Aa
Confused...worried...what now?
Hello,
I am hoping posting this today will help help me get through what i have been experiencing these past 2 months, and to shed some light as to what exactly is going on and where do I go from here.
I'll try and start from the beginning....10 months ago I was going through a really stressful time in my life, numerous issues all at once, and considering my life has been pretty good till that point, I let it consume me. In the comfort of my own home I had what I later found out was a panic attack. Doctor said it was due to all the stress and because of the Zyban I was taking to quit smoking. I had a few more over the next few days(not as intense). I took lorazepam for about a week, and told myself "I dont need these pills" through them out and life went back to normal(no attacks).
Fast forward 6 months, and I was having job issues again (I worked night shift and tried desperately for a year to get off that schedule). Actually now that I think about I didnt try at all, just complained....
So Im out with a friend at a restaurant, and boom I get this feeling that all the blood in my head just rushed down. Felt the weirdest feeling and felt like I turned completely pale. Yet my complexion was fine.(Also no pulpitations) I was eating many dif types of raw sushi so I assumed poisoning right away. Never had any symtoms of poisoning but felt extremely anxious over the next few days. Started having attacks again, usually in lineups at the store or in my car. (couldnt put on the seatbelt, i felt like it would trigger another). Every time I ate I felt the same blood rush from my head...that went away.. Then when talking to people after a few words(i usually talk alot) I would get the same feeling.
Told my doctor everything and he leaned back in his chair and said everything would be fine...take this and take that. No follow up, no explanation. As I have never gone through this before all I wanted was that prescription, as it felt like a lottery ticket at the time. I was taking NOVO-VENLAFAXINE XR and Clonazepam. 5 days after I started treatment, I think i made the mistake of listening to others and stopped the medication. Started researching(google) everything I was taking and got so angry about the side effects and needing it for years, etc...I just stopped taking the NOVO and thought I was surely dying in the the next few weeks. I got jolts, and all these feelings running down my back, to the point I would have to clinch my buttcheeks to bear it.(would last anywhere from 1-10 seconds). After reading up I learned about the "brain shivers" and all the withdrawal symptoms associated with SSRI drugs. (I had many of them) Is it normal to experience these symptoms after taking for only 5 days and stopping abruptly?. Also I was taking clonazepam every time I felt these jolts, thinking they were some form of another attack. I went to emergency and they said side effects to the clonazepam. So they gave me lorazepam again. Took 2 over the next week...
Went to see a new doctor and started doing all kinds of tests. ECG, Heart Ultrasound, and cardio stress test. I asked for some neuro testing, MRI, and doctor said I dont need it. If I never read anything about the brain shivers I probably would have demanded one with all my life.....
So I stopped taking everything for 2 weeks started drinking relaxing teas and some homeopathic remedies and all"brain shiver" symptoms are gone. I still feel dizzy like crazy and feel like there is 2 magnets, 1 on the outside of my head and one on the inside. Extreme pressure. My balance is off. And feel like an attack is just around the corner. My anxiety is through the roof now. On a sidenote I have always felt dizzy at times and the bowling ball feeling for many years. I used to blame it on smoking. I also quit smoking after 14 years 3 weeks ago so i definately have been experiencing withdrawal symptoms. I take a nicorrette gum here and there, 1 -2 a day but its pretty much been cold turkey...
So now my doctor wants to start me on a 25mg dosage of Zoloft for 3 weeks..Then increasing to 50mg. Im afraid to start after reading the stories of people on it for years and cant get off and all the side effects. Based on the rambling above and my anxiety level right now, should I proceed with Zoloft ? I am beginning to think Its the only way....Is this all I need ? No other anti-anxiety med or will this do the trick...?
I am not working right now and have no desire to find work because I can honestly say that this has consumed me over the last few weeks. I have no temper issue, am laid back, and real personable. But it seems impossible to be myself right now.
Sorry for the rambling and the novel i just wrote(trying to be specific) I hope someone can decipher through it and shed some light, give me a suggestion, and give me hope in my situation. I thank you in advance....
So about YOU, yes I would be skeptical about another SSRI since you had that reaction, but that is just my opinion and I don't want to influence you, but would rather encourage you to do your own research, like you are, and maybe post this very good question to Ryan and see what he has to say. Some people can take this type of drug and it's a miracle for them so........
I hope you're feeling better today and as far as your experience with doctors, well, you're not alone believe me. I have come to trust the experience of hundreds of people over what doctors think and these forums have been of more help than anything I've ever come across.
Thinking of you..........
P.S. Maybe just some Valium to get over this hump in your life.....ask Ryan.
