Anxiety or OCD?

[AnxiousMC]

Hi,

Ever since I can remember, I have always needed to have my arm tickled before bed. My mother used to do it to me as a child and now that I'm older, I've asked partners to do it to me. I always want to have the feeling of light movements on my skin. It sounds weird, but I do it to myself almost every night. I lightly rub my own arms, my chest, my neck, hands and my feet. I even have a particular way/pattern of doing it. I feel like this is more than just enjoying a feeling but I have no idea if I am articulating the question I need answers to. I've read about stiffing, but I am not sure if that's what is happening. I have also read about autism which I am fairly sure I don't have. I do have anxiety and depression, though not diagnosed by a doctor and even though I have my "ocd" peeves, I wouldn't consider myself to have ocd. I believe I suffer from separation anxiety due to an  absent and addicted single mother and I spent the last 9 years overcoming an eating disorder so is there a mental aspect perhaps? I've often thought I might equate the feeling to memories I have of my mother soothing me To the feeling of having that soft touch, so is that where this is coming from?

I have no idea and nobody to relate to.

[LilacLotus]

It seems to me that it's probably linked to your absent single mother. I'm no expert, but it makes sense to me that you would be subconsciously trying to recreate that feeling of safety and comfort that you found in your mother's presence when going to sleep as a child. I believe this is fairly common among people who have separation anxiety, but, as I said, I'm not an expert, so I don't know for sure.

[Paxiled]

If this works for you, it's not much of a problem to have.  Why worry about it?  We've all got rituals in this world that get us through the day.  I'd just accept this one about yourself as it isn't doing you any harm and appears to be doing you some good.  As to your other potential issues, if you feel a need to pursue them a psychologist is the place to go, but I'd only do that if you have significant disruptions in your life.