helpless...I think

[chichi677]

not sure if I will ever stop...now I am under a psy/addiction person and trying to cut down I admire those who can stop.
I have made terrible mistakes at work, my husband and I who are both alcoholic are still in love but no sex...bewildered.  i have stopped until the withdrawal happens( for 4 days) and feel great but then I am back drinking a liter of red wine a day or a half pint of vodka...I am screwed...really instead of cutting back I now am drinking more...Good Lord...any suggestions?

[dominosarah]

Put your pride aside and walk thru those doors again.  When you feel the urge to drink go back and read what amiragabrielle wrote.  That is your fate also, guaranteed.  Noone is exempt from this addiction.

amiragabrielle.....I am so sorry for your loss.  How very tragic.  I hope in time you will find comfort~

[ibizan]

I'm so sorry for your loss!:(your son made his own choices w/a numbed brain from the alcohol,giving no thought plus not being able to consider the pain upon those he would...and did leave behind!sigh!

[amiragabrielle]

Do give up!  I buried my son 1 week ago. He was an alcoholic and only 30 years old. Detox failed several times. His liver was already shutting down when I got him to the University Of Missouri Hospital in Columbia, MO. They did treat him aggressively for 12 days. Here's what I want you to listen to. DO NOT detox by yourself! It's to dangerous! There is a medication called Propofol. It goes through an IV. It put you in a sleep like state. DT's and other issues can be addressed while your in the hospital. Seek help, don't give up! God and I love you! ***@****

[ibizan]

i understand your shame........but they'd be happy to see you return...and that you're still alive!

[TTinKKerBBell]

You have no shame except what You put on YourSelf and nothing to be embarrassed for.  Many People return after periods of sobriety.  There is no such thing as 'recoverED' rather it is a constant state of 'recoveRY'.  You will never find more understanding and empathy from any other group than You will find in AA, totally  UNjudgemental.  They walk in Your shoes, and You in Theirs.

This too, I know is true.

[chichi677]

I have been through outpatient rehab about10 years ago and a requirement was to go to AA meetings...I met wonderful people there and this location is closest to me and was my home group...I am embarrassed/ashamed to go  back there.

[ibizan]

why do you avoid AA meetings?

[idk79]

For the first time I prayed to God tonight to please take me in his arms and guide me, I do not go to church, I wait tables, take care of my kids, and drink.. that's all I do. But alcohol is destroying my life.. I have the most beautiful children and lost as I am husband. I'm more lost than he is though. I'm trying to find myself and idk what to do. I can drink an eighteen pack and still keep on truckin.. I want to be the person that I know I can be.. but chin up buttercup.. you're great, that bottle is evil, let's break up with it... : )

[chichi677]

I have the big book and follow online communities but they are not working.  I was trying to avoid AA.

[chichi677]

Thanks I know this and I guess I was looking for a softer gentler way...I can not
Thank you for keeping it real
chi

[TTinKKerBBell]

I too read this a few times and I agree with ibizan.  You must be ready to make the COMMITMENT.

I also read Your previous posts and You were saying basically the same thing as long as a year ago.

You can't 'cut back' because You are addicted to alcohol.  Addiction is progressive and with time tolerance goes up - the body can tolerate more and more.  That's why You must stop entirely - you can't just 'cut back'. Alcohol is a poison and the body ends up craving the poison it is addicted to.  Smokers don't start out smoking one or two packs a day, heroin users don't start out with a 200$ a day habit and You didn't start out drinking a litre of red wine or a half a pint of vodka a day.  Alcohol is an addictive substance just like tobacco, heroin, meth or other drugs.  Your addiction has progressed and that progression WILL continue if You don't stop drinking entirely.  This I know is true.
I Wish You The Best Of Luck

[ibizan]

I've re-read 2x what you've written.....sounds like you aren't ready to make the COMMITTMENT to yourself to stop...AA says"we stop when we get damn sick n'tired of being sick n' tired"!!!!i've seen this to be true!happened to me 30 years ago and i it rings true for the folks i see hourly...daily...in my dayjob as substance abuse counselor!