Come A Long Way! ~ Still A Ways to Go!

Well, since my run in with this anxiety disorder in September which put me through every kind of hell imaginable, it seems as though I've done alot of growing and shrinking as well. Sounds paradoxical right? Well, it might be.

In September 2010, I was 408 pounds. I was the biggest unhealthy eater you'd probably ever seen. I'd eat everything fried, fast food, loaded with butter, smothered with gravy, sour cream, processed foods, hydrogenated oils, you name it.

Well, a friend of ours died of a massive heart attack at the age of 46, and mortality hit me right between the eyes. Anxiety set in, and I was scared to death that a heart attack was waiting for me around the corner with my excessive weight, bad dietary habits, as well as physical habits. I've never smoked nor drank, but at 408 pounds eating every unhealthy thing known to man while laying or sitting around all day, I doubt that mattered.

The symptoms began to set in, skipped heartbeats (some of which were so strong and forceful, they'd cause me to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out.), tension headaches, hotness in my chest and back, insomnia, random chest, back, and neck pain, tachycardia, you name it.

I went from doctor to doctor, therapist to therapist, and they all wanted to medicate me. I tried xanas 0.5mg, and quickly built a tolerance to that. XR didn't work either, so after doing some research, I decided drugs wasn't the right course.

I suffered for a couple months after the first massive panic attack which seemed to set everything off, and then as things started to calm down, I suddenly had a second massive panic attack, and the symptoms came back stronger than ever, the worst being the skipped heartbeats (PVCS). I was once again put through the ringer to the point where I contemplated suicide, but I held on, and braved through it, and now, 7 months later, most of the symptoms are behind me (I still get a rare skipped beat every now and then) and I've come from 408 pounds to 264 pounds!

I should feel great right? On top of the world! I accomplished the impossible.

Well, now I've got a great deal of food anxiety. With my fear of my body turning against me, and all the horror stories I've heard about foods and preservatives and whatnot, I am always on edge when I have to eat something that I think may not be the best thing for me, whether it has a significant amount of dietary cholesterol, saturated fat, sodium, or what have you. Doesn't stop me from eating. I in no way shape or form starve myself. LOL. I could do it, but I dunno if the negative thoughts in my head about food are what causes me such grief everytime I eat.

I used to be able to eat anything and everything, and then go relax and chill, no pain, no nothin, except for a headache here or there, but my blood pressure was very high 170/101. My blood pressure is now 120/82.

My main symptom now is chest pains. Not extremely painful, like, "OMG, I can't move, I think I'm having a heart attack," but it's dull, sometimes a tad bit sharp, and recurring. I've had it for months, and it's usually after I eat. I let it bother me for so long, that I decided to try and ignore it, but it keeps coming back, and I get thudding heartbeats when tying to go to sleep at night. I dunno if it's a run of tachycardia or what, but I dunno if it's still the anxiety, or my body responding to the weight loss. That's what makes it so confusing.

I do have periodic acid reflux, and the doctor put me on prilosec for a while, but it didn't do anything. Neither did the Maalox, and I had real bad heartburn and chest pressure for a while. I stopped taking the drugs, drank more milk and started eating high fiber foods like Kashi (which I eat every morning for breakfast) and the heartburn slowly went away.

Can anyone explain the chest pains, tension headaches, and thudding heartbeats? Is it anxiety, or my body still adjusting to the massive weight loss in 7 months?

[Dahrol]

bump