I hope you're feeling better today and as far as your experience with doctors, well, you're not alone believe me. I have come to trust the experience of hundreds of people over what doctors think and these forums have been of more help than anything I've ever come across.
Thinking of you..........
P.S. Maybe just some Valium to get over this hump in your life.....ask Ryan.
Well, my DREAM is to not take any meds, but that won't happen anytime soon. I have been taking the short term benzos since 1980. First it was Ativan till about 1995, then Xanax to date. I have been taking these meds at night for insomnia and not until I discovered this forum did I know how dangerous and addictive they were. My doctors have just handed them right out without any warning what so ever. So now I am severely addicted and afraid to stop. I take between 1.5mg-2mg at night and only since I quit smoking cigs in July have I needed say .25 on occasion during the day. I am determined to keep the dose at 2mg in 24hrs no matter what. I have had anxiety/social anxiety since I was very little due to a poor home environment so I know I'll never just be a relaxed person, but through a lot of self help in the last 4yrs I've become a much happier more stable person. And like I said earlier, cutting out the cigs AND weed has helped temendously and worrying about what others are thinking of me has pretty much vanished.
Oh, and another thing, I took LSD when I was a teenager, not a lot, but probably enough to cement the anxiety issue for life. For some it only takes once. Of course, that was 30yrs ago so I feel like I am living proof of how drugs can effect ones life, for life, in a negative forever way. I have had that buzzing feeling in my body as long as I can remember and have become somewhat used to it. I don't normally have panic attacks, thank God, otherwise I would probably have to be medicated during the day which I try to avoid at all costs. See.....I'm anxious just sitting here and could go on and on and on...............
Take good care and sorry if this is too much info :)
Oh, and another thing, I took LSD when I was a teenager, not a lot, but probably enough to cement the anxiety issue for life. For some it only takes once. Of course, that was 30yrs ago so I feel like I am living proof of how drugs can effect ones life, for life, in a negative forever way. I have had that buzzing feeling in my body as long as I can remember and have become somewhat used to it. I don't normally have panic attacks, thank God, otherwise I would probably have to be medicated during the day which I try to avoid at all costs. See.....I'm anxious just sitting here and could go on and on and on...............
Take good care and sorry if this is too much info :)
Nevermind the lorazepam question, silly me realized the answer was in your previous reply. I guess Im just being anxious....lol
And about the herbs I quit myself for the same reasons. We used to call it a bad buzz but it was actually anxiety and panic. I believe all my anxiety symptoms are directly related to smoking pot and dropping E. I've read that weed can actually worsen anxiety, so im assuming it can contribute to it as well. Also definately the ecstacy, I never used to worry about "whos watching me" until I was under the influence of this mind altering drug. I have had some of the best times of my life on ecstacy but I guess it came with a little baggage.
So FMXSMKR, you dont take any meds for your anxiety ?
And about the herbs I quit myself for the same reasons. We used to call it a bad buzz but it was actually anxiety and panic. I believe all my anxiety symptoms are directly related to smoking pot and dropping E. I've read that weed can actually worsen anxiety, so im assuming it can contribute to it as well. Also definately the ecstacy, I never used to worry about "whos watching me" until I was under the influence of this mind altering drug. I have had some of the best times of my life on ecstacy but I guess it came with a little baggage.
So FMXSMKR, you dont take any meds for your anxiety ?
Thanks again for the further info. I am trying to take all this in without getting frustrated. I definately am for the most part but I am frustrated at the 2 doctors I have dealt with. I feel they literally sent me out blind to deal with this, and 95% of what I learned so far has been through my own research. The doctor I am dealing with now just sent me out to take Zoloft after I described in detail everything she couldnt clarify anything for me, rolled her eyes when I asked for an MRI, and put me on more SSRI. By having that reaction to one of them I am skeptical about another. Is it safe to say that if 1 of the SSRI's had that effect on me the rest of the family might do the same ? ER told me brain shivers were from the Clonazepam, I now know it was from the SSRI. I only took for 4 days, i forget the dose but i know it was low, and what I felt was so extreme I am still getting over it.
I need to break this cycle of attacks that I am getting, I am definately not depressed, without this anxiety (the worsened state it is now, and the lesser from the past) I can fully be myself.
So FMXSMKR im considering going back to my doctor(or another) and suggesting to take the Klonopin regulary for a short period of time. Also just noticed Clonazepam is Klonopin. And now that I think about it , taking it helped with anxiety. Can Lorazepam(Ativan) be taken regularly ?
I have read some of Ryan's comments and definately agree with his knowledge. Hopefully he can chime in and share his expertise/opinion. I would appreciate it greatly.
