Adult Son Troubles

[bluesneakerdog]

I totally understand what it's like to have an adult son who mistreats you.  I brought this on myself.  The question is, how to extricate myself?  He doesn't regulate his emotions & flies off the handle at the drop of a hat.  As much as I love him, I have no wish to be around him.  No matter how I draw the boundaries, he shows up on my doorstep to make my life miserable.

My new husband who is older than is in pain over my abnormal relationship with my son. If I could live with myself, I'd do just about anything to excise my son from my life.  This doesn't mean I don't love him.    If he's in a bad mood, he is capable of calling me a "fck--ing *****."  I don't know how I got here, but the point is, I need out.  Any suggestions?

[Rich99]

Has your son abused alcohol or any other drugs?      If so you are actually confronting these drugs (taking over his personality) and not your son.     Only he can come forward with the truth and then others near and dear to him can attempt to find him help (if he's willing).

[waheed38]

call your son and discuss with him in presence of your new husband and if you call some friends it will help you to get out of your problem

[29sillygirl]

You know what to do.  You said as much.....'I need out'.   Disengage.  Any therapist will tell you the same thing.

I have done this with my oldest son.  His phone calls go to my voice mail.  And he better not show up on my doorstop.   After awhile, even a long suffering mom has to draw the line and then stick to it.

I have verbal boundaries.  If his former wife tells me upsetting things I don't sleep or fall back into agoraphobic fears.  So I have to be tough and tell her not to call me with ghastly news.

If there were anything you could do to change this, it would have already happened.

He needs help.  You have a husband.  Form a united front.  Abuse is unacceptable.