Refuses to take medication

[AuntKayKay]

My father, who is 86, is a brilliant man who retired in his 70's from a successful career as a university professor and Economist. He carried Xanax around in his pocket for decades for anxiety attacks. Back then the pills would usually just crumble to dust from being carried around so long; he didn't need to actually take them. Now, however, he has been experiencing panic attacks with just about every symptom 3 or 4 times a day: restless, irritable, nausea, difficulty breathing, heart pounding, chest pain, tremors, sweating, hot and cold flashes. He has frequent insomnia, and it is getting impossible to get him out of the house. He has reactive hypoglycemia, glaucoma, and allergies to msg, all of which contribute to his anxiety about going out (will he get food, will the food make him sick, will he be able to see...). His short term memory is going. He had a mild stroke 3 years ago, and still has some weakness on his right side but otherwise he is in great physical shape. He takes only glaucoma medication and an aspirin. He is supposed to take .25mg Xanax 3 times a day for the anxiety, but won't do it. When he has panic attacks he is convinced he is having a stroke, a heart attack, low blood sugar or an allergic reaction, and thinks it is triggered by the food, the water, the air, the cat. At first I would take him to the hospital each time a frightening new symptom presented, but now, having gone through several hundred of these attacks with him, I can usually tell when they are coming on. I have to bully thim to take 1/2 a xanax tablet when an attack is coming on, and several times a week have to humor him by driving him 8 miles to the hospital where we usually leave after a little waiting room therapy. It is getting so bad that he cannot be left alone, so I had to quit working to care for him, and don't get nuch help from others, in part because for all of the hateful things he says when he's having another anxiety attack, he wants only me to take care of him. Obviously this can't go on for ever. Today was a good day. He refusted to take his madicine, but had only one attack, and when it started kept insisting that we should wait to see if he got better on his own, but gave in without more than a few minutes of arguing. I suspect one of the underying causes of his anxiety is that he had an older sister who was addicted to pain medication, and he is really afraid that would happen to him, so he won't take any medicine except his eyedrops without a major struggle -- even the aspiirin or a vitamin. Also the memory loss is worrisome to him. He's been seing the same doctor (an internist) for over 10 years. When we discuss the problem with anxiety attacks, the doctor just says to him "You have to take your medicine 3 times a day!" which of course is no help since he doesn't remember going to the doctor, much less what he tells him. Any suggestions? Do you think a change in his primary care physician is in order, to find someone more used to treating Alzheimers and anxiety? He hasn't had to see his neurologist for quite awhile, but should I make an appointment with him, and have him suggest a geriatric specialist? Can counselling/therapy for anxiety help someone who can't remember the sessions?

[RubyWitch]

I am sorry that your father has Alzheimers. It is such a horrible disease. I work in a hospital and see so many people, just like you, struggling to do the right thing for their parent. I would never presume to say I know what you're going through, but I've seen the sorrow, the tears, the exhaustion and the frustration. Often there is anger as well, and that is normal. You need to get some help before YOUR health starts to suffer.
It may be a good idea to find a doctor who specializes in Geriatrics. I'm sure the doctor your father has seen for the past 10 years is a good one, but I don't think a Geriatric specialist would deal with your dads anxiety but saying, "You have to take your meds three times a day!" Which, as you said, does absolutely no good because he won't even remember seeing the doctor, let alone what he told him.
Once you find a good Geriatric doctor for your dad, I think it will good not only for him, but for you. He and his staff will have numerous resources for you to call on for help. And there IS a great deal of help and support out there, you just need to know how to find it..........which you will. I strongly urge you to find a support group. I think you could benefit from it now more than you know and as time marches on, you will need it even more. So many family members have told me their support group "saved their lives" and became "like family."
I hope I have given you some ideas to ponder. I think the most important thing I said was that you must take care of yourself and you must do so without guilt.
I wish you and your father peace on this final journey together.
Greenlydia