I need to break this cycle of attacks that I am getting, I am definately not depressed, without this anxiety (the worsened state it is now, and the lesser from the past) I can fully be myself.
So FMXSMKR im considering going back to my doctor(or another) and suggesting to take the Klonopin regulary for a short period of time. Also just noticed Clonazepam is Klonopin. And now that I think about it , taking it helped with anxiety. Can Lorazepam(Ativan) be taken regularly ?
I have read some of Ryan's comments and definately agree with his knowledge. Hopefully he can chime in and share his expertise/opinion. I would appreciate it greatly.
Okay, first the Lorazepam is Ativan which is in the same "short term benzo" class as Xanax. It should only be used "occasionally" otherwise tolerance becomes an issue quickly and you will need more and more to achieve the same effect, then rebound anxiety comes into play. These short acting benzos work differently than, say, Valium or Klonopin. Klonopin seems to be a drug of choice on this forum for chronic anxiety and if you put Klonopin up in the search engine you will read many stories and questions responded to by "Ryan" Ryan is a wonderful resource on this forum when it comes to pretty much any kind of prescription question.
Your symptoms in public sound exactly like mine which is social anxiety. It's been hard to get a handle on all these years because, like you, I self medicated alot. I am 48 now and stopped smoking for good 2wks ago, but started that process back in July. I stopped abusing drugs many years ago now, oh and stopped smoking weed back in July too after smoking for many many years. The difference after not smoking weed has been extreme for me. That stuff was beginning to cause panic attacks and I've felt almost 100% better not smoking it. I've also been walking for the last five months which helps the anxiety, so really, it's all about just taking care of yourself, you know? The anxiety is always there for me, but I've learned to control it with more positive thinking. This is all what has worked for me, someone else may have something more insightful to say :-)
Thinking of you................
Your symptoms in public sound exactly like mine which is social anxiety. It's been hard to get a handle on all these years because, like you, I self medicated alot. I am 48 now and stopped smoking for good 2wks ago, but started that process back in July. I stopped abusing drugs many years ago now, oh and stopped smoking weed back in July too after smoking for many many years. The difference after not smoking weed has been extreme for me. That stuff was beginning to cause panic attacks and I've felt almost 100% better not smoking it. I've also been walking for the last five months which helps the anxiety, so really, it's all about just taking care of yourself, you know? The anxiety is always there for me, but I've learned to control it with more positive thinking. This is all what has worked for me, someone else may have something more insightful to say :-)
Thinking of you................
I quit drinking coffee 2 months ago. I have not touched any drugs in over 3 years. Used to smoke marijuana regularly for 6-7 years. Did ecstacy alot for about 2 years. Binged here and there on cocaine. Excessive social drinker. (used to help with anxiety now that I think of it.)
FMXSMKR you say use lorazepam with caution. Please elaborate further on that if you can.
Also everyone says "my anxiety" .I guess its safe to say it could be different in many ways. Mine I seemed to have developed in social situations...it was always there but I managed through it, (few drinks, going out for a smoke, etc...) but there were never any physical symptoms before(attacks)...But I have always felt that brain fog people refer 2 when in long lineups, malls, and sometimes in face to face to conversations....
FMXSMKR you say use lorazepam with caution. Please elaborate further on that if you can.
Also everyone says "my anxiety" .I guess its safe to say it could be different in many ways. Mine I seemed to have developed in social situations...it was always there but I managed through it, (few drinks, going out for a smoke, etc...) but there were never any physical symptoms before(attacks)...But I have always felt that brain fog people refer 2 when in long lineups, malls, and sometimes in face to face to conversations....
P.S. Cut out all caffeine and also, sometimes, antihistimines can cause one to feel jittery. Your calming teas are a good start and I found that walking helped to calm down my anxiety as well.
I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with Venora, I would not take the Zoloft, but rather use the lorazepam with caution to get you through the nicotine withdrawals. I quit smoking back in July and anxiety attacks and spaced out feelings sent me to the ER twice in 3 days. I think, if one suffers from anxiety, which is why alot of us start to smoke in the first place, then withdrawal from nicotine can be more of an intense experience. Not everyone has the same experience, but I felt similar to what you're describing and it took over a month to feel even decent. Zoloft is an SSRI and may or may not intensify your anxiety. Also, there are stories on here of people taking an ssri only once and ending up in a nightmare!
Hope you feel better.....
Hope you feel better.....
Proceed with the zoloft this anxiety thing is usually a life time thing and the med will help you beat it. also therapy will help as well you would be surprized at the things we stuff till they surface as anxiety. Let me know hwo you do on the zoloft.
Love Venora
Love Venora
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