Advice for dealing with a loved one's anxiety

[Jourtney]

Hi everyone! I read a lot of the posts on here to learn more about anxiety and the symptoms those with anxiety go through. My BF has anxiety and his symptoms sound like a lot of the things many of you talk about. I try to do everything I can and be as helpful as possible but he always tells me I won't understand because its not happening to me. I have a bachelors degree in psychology and minored in biology so I try to reason with him about what's going on and remind him that his anxiety affects a lot of things. He always gets upset and tells me that there is something really wrong and that when he dies everyone will be surprised and sad. When hes having issues he always tells me he's going to die. I really want to be able to help him and its so hard cause I really think a lot of his problems are anxiety related. We've gone to the ER, a cardiologist, wore a heart monitor, seen a regular doctor. Its really tough because I feel my patience slipping and I dont want that. I would really appreciate any advice.

[Jourtney]

Thank you everyone! I'm hoping getting a therapist and possibly psychiatrist involved will be good. I really want to help as much as I can and its to the point where I don't know what else to do and things just seem to be getting worse.

[Paxiled]

But you don't list a psychologist and therapy as a place he's gone.  Regular docs can't help well with this, and they and psychiatrists are all about drugs.  What he needs to try is to see what's happening and techniques to try and fix it, such as CBT.  As for you, just being you is all you can do, as that is apparently pleasing to him, but too much help and you're enabling and too little and you're callous.  It's hard to find the right balance.  What people suffering who aren't doing anything about it need is the shove to get help from those who specialize in providing that help.  Now, as to what most people do for us, the answer is, abandon us mostly, or try to ignore our illness.  It's the very rare case, which you read about but seldom see, where a friend or family member aggressively provides help getting help, which is what he needs, as the disease left untreated feeds on itself.    

[golden_age]

Hi. Have you ever though about the reason it was caused by? Ask him more detail about his  problem. You need to talk as much as possible. Maybe your husband needs to change your lifestyle, place? Wish you to solve this issue. Hope everything will be fine.  

[LilOne99]

When I'm having anxiety all I want my husband to do is listen. Sometime just hold me until I calm down. But to be honest he needs to be in thearpy to learn skills to help him cope when having anxiety attacks.

[Jourtney]

He has been diagnosed already. I am looking for advice on how to help him. If you could tell me what a family member does that helps you or things others do to help you that would be great.

[Paxiled]

Well, he needs to see a psychologist and get diagnosed, but it has to be his choice to do so.