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Anxiety help..?
I'm almost at a loss here. I'm sixteen, and I've been having anxiety issues since I was 12, and I don't know how to handle it anymore.. In the beginning, if I just kind of let it play out, it would be done in a minute or so. It was quick.
Now..? It just lingers there. Before and everything, it would generally only hit me if I was alone or something.. But since around last year, I started getting anxiety attacks when I was just hanging out with friends or at school.
It's like I'm not me. I get that in depressed, and for no reason but I am. There are these.. Times, where I'll fall so deep into it that I'm not myself, but rather dis-attached from myself and trapped behind a haze that I cant push through. The 'me' that I'm watching I have no control over. It's calm, but at the same time not, because I can feel that tightness in my chest and I want to scream and just break out!
I'm afraid that person is who I'm becoming.. It's like I'm numb, all the time. I feel disgusted with myself when I have to talk with friends and be animated, when really, I'm not feeling the emotions I'm portraying. But acting like some dead doll isn't proper so I have to act.
I've never been good with emotions anyway, even when I was little. I couldn't show excitment. To me, it was just this knot in my chest that was something like happiness and nervousness and I didn't know how to handle it, so I would try an emulate what I saw others do. Smile, jump a bit, and act hyper. It was awkward and still is. Happiness? Something that's almost warm and like contentment, but faster. You smile and hug and show your grateful.
At least before I felt it. Now it's..like a shadow. It's like it burns out in the surface and keeps me warm- too warm -- on the inside but it's not the same burning of emotions. It's hollow and gaping and fire burns around the hole. It leaves me 'hating' people. Not being able to stand them. But my mind tells me I do, so I try and pretend I'm normal.
I don't know if that even made sense. I just want this hollow feeling gone. I can think positive until The end of time, but it doesn't make that feeling go away. It doesn't keep me from when the short bursts of pain that come with me losing myself within an anxiety attack. I just.. I want to be me again.
Now..? It just lingers there. Before and everything, it would generally only hit me if I was alone or something.. But since around last year, I started getting anxiety attacks when I was just hanging out with friends or at school.
It's like I'm not me. I get that in depressed, and for no reason but I am. There are these.. Times, where I'll fall so deep into it that I'm not myself, but rather dis-attached from myself and trapped behind a haze that I cant push through. The 'me' that I'm watching I have no control over. It's calm, but at the same time not, because I can feel that tightness in my chest and I want to scream and just break out!
I'm afraid that person is who I'm becoming.. It's like I'm numb, all the time. I feel disgusted with myself when I have to talk with friends and be animated, when really, I'm not feeling the emotions I'm portraying. But acting like some dead doll isn't proper so I have to act.
I've never been good with emotions anyway, even when I was little. I couldn't show excitment. To me, it was just this knot in my chest that was something like happiness and nervousness and I didn't know how to handle it, so I would try an emulate what I saw others do. Smile, jump a bit, and act hyper. It was awkward and still is. Happiness? Something that's almost warm and like contentment, but faster. You smile and hug and show your grateful.
At least before I felt it. Now it's..like a shadow. It's like it burns out in the surface and keeps me warm- too warm -- on the inside but it's not the same burning of emotions. It's hollow and gaping and fire burns around the hole. It leaves me 'hating' people. Not being able to stand them. But my mind tells me I do, so I try and pretend I'm normal.
I don't know if that even made sense. I just want this hollow feeling gone. I can think positive until The end of time, but it doesn't make that feeling go away. It doesn't keep me from when the short bursts of pain that come with me losing myself within an anxiety attack. I just.. I want to be me again.
Any hospital can direct you to therapists that see adolesent patients. All hospitals have PHONES... If you call the local hospital, or hotline (of any kind) YOU CAN GET HELP.
I would have issues with someone telling you there is no appropriate help available.
If you call 911, and say "I NEED HELP>>>I FEEL LIKE HURTING MYSELF" they will come and get you, and bring you to the hospital to get help.
