Yes I totally understand, I have thoughts like this all the time. I feel like I am going crazy
I know exactly what you are saying. I have been a bit "high strung" my entire life, but in May of 08 I spiralled into severe anxiety and depression caused by it. I have no clear idea of why. I fought for months with anxiety, depression, scarey thoughts, muscle tensions, sleep issues, etc.etc. Now here is the GOOD PART.....After my first couple weeks of severe anxiety, I immeditately sought help with a psychologist and with self help material (Lucinda Basset's Attacking Anxiety). It actually made me more anxious at first, but it definitely works. We are anxious "mostly" because of how we think and how we "react" to our thoughts. Most of our thoughts are only that, just thoughts. they do not define us or label who we "really" are. It is the "fear" of these thoughts that makes us feel awful. I would suggest getting help (CBT, self-help, psychologist, etc.etc.) and follow through with the plan. Stay positive put in the time and feel yourself change! I am new at this also, and I do expect to have a bad time here or there. However, as each day goes by, I am getting better and better! YOU CAN AND WILL DO IT!
I feel the same way. This is my first time on this site and I'm a bit apprehensive, scared and ashame of what's happening to me.
In my opinion, this is very common when one suffers from anxiety. We tend to lose our identities and become beholden to it. I remember when I first had a panic attack...it absolutely floored me and sent me into a tailspin for months. I was scared, confused, and did not like who I become. Unfortunately, when this happens it often leads to depression among other things. So, this is a normal feeling when going through something like this. It does get better though; have you been talking about this with anyone? Expressing your fears, concerns, and questions and learning about this will help you get your identity back in my opinion...please keep us posted.