im so sick of it help me

[juliek66]

my son 23 yrs old is horrible alcoholic. drinks every day. goes out looking for bottles for beer. he says he loves beer. he wont work , is very disrespectful, takes advantage of me, screws me over. he started drinking alot at 16-17. and has gotten worse over the years. wont go to work, has lost many good jobs cause he drink then dont go. now he is having seizures when he dosent drink his usual heave amount. my dad was alcoholic too and now i have to deal with it again. i have heart probs and have had bypass and stents, and diabities. i just wish he'd get better before i pass on........

[Tink70]

Kick his no good hiney out the door!  Do you really want to relive your father?  Yes, alcoholism is genetic and a disease but COME ON!  I know he is your baby boy and all but you aren't doing him any good by enabling him to be a drunk.  Draw a line in the sand, ma'am.  You are not responsible for him.  He is well over the legal age to be an adult and if he won't get help then you have no recourse.  KICK HIM OUT!  I have three children and am a recovering alcoholic.  I can GUARANTEE that if one of my boys was like yours - his hiney would be out so fast his head would swim.  You can't make a drunk get sober.  The DRUNK has to WANT to get sober!
Take Care
Tink

[PixieNYC]

"tough love", I meant (typo before!). But that is hard, I know.

[PixieNYC]

I know how horrible it must be for you. I am an alcoholic myself and have lost relationships (latest, my husband), all my money, many jobs, many friends etc  Anyway, your son needs to detox at a hospital, where they'll help him with the seizures, they are part of withdrawal. I luckily never had those, but I had very bad shakes, heard voices, trembeling, sweating, paranoia, horrible pancreas pains, you name it.

So he needs the hospital. They have to take him at the ER if he's having seizures! They have to even if he doesn't have insurance. There are also re-habs that can help him if he is uninsured. Anyway. They'll give him tranquilizers and potassium and vitamin B, which his body certainly is depleted of and he'll most likely will stay for five days or so to stabilize. Then the work starts, the hardest part. You need to either leaver this be, touch love or prepare to get further hurt. An alcoholic will do anything to get his/ hers booze! Anythin: steel, lie, hide the booze, lose anything to get it. Particularly when it has gotten to the point of PHYSICAL addiction, which is has in your son's case 8and definitely did in mine!). he aqlso needs to be informed by a doctor that his pancreas can rupture and then he'll die. he needs to get blood work done (they'll do it while he is detoxing) and start to eat b-vitamins and probably some meds to stifle the cravings, the mental ones. His body will be clean after the detox, even though he may have liver damage. I do, but if it hasn't gone too far, that is reversible if he STOPS drinking. It probably is reversible in hbis case since he is young. But you can't make up his mind! he needs to reach "rock bottom". But some people never do! he also may have an underlying depression or a depression caused by his drinking since alcohol is anatural depressant.

I could go on forever, but mainly, and harshly, you need to understand that noone but HIM can decide to at least TRY to do something! And that he has to WANT to do something! I WANT to get better, be healthy for ME, but I still do fall off the wagon, b ut at least I KNOW I want to try! He needs to start by getting the poison out of his system!

[rod44]

Hi juliek66
Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time with your son.
There is nothing you can do to stop him from drinking, when I was drinking I would chose drink above everything, that is the sad nature of this illness. Your son needs to be the one who wants to get better, who wants to change, this will not happen until he hits rock bottom. He sounds like he is on the slippery slope to the bottom when he is getting these seizures and unable to work ect.
As an alcoholic in recovery I can tell you from personal experence that when we are drinking we are the most selfish people on the planet.
Now you need to think of self…
It is time you took charge of what you can change in your life and let your son find his own path. For now at least.
Have you been to al-anon, they are a good support for people in your situation. Give it a try, you are not alone in this, look after yourself and get strong, your health must come first, you must come first, your son needs to deal with his problem not you.
I wish you the best and hope things work out for you and your son. Keep us updated.
rod44