I would have issues with someone telling you there is no appropriate help available.
If you call 911, and say "I NEED HELP>>>I FEEL LIKE HURTING MYSELF" they will come and get you, and bring you to the hospital to get help.
Thanks to everyone who commented; it means a lot. I'm actually having to take online classes my last two years of high school; and the only counselor they have is an academic advisory one. My mom... Kinda/sorta knows about this and she tried getting me to see someone a month it so ago but aparently there aren't any people beside faith counselors that will take adolescence here. ..
Hi there,
You need to seek help! My story is very similar to you. Im 17, except ive been struggling with anxiety since I was a toddler but ive been depressed for about 5 years. I never ever sought out help and I always 'put on the act' with friends and family. It got sooo bad that I cut myself too. My knees and wrists are covered with scars. Look, you need to seek help before it gets too bad becuase you absolutly dont need to feel this way and you SHOULDNT feel this way. You are young, we both are. You have your whole life ahead of you, and just because of all the stuggles that your going through now, your going to turn out a stonger and more self-aware adult. That is what I've figured out. I think you should talk to a doctor. Medication and therapy together can be really powerful. I just started all this not even a year ago and have gotten great results. I am in therapy and the medication Pristiq. After 15 years of severe SEVERE anxiety..I can proudly say that it is 90-95% gone. However, the depression is still there but im still working on that. Medication helps get rid of the symptoms while therapy gets to the root of your problem and builds you back up. Like you, I feel like I have no reason to be depressed. But trust me, therapy and meds can really help you. And I think you should see help becuase your too young to feel this way.
You need to seek help! My story is very similar to you. Im 17, except ive been struggling with anxiety since I was a toddler but ive been depressed for about 5 years. I never ever sought out help and I always 'put on the act' with friends and family. It got sooo bad that I cut myself too. My knees and wrists are covered with scars. Look, you need to seek help before it gets too bad becuase you absolutly dont need to feel this way and you SHOULDNT feel this way. You are young, we both are. You have your whole life ahead of you, and just because of all the stuggles that your going through now, your going to turn out a stonger and more self-aware adult. That is what I've figured out. I think you should talk to a doctor. Medication and therapy together can be really powerful. I just started all this not even a year ago and have gotten great results. I am in therapy and the medication Pristiq. After 15 years of severe SEVERE anxiety..I can proudly say that it is 90-95% gone. However, the depression is still there but im still working on that. Medication helps get rid of the symptoms while therapy gets to the root of your problem and builds you back up. Like you, I feel like I have no reason to be depressed. But trust me, therapy and meds can really help you. And I think you should see help becuase your too young to feel this way.
Hi there,
At sixteen, You are probably still in High School. It sounds like something you need to talk about with a therapist. There is sure to be someone at school, that can get you connected with a therapist... The nurse is a good contact person.
It would seem to me to make sense that, at 16, you have physical changes going on in your body, that could affect your mood.
Plus High School can be so..... yuk. One of the meanest experiences in my life... (Not that adults are much better.)
There can be alot of pressure on kids to make decisions about college or what you want to do with the rest of your life.
Really, how can they expect kids to know what they want, with no real experience. And then we tell you, you have to get an expensive education... blah blah blah.
One of the things that was most useful to me was... a job. I know that sounds cliche, but it does help to be with people, and to have something to focus on. Even if it is mowing lawns, or shoveling snow, or 10 hours a week at the mini mart. My daughter got a job at the grocery store, bagging groceries when she was 15. She seemed to enjoy the independence.
Then she got a job at Friendly's (ice cream/sandwich shop), and learned how to work. She waitressed her way through nursing school. But it took a year or two after high school, for her to decide she did not want to work at Friendly's for the rest of her life...
Her BF was stuggling with "issues", and I got him to therapy.
He got a job washing dishes. He eventually bartered himself into a mower and a plow. Then he started his own business doing landscaping, and snowplowing. He continued washing dishes, until his business got off the ground. Now they are married, she is an RN and he has his business, they are in their mid 20's, and own a nice house and are working to pay off all their debt.
