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Anxiety about kissing!
i had unprotected sex with my x-girlfriend. for the six months after that i had extremely horrible and scarry anxiety attacks about getting HIV. My tests all came back negative and clean but the whole situation made me so scared that i am going get HIV that i have trouble kissing women. there is a woman at work that is very interested in me but i am deathly afraid of kissing her. she keeps comming on to me but I told her that i didnt want to have sex with her just yet as we really dont knwo each other that well. this really bothers me because i feel that every women i see has some sort of disease, and that if i kiss them and there is a cut or soar in my mouth i will get sick. i feel like i will be alone for the rest of my life and that this fear will keep me from ever being intimate with another woman again. i knwo i need to talk to a profesional about it.
Well i was hanging out with that chick tonight from work and at the end of the night we were laying on her bed and talking. i started kissing her on the cheek and forehead and then i told her i was going home. she them asked me why i always kiss her on the head and i dont kiss her lips. then i thought to myself " THIS CHICK IS HOT, WHY THE HEL* NOT" So i made out with her. I need to break my STUPID OCD and anxiety. I can either sit there and let it control me or i can control it. i was talking to my mom about the whole getting diseased from a kiss and she said I was crazy, and i shoudl just not worry about it and have fun. So i did it and i feel great about it!!!!!
Dude, if you wont kiss her than send her my way!! Just kidding, but you know what, I was in the same situation and back off the same way. And she was HOT. I am so stupid. But it just goes to show you how bad these things get. The problem is that if you do suck it up and go for it, you may worry during and then have some performance issues. My advice, start the evening with some Jack Daniels and all will go well. Good luck.
you're right, you probably need to talk to a professional about getting over your irrational fear, but here are a few of my 2 cents:
1) Obviously you're being irrational with your anxieties, so you just have to keep reassuring yourself of that. True, there are small risks associated with kissing (although not much), and greater risks with sex, but if you practice safe sex there's really not much to worry about.
2) I know for a fact the mental anguish you are going through is worse than that of many people who actually HAVE contracted STDs. So your worrying over getting one, is not worth it.
3) There is virtually NO WAY to contract the HIV virus through kissing OR protected sex. The only way to get it from kissing is to swallow at least 1/2 cup of an infected woman's saliva, which, if you're doing that you need some kissing tips anyway! And condoms are 99% effective against HIV. And in the United States, only 182,822 women TO THIS DAY have been diagnosed with HIV - that's only 3%. So the chances that you have protected sex with an infected woman, and the condom doesn't manage to keep the HIV out, are basically impossible. In other words, use a condom and you'll be good :) if you don't want to trust that, just make sure every woman you sleep with gets tested first.
soo in conclusion, you are worrying for NO reason. But i'm sure you know that already, that's pretty much how we all work here in this forum. I just want to get it out of your head that you'll get HIV! cuz you won't as long as you're safe with it.
go kiss that lady at work! it's a challenge. just a peck maybe (unless of course you can handle more) to get over a little at a time. but i hereby challenge you to kiss her and come back and let me know when you do because i guarantee that will help you big time (and NOT hurt you!)
good luck!!
1) Obviously you're being irrational with your anxieties, so you just have to keep reassuring yourself of that. True, there are small risks associated with kissing (although not much), and greater risks with sex, but if you practice safe sex there's really not much to worry about.
2) I know for a fact the mental anguish you are going through is worse than that of many people who actually HAVE contracted STDs. So your worrying over getting one, is not worth it.
3) There is virtually NO WAY to contract the HIV virus through kissing OR protected sex. The only way to get it from kissing is to swallow at least 1/2 cup of an infected woman's saliva, which, if you're doing that you need some kissing tips anyway! And condoms are 99% effective against HIV. And in the United States, only 182,822 women TO THIS DAY have been diagnosed with HIV - that's only 3%. So the chances that you have protected sex with an infected woman, and the condom doesn't manage to keep the HIV out, are basically impossible. In other words, use a condom and you'll be good :) if you don't want to trust that, just make sure every woman you sleep with gets tested first.
soo in conclusion, you are worrying for NO reason. But i'm sure you know that already, that's pretty much how we all work here in this forum. I just want to get it out of your head that you'll get HIV! cuz you won't as long as you're safe with it.
go kiss that lady at work! it's a challenge. just a peck maybe (unless of course you can handle more) to get over a little at a time. but i hereby challenge you to kiss her and come back and let me know when you do because i guarantee that will help you big time (and NOT hurt you!)
good luck!!
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