Can Damage Ativan Does To The Brain Be Repaired?

[quentincollin]

Does anybody out there know if there's any way to reverse damage Ativan does to your brain?  I have been on it for about 10 years...took 1 milligram three times a day.....was taken off them.....but now I have tension headaches
ALL THE TIME....any slightest worry or certain...worsens them...I can literally feel the muscles in my brain tighten when this happens.  I can't enjoy things I got excited about.....liking watching TV or going to movies without having
MAJOR to die for headaches that are SO BAD you wouldn't believe me!!  

I know now that the biggest mistake I made in my life was taking these pills.  I have actually swallowed poison
and feel like a condemned man.  I knew that I can get relief by taking them again but that will only make things
worse in the long run...This stuff actually destroys brain cells....brain cells that were there to handle the stress..
with each dose taken I am destroying life in my brain.

I wish the doctors had bothered to tell me what these drugs ACTUALLY did.  

I don't want to live like this anymore.......I can't enjoy life at all....the only part of the day I look forward to is
bedtime when hopefully I can get some sleep.

Is there any hope for me?  I don't want to die...but then I don't want to live this way......If this is way this is
going to be for me....I want to go to sleep forever......

"quentin"

[quentincollin]

I went and researched the area of PSW and noticed that they list about 5 types of PSW but I don't see any listings for what I am undergoing which are the MASSIVE headaches and the easy why my brain muscles suddenly tense up and make the headaches worse.

Any thoughts on this, anybody?

[quentincollin]

Thanks for your comments. Much appreciated.   One question: you say that my brain will get back to normal.  Can you tell me HOW it does this?

And how did you survive during those times you were recovering?

[nursegirl6572]

Hon, like I said before, you have to try to let go of convincing everyone that what you're dealing with is due to the Ativan.  Well, not everyone, but your therapist doesn't have to be on board with what you're saying.  PWS is not a widely accepted syndrome as it is, as paxiled said, and you ARE going to have a hard time convincing people.  Sorry, but that's the way it is.

Plus, to be 100% honest, there's NO way for ANYONE to confirm or rule out the Ativan as the culprit.  Even we're just making deductions on what makes sense.  Also, minus the possible medication approach, you're going to address this as anxiety no matter what, because a lot of your symptoms I'm sure are due to anxiety....so try not to get caught up trying to convince everyone the Ativan is the culprit.  You're just causing yourself more frustration.  The CAUSE becomes less important than the modality treatment at this point, in regards to the therapy portion of your treatment.

Of course, finding a DOCTOR with experience in treating people on benzos is important, as they would be the one to try different things, medication wise.  Therapy wise, as long as you're being taught ways to cope with the anxiety, you'll benefit.

Like we all said too, this will take time.  It's FAR too soon to make any determinations about anything, even the PWS in my opinion, as you still are adjusting to not having the Ativan on board.  Like I said before, even the seizure risk lingers for 4-6 weeks from a cold turkey discontinuation, which tells you just how long it takes for the medication to be out of your system completely, and then for your mind and body to adjust.  You said you've been off the Ativan completely for 2-3 months.  That's not a long time (I know it feels like a lifetime).  It's hard to determine a difference between severe rebound panic/anxiety and PWS.  I would venture a guess you're dealing with both.  But again, stop trying so hard to get everyone on board.  The person who needs to be on board with at least considering that the Ativan w/d is the cause is the doctor.  That's it for starters....the rest you can deal with down the line.

You WILL get better.  I know it's hard, but you must give this time, and TRY to be patient.  If you feel you want to find a new therapist, based on your last session, that's up to you, but again, I think you should put less importance on trying to convince your therapist of your theory that everything you're dealing with is related to the Ativan.  Just utilize the therapist to help you....ask for things you can do to help treat the anxiety.  I do agree with paxiled that the therapist could have been a little more open minded, or even appear to be.  If that rubbed you the wrong way, then certainly seek out a new therapist.

Start looking for a psychiatrist who knows benzos.  This may take some time, you need to  start calling around.  Be very specific on the phone when you call different doctor's offices that you need a doctor who is knowledgeable about benzos, and benzo w/d.  Tell them that is an absolute MUST.  It may take some trial and error to find one who really will be a good fit for you.  Like I said, try the teaching hospitals in your area.

