon

lots of luck i know what a sister means especially now that mine is gone
lots luck     jo

[highwatchgregg]

MY PLEASURE FOR U KEEP THE FAITH

[suzi-q]

I will bring up alanon to my sister.  I think she needs a wake up call.  I may wait until after the holidays if I have enough nerve to do it. Thanks for the advice.  

[highwatchgregg]

you sound like a dynamite women with a tremendous heart!!!
with that being said denial is the key to fighting this disease!!! if i were you no matter how difficult it may be stay away from the situation for the holidays!!! even though its your sister there is agroup called allinon which helps women understand the alcholic husband its a very very strong networking group that can help big time!!!!  as you said its sometimes harder for the spouse top accept the fact that the one they love has this dis-ease guilt and remorse is a lack of self esteem and or fear!!!!


fondly ,
gregg