Dealing with anxiety in a relationship

[RBelanger]

Hi,

I have been together with my boyfriend for 4 years now and he has been suffering from anxiety for a large period of his life (he is 21 years old) but for the past year his anxiety and moods have worsened so he just started taking medication. I am not sure what exactly he is taking but it is supposed to take a couple weeks for it to really start taking effect. I am having a really hard time dealing with his moods, and every since he's been on the medication it seems as though his moods have gotten worse and some days he acts like a completely different person. We have been talking about marriage, and we have always thought that we would eventually get married but the past couple days he has been acting strange, and now he is telling me he doesn't feel he can act like himself with me. This is very shocking to me because I thought everything was fine, so I'm wondering if anyone has felt like this before, and went through a similar situation. I am also curious if the antianxiety medication can possibly change someone's personality for the worse?

[RBelanger]

Thank you both, I do try to support him with everything he does, and we got into a huge fight saying that I'm not putting effort into the relationship when I really am. We are on the verge of breaking up, and he is saying he needs time to think about things because the why I've been acting, but aside from that, this is coming out of nowhere, and everything was fine until we had a big fight on friday...im just so shocked because I thought we had a great relationship, and he has been bringing up all my flaws in the relationship. I am just heartbroken and really taken aback about the whole situation..he was fine a couple of days ago...

[panicattackparty]

I have had severe anxiety for the past year, but have not sought medical help for it. I have, however, taken anxiety medication like xanax/klonopin recreationally on occasion.  All it does is make you not care about things that would normally cause you anxiety, it doesn't change your mood or anything.

From my personal experience, my moods change due to things that other people would consider ridiculous.  Some irrational thought that I suddenly get into my head in the middle of a party will send my anxiety level through the roof and I'll suddenly become withdrawn and sad and not want to talk to anyone else.  This could happen mid conversation with someone... it's pretty nuts.

An example:  A girl I've recently begun dating who I know likes me a whole lot (more than I think she should) will make phrase something in a text message in such a way that I immediately assume I've botched something and she never wants to talk to me again... Like I read sarcasm into things that she says over the phone or in person that are sincere, that most people wouldn't read sarcasm into.  Its kind of hard to explain, but do you see what I mean?  Or maybe my heart makes a funny beat or feels funny for a second.  I immediately assume I'm about to have a heart attack, my anxiety skyrockets which causes me to have actual heart attack symptoms... its like a self fulfilling prophecy that kills my mood and makes me withdraw.

I wish I could explain it better, but it's hard.  I have internalized all of this, so most people are not aware of it.  It seems like your boyfriend has let you in more than I have to my friends.  If I had to guess, I would say that what he means when he can't be his-self around you is that he feels like if he acts normally you won't like him anymore.  If he's like me, he also feels like you're way to good for him and he probably has no idea what you see in him.  

I could be wrong, I don't know.  But if I were you, next time he acts weird or gets all sad for no reason just tell him you love him and why.  If you tell him why, it'll make him feel better about himself and give him something to think about every time his anxiety gets out of control- good feelings that come from positive thoughts about yourself do as much as any pill for anxiety, in my experience.