There's always the option of seeking out an inpatient stay to possibly get you stabilized a little better, and start on some more intensive therapy, and maybe a new medication regimen.  You sound very much in crisis mode.  If that's the case, then a brief hospitalization may be what you need.  If you feel that would be appropriate, call around to your local psychiatric facilities, and explain your situation, and that you're not doing well...not coping, and are dealing with debilitating symptoms.  Worst case scenario, you can always head to the ER if you feel you need urgent help.  They will then evaluate you for a psych admission.  Try to go to a hospital that has a good psych program, not all of them do.  An actual psych hospital is your best bet.

Good luck, keep us posted!!

[cnote]

I have not read every comment on here. But, stated above, I have been through ativan withdrawal.

Your story is like MANY MANY other peoples. It's sad the Dr's don't tell you every possible scenario when taking these drugs.

I'm not a Dr. but I've heard it a million times from other people, they started taking it for insomnia, NOT anxiety... and then down the road they start having ANXIETY symptoms... The most typical reason is b/c they were slowly becoming intolerant to the drug... the drugs tolerance withdrawal symptom IS ANXIETY. And yes, it can be scary. I've been there.

BUT! Again, the good news is, IT WILL GET BETTER! It can take 6-12 months typically to get through it. There can be waves of good and bad times. But you'll make it.

I'm surprised they cut you cold turkey. You are passed the time frame, but many people get seizures the 1st week they are off when going off cold turkey.

If you are struggling that bad, I would suggest seeing a therapist, who specializes in benzos and benzo withdrawal. That's what I did. This therapist gave me Remeron/Mirtazapine, while I slowly withdrew from ativan.

I then withdrew from Remeron. It helped a lot with the insomnia that I was experiencing from the Ativan withdrawal.

Ativan withdrawal symptoms for me were the following:

fear, anxiety, insomnia, no appetite, bad butterflies in stomach, ringing in the ears, dizzy spells.... the list goes on and on. It sucked, but I was a trooper and made it. Now life is amazing again! I've been off that stuff for over 2 years now! Whoohoo!

And to ease your fears, it has not been proven for ativan or benzos to permanently affect your brain.

The reason why we have withdrawal, is b/c the brain chemistry has been changed for 10 years while taking Ativan.

So, it's not going to go back to it's normal brain pattern over night. It will take time for your own brain to get back to it's NORMAL chemistry. This can take 6-12 months.

Good luck! YOU WILL MAKE IT! I PROMISE. :)

See a Dr. or a Therapist if you need to get back on and ween off slowly. Otherwise just hang on and ride it out. :)

[Paxiled]

Your question wasn't directed at me, but I ran into this problem with the psychiatrist who botched my Paxil cessation.  I've never run into a psychiatrist, let alone a therapist who doesn't deal in drugs, who's ever heard of protracted withdrawals or who wants to know about them.  But with a therapist, any therapist who doesn't believe what you tell them, well, they could be right, but they're also demonstrating a lack of basic listening ability.  Which means, might be time to either go on the Google and research Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome and print it out for your therapist and show them the research on how benzos are thought to affect the brain's ability to learn to adapt to stress, or find a different therapist who will trust what you tell them.  I've been down this road with psychiatrists, but I don't expect much from doctors, but I wouldn't take it from a therapist.  Therapists usually listen and deal with what they're told, because, in the end, they weren't there and have no idea where truth lies.  Psychiatrists, on the other hand, simply refuse to deal with the problems drugs pose because that's how they make their living and they're terrified of being sued.  The ones who do know about this the best are specialists in treating addicts, which is where the research on protracted withdrawals comes from.

[quentincollin]

Well, I did what you suggested and had another therapy session.  But once more I hit the same roadblock that I have before.  The therapist wouldn't agree that my situation today is the result of the Ativan.  How am I supposed to put my trust in a therapy session if that person doesn't know EXACTLY what is going on with me and what to do about it?  I truly believe that I need to find that person.  You suggested I find someone who really knows about benzos and how they work.  I want to find someone who KNOWS what happened to me and WHY.  And what to do about it.  I need this because I need to know if there is help for me..

Please help....I feel so alone here...and so miserable.....