I guess my point is, that it is easy to get stuck. It is easy to withdraw. But doing those things will not make anything better.
Some things we cannot do on our own. Asking for help, is the first and hardest part. Once you have help and guidance, you will feel more confident, and things will gradually get better.
I am wondering if you can talk to your parents? Parents are usually happy to see you succeed, but are not always good at saying that.
The feelings you have described are not weird, or unknown. I have had similar feelings. I have PTSD from childhood abuse. I was unaware that the "burning" feeling was not the norm, or my thoughts filled with pain. I did not seek help, because I did not know there was help.
Once I found a therapist that helped me, I have been making constant improvement.
My suggestion is to seek help NOW while you are young, and your problems are less incredably complicated with things like kids, and mortgage, and job... blah blah blah.
I would suggest watching the movie "What the BLEEP Do We Know". It was a life changing movie for me... for alot of people.
At sixteen, You are probably still in High School. It sounds like something you need to talk about with a therapist. There is sure to be someone at school, that can get you connected with a therapist... The nurse is a good contact person.
It would seem to me to make sense that, at 16, you have physical changes going on in your body, that could affect your mood.
Plus High School can be so..... yuk. One of the meanest experiences in my life... (Not that adults are much better.)
There can be alot of pressure on kids to make decisions about college or what you want to do with the rest of your life.
Really, how can they expect kids to know what they want, with no real experience. And then we tell you, you have to get an expensive education... blah blah blah.
One of the things that was most useful to me was... a job. I know that sounds cliche, but it does help to be with people, and to have something to focus on. Even if it is mowing lawns, or shoveling snow, or 10 hours a week at the mini mart. My daughter got a job at the grocery store, bagging groceries when she was 15. She seemed to enjoy the independence.
Then she got a job at Friendly's (ice cream/sandwich shop), and learned how to work. She waitressed her way through nursing school. But it took a year or two after high school, for her to decide she did not want to work at Friendly's for the rest of her life...
Her BF was stuggling with "issues", and I got him to therapy.
He got a job washing dishes. He eventually bartered himself into a mower and a plow. Then he started his own business doing landscaping, and snowplowing. He continued washing dishes, until his business got off the ground. Now they are married, she is an RN and he has his business, they are in their mid 20's, and own a nice house and are working to pay off all their debt.
I guess my point is, that it is easy to get stuck. It is easy to withdraw. But doing those things will not make anything better.
Some things we cannot do on our own. Asking for help, is the first and hardest part. Once you have help and guidance, you will feel more confident, and things will gradually get better.
I am wondering if you can talk to your parents? Parents are usually happy to see you succeed, but are not always good at saying that.
The feelings you have described are not weird, or unknown. I have had similar feelings. I have PTSD from childhood abuse. I was unaware that the "burning" feeling was not the norm, or my thoughts filled with pain. I did not seek help, because I did not know there was help.
Once I found a therapist that helped me, I have been making constant improvement.
My suggestion is to seek help NOW while you are young, and your problems are less incredably complicated with things like kids, and mortgage, and job... blah blah blah.
I would suggest watching the movie "What the BLEEP Do We Know". It was a life changing movie for me... for alot of people.
Are you on medication for this? It sounds like you're depressed, and no amount of pretending will help that. Depression is like any other medical condition that needs medical attention. You deserve a happy life!! It sounds like you've just been going thru life like a puppet, trying to act appropriately. I don't know how you've managed to do this, you must be very strong. Know you're not alone, we care and understand and are always here for you. Depression robs us of so much, please seek help with a psychiatrist so you can have the life you deserve, and no more pretending. There is so much help, please take advanage of it. I wish you all the best and take care of YOU!
I've ended up hurting myself countless times in the middle of these anxiety attacks. My arm and leg are littered with everr growing scars. I don't want to keep doing that. ...
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