Confused about symptoms

I'm 24 year old female. I'm not sure what my problem is, I see a therapist. I have been going to day hospital, but the doctors, etc. said that they are not concerned about figuring out a diagnosis, just concerned with treating. But, I think it would help me if I had some idea about what's wrong with me. I tend to think tere is something wrong with my brain and fear that I am dying and I think knowing my diagnosis will help me. Anyway, I am on Abilify, which is an antipsychotic, I suffer from hallucinations, depersonalization, derealization (they told me it was a form of dissociation), paranoia, anger (caused by the paranoia), I'm pretty "anti-social", very isolated. I self-mutilate(mainly because of the derealization) I have thoughts of suicide, and I have been feeling pretty depressed lately, My thoughts are ofthen disorganized and it is hard for me to communicate. I feel like my thought process is messed up, and I often draw blanks, like I have lack of thoughts, and forget words.I somethime feel, nothing for anyone. Ansd sometimes I get confussed easily What I am wondering is, could this be anxiety? Because I read on here, and some of the people have some of the same symptoms as I do. Sorry for the long, disorganized post.

[kalie1979]

You sound just like me. Like right now, my husband is taking a nap and I feel soo alone like I have no one. Also I am Very anti-social i dont have many friends besides people at work. I always think something is wrong with me, like iam going to die. I have been to Many doctors, therapy, and other things to try and get better, but none of it works. Did this just start or did you have some type of trama as a child?

[beckswastedlife]

Hi. Well , I'm glad I'm not alone. I don't have any friends either, it's hard for me to connect with people, I guess. Yes, I was abused as a child.

[kalie1979]

If doctors dont seem to be concerned then your like everyone else i know with anxiety. Unless you find a really good caring one they are never going to give you the answers you need to hear. I found that out the hard way. Im not really blamming my childhood but i had a lot of trama there. But for some people, you dont have to have something horrible happen to you. its just genetics. Its just something a lot of people have. Im 31 and still trying to figure how to deal with it. I have good days than bad, so I never know what to expect when i wake up.Just know your not alone, there are soo many people like us. When did you go on medication for your symptoms?

[Keeperofsecrets]

You sound alot like myself also was abused as a child and have many of your symptoms I have been unmedicated and un treated for the past five years wen it occurred    

[beckswastedlife]

Thank you both for your replies. It does make me feel better. I just recently started the medication this month. I don't always take it (which I know is probably stupid) but, there's too many side effects and seems to mess with my pyhsical health.

[Keeperofsecrets]

You mentioned hallucinations may I ask wat they were of if your comfortable maybe your mind is trying to tell you somthing I'm not a doctor but maybe confronting the root and coming to terms may be of benefit to you I know I see a pyramid in my hallucinations      

[beckswastedlife]

I mainly see bugs,like when I look at grown it is make up of millions of moving bugs,etc and usually occurs when I'm experiencing derealization. I have come to terms with my abuse, and doesn't really "haunt" me. When I do think about it I just get angry, mainly because the person who abused me denies it.

[pittfan17]

Im+not+a+doctor+but+i+have+alot+of+experience+with+mental+problems.sounds+like+schizophrenia+may+be+worth+asking+about.+And+another+therapist+who+knows+what+theyre+doing.the+disorganized+thoughts+and+communication.hallucinations+and+not+feeling+anything+4+anybody+are+all+possible+signs+of+the+disorder+and+also+the+unreal+thinking.let+me+know+how+things+turn+out+4+u.but+please+by+all+means+find+another+doctor.

[beckswastedlife]

I don't know much about schizophrenia or anything like that. I just want to be help. I am on Abilify, and it has helped with the paranoia and anger (to a point). But I have been experiencing the derealization more frequently which tends to bring along the hallucinations aswell. I don't know what to do. The derealization has gotten worse.

[pittfan17]

Well+your+symptoms+sound+an+awful+lot+like+it.dont+be+afraid+to+find+the+problem.its+not+like+u+chose+to+have+this.google+schizophrenia+to+learn+more+about+it.write+down+all+your+symptoms+take+them+to+a+doctor+and+tell+him+u+think+u+might+have+it.best+wishes+and+prayers

[beckswastedlife]

I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and a psychotic disorder, nonorganic...whatever that means.

[turkee23]

im going thru some anxiety myself and never had to deal with stuff like this before.

i constantly feel dizzy/lightheaded, constant worry about the way i feel, dont sleep good unless i take a xanax,sweaty palms

and they think its anxiety, and all everyone says is "just think about something else, or dont think about it"............WELL THATS FREAKIN HARD!!!!.....

i had all the test and they are all normal, but how come im not normal??

[beckswastedlife]

I understand how you feel. It seems once a person is tagged with a diagnosis of anxiety, people longer take them seriously (doctors,etc.). What do you feel it may be that's causing these symptoms? I was told that anxiety can cause a lot of physical symptoms.