Anxiety & Insecurity/Jealousy

[cherbeary]

I'm such a jealous and insecure person my boyfriend can't watch a program on tv without me accusing him of watching for the women and seductive situations.  I am totally out of control at 49 yrs old.  There are so many other what I should realize are "out there".   He can hardly look up without me thinking he's looking at someone.  I'm ruining our relationship and I've got to stop.  He has been nothing but complimentary and affectionate, caring, etc.  I have no reason to believe he'd ever hurt me.  He did at one time pretty much lead a playboy life but has not for a very long time.  We have been together 11 mos.

[beebouncy]

oh taht is so scary i totally understand all you are sayng becuase i am theere ,

i knwo that i will destroy my 2.5 years relationship becuase iof my insecruities he has never given me any reason to believe he has chaetaed or even considered it ,

please pm me we can crumble to gether ,.

praps its a mid 40 crisis lol

Barbie

[GettingOlder]

Two words - "honesty" and "trust" and they go hand in hand and pertain to each of you. If you both don't feel that you have those, perhaps some therapy or counseling would help. Best wishes!

[mammo]

Could it be that his past is haunting you now?  Men who are playboys, when they do settle down, they're settled!  They have sowed all their wild oats and are looking for that special someone for stability.  You have to have faith in who and what you are, and that it would be his loss should something happen.  Men will look, we look, it's only natural to notice an attractive person, but it doesn't mean we want any more than what we have.  If someone wants to cheat they will find a way no matter how closely you watch them.  So, it boils down to you learning to be confident in feeling...if they can get him, they can have him!  It's not being uncaring or too sure of yourself, it's about the love and respect our partners have in us, and we in them.  If they truly love us, nobody could get them away!  I think therapy would help you a lot with your jealousy, and insecurity.  I also think men enjoy a woman is confident in herself.  Your jealousy could drive him away and I know you don't want this.  He onviously sees many wonderful qualities in you, and you need to accept that you possess all this, and he cares very much for you.  He didn't have to settle down, he has chosen to, and with you!  Get some self-help books and find a therapist to help you with this. Stop selling yourself short.  I wish you all the best and take care!