Like the others say get to a detox. From there I suggest getting into some type of aftercare program. I personally have been through an Intensive Outpatient Program and continue to be active in AA. Alcoholism is a disease. We can't beat it on our own. God Bless!
When I was at my worst, I shook so bad, I couldn't write my name. I went to a detox facility for five days and came out sober. I've had relapses since, but never got to that point again. It can be very dangerous to detox from alcohol, so I would definitely consider going to detox--they have doctors and nurses who monitor you to make sure your heart rate and blood pressure are not going too high. And they give you meds to make it easier to get through this time. I hope you look into it.
You need to go to a treatment center for alcohol. 28 day program I highly recommend treatment centers you will not for get what you learn in treatment. Even if you slip and drink again you will no what to do from your treatment program. I went 2 times 28 day program. alcohol and drugs kept me in trouble with the law. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. You will meet people in treatment that are going through the same thing you are and want a better way of life There will be AA meetings and NA meetings to go to good food to eat, Treatment centers are taken good care of. You can do it. One day at a time.
Honey, I've been there. I know exactly where you are at right now, it's the point where you can't live with drinking and you can't live without it. When I was drinking I swore every morning I wasn't going to do it again, but like you said it's the only thing you know how to do to releive your symptoms. The way I got out of this rut was that I went to detox for 7 days, I had DT's, and they were miserable, but I was under medical supervision and I slowly got better. After I got out of detox, I went to treatment for a month, and I have been sober ever since. I have been sober for 6 months now. Life is so much better, you just have to start taking some steps to get out of this hole your in right now. You're not a POS, but you have a disease that there is treatment for and that you CAN recover from. You got to want to though, it's the only way.