Anxiety w/ Depersonalization.. Please Read!

[l_niessen]

Hi All....

This is my story.. so far.

In 2001 I was 18 years old. Doing the regular partying things, and then I started 'dabbling' in some hard drugs, meth, coke - you name it..

I realized about 3 months in that I would start to have a problem if I didn't do anything about it. My parents urged me to talk to my GP so I did.  Long story short, he said it was to do with depression, prescribed some welbutrin and I was on my way.

I started taking welbutrin (don't remember dosage) and maybe a week or so later decided to go out with my friends. I made a really bad decision and did mushrooms that night.  I had done them before with no real problem, but that night I was harsh hallucinating, things were repeating themselves over and over, etc.. I landed in the hospital and within a couple hours I was fine again.

Apparently I didn't learn my lesson because maybe a week or two after that, I smoked a little pot. Walking home, I had the worst panic attack of my entire life!  I even screamed in the street. Since that day, I have not touched ANYTHING drug or drug related.  It's ridiculous, but I'm even scared to have a glass of wine!  I ended up going back to my GP and he prescribed 20 mg of Paxil daily.

Unfortunately, since then the panic attacks have not stopped... at all.   Mostly in public places, the mall or large outdoor spaces.. I can't even walk down the street.  The most comfortable place is home for me.  

Most of my symptoms are the feeling that nothing is real.. the world isn't real, etc... I'm starting to wonder if I now have DPD? I've been getting alot of that feeling lately, and having 4 children.... it *****.  I feel like I can't even take care of them properly... does anyone else suffer from depersonalization? Even when I start to get the dp feeling that brings on the panic attack.  

Has anyone else suffered this way? I'm at my wits end... Scared.

[dominosarah]

Hi, i am sara and i am on the substance abuse forum.  When was the last time you did drugs, other than the ones you are prescribed?  Meth,coke and shrooms are very nasty drugs that will create panic, paranoia and depersonalization.   When they are mixed with other meds disaster can happen.  Even weed will create these feelings.  Drug use stems from something much deeper.  Have you talked with your doctor about the drug use?  If we can be of any help please feel free to come and visit our forum~~sara

[plomeli]

Hello there I found your question. You know unfortunately I don't have an answer about depersonalization, but I think that you should seek help especially if you have kids. I have 3 of my own and have health related anxiety and it is just absolutely the worst thing ever because it robs you of your peace of mind. I did have an experience after binge drinking once that caused me to et severe anxiety for 2 whole months, it was reallllll bad I couldnt eat sleep lost 15lbs. I drank A LOT and the next morning I was sooo dizzy and felt like my body would violently spin around. Like if someone would get me by the hair and spin me around really fast. Needless to say I was dizzy for like a month and that just went from one thing to another. I was horrible. I have read drugs and alcohol can do this. Well sorry I can't be of more help. But reach out so that you can be there for your kids, they need you. Take care.

[nursegirl6572]

Um, no....we answer questions when we get to them.  All of us here volunteer our time helping others out...and the vast majority of posters are brand new and they get their questions answered.  We all have jobs, families, and other responsibilities.  We try to address questions as quickly as possible.  Sometimes it takes a little while, so please be patient.

It most certainly sounds like depersonalization and/or derealization, but have you been evaluated by a doctor?  The best thing to do in this case is seek out the help of a psychiatrist who can properly assess you and give you an accurate diagnosis.  Then, you can discuss treatment options, which may include meds and/or therapy.  

While unsettling, DP/DR, it will not harm you.  No one can say for sure whether or not the drug use triggered your panic (a common occurence), and really, the cause is not as important at this point as the treatment.  You've been struggling with this for a while, and it's time to get help.  Search the forum about DP/DR, there are posts and journals about it...I think it will give you peace of mind.  Good luck!

Welcome to Medhelp, hang in there!!

[l_niessen]

I guess you have to be in some sort of clique in here with tons of friends before people will actually read and answer your questions?