Fear of Catching Disease

[Paul525]

I am having trouble coming to grips with this. A few months ago, I went for a massage. It was fairly a fairly straight forward massage, advertised in the "Therapuetic" section (craiglist). As such, no sex of any kind, but a couple weeks later I saw the same ad in the "Body Rubs" section (more erotic) and I immediately thought the person offering the massage was a prostitute and because of this I was exposed to hiv or other stds.

The problem I have is that I remember having a few scratchs on my leg where I was lightly rubbed with oils or lotions. I also had a couple of small nicks, perhaps no larger than a milimeter in diamater. But because I came into the massage thinking it was Therapuetic, I wasn't checking the massuese's hands. Luckily I didn't see any blood smeared around anywhere, but somehow I can't seem to get past these "what if questions". What if she had a very small cut on her hand, and I didn't see it, and somehow the small amount of blood came in contact with my small scratches.  She used oil, would oil have killed any blood born pathogens.

I had my doubts about the massage, it didn't really seem like the lady knew what she was doing, and I was little tense after the massage. Mind you I work underwear the whole time, but it struck me as odd when she kept asking me if I wanted to take them off.

Anways to make a long story short, I kept looking at my scratches when I got home, and although I didn't see any streaks of blood, my mind keeps telling me that "well if she had a cut, it probably wasn't a big cut" and that "she may have still had a small cut" and "you might actually have not have seen the very small amount of blood on her hand" and that "even if that small amount of blood mixed with oils, it would have come in contact with your scratches it could infect you."

What makes me feel worse is that, I was playing around with these scratches when I got home, and nicked the scratch with my finger nail, and it bleed a little and it looked a little redder than before in the light. I keep thinking that there was blood underneath the little scap and that viruses could have gone through the scab and gotten into the little blood underneath, and I could have been infected. But then I kept thinking that why would only the nicks look redder and not the area around the nick?

I am nervous wreck. A week later I had some weird sensations, like a numb tongue and face, and although it could be due to allergies, I can't help but think it was due to some type of infection, and I am just nervous. I was also reading on the internet that HIV causes "neurological symptoms" and that maybe this numbness was a neurological symptom and or maybe it was a swollen lymph gland.

I think this is all very irrational, but unforunately, my makeup is very logical and sometimes totally the opposite.

[RubyWitch]

I was gartified to read at the end of your story that you think all this is irrational, because it is! And I mean absolutely NO offense by that.........I am just constantly amazed at the real lack of knowledge about this virus. There is so much information available out there, it is taught in schools, it's on the Internet, it's posted in doctors offices and medical centers...........it's everywhere, and yet so many people still carry around the myths and misinformation, the fears and the paranoia from years ago.
In this age of information, I find that unacceptable.

I am not going to go through your entire post, point by point, and explain why you do not have to worry about HIV. I am going to explain a few things and then I am hoping you will take it upon yourself to continue to educate yourself about HIV.

There are three (3) ways you can contract HIV:

1) Having UNPROTECTED anal/vaginal sex with an HIV+ partner
2) Sharing drug works (needles) with a known HIV+ person
3) Mother to unborn child

If you did not engage in ANY of the above activities with the woman who gave you the massage, you had NO RISK.

It doesn't matter AT ALL about your hang-nails or your nicks, cuts, scrapes or scabs OR hers either!

HIV is killed immediately upon contact with human saliva and air. IMMEDIATELY.
HIV can only be transmitted INSIDE the human body.

Allow me to get a bit graphic.........You could have oral sex with an SW (prostitute) who is HIV+ and having her period and you would STILL NOT BE AT RISK!
  
Because air immediately kills HIV, you cannot catch it from ANY environmental surface which includes virtually everything OUTSIDE the human body.............like toilet seats and faucets and door knobs and drinking fountains or pens & pencils or trees or swimming pools or tether balls or............ANYTHING. Even if those things were smeared with an HIV+ persons blood, the virus would be long dead. INSTANTLY dead. There would be NO RISK!

I work in a hospital and we have many patients with full blown aids. Over the course of many years, I have been bled on, puked on, shat on, peed on, cried on, been stuck with "dirty" needles and I've also been privileged to have been hugged and kissed by these wonderful people. I do not have HIV.

As for your "weird sensations," your numb tongue and face, if anything, I'd put those down to anxiety, hypochondria and paranoia. Those MAY be "neurological symptoms," but they sure as hell aren't from HIV.

Stop reading the garbage on the Net and start reading material from the HIV/AIDS National Education Center, or call your local HIV Hotline and request educational material or take a class or attend an HIV support group and tell them you wish to learn the truth.
Don't worry, they won't bite.........and even if they did, NO RISK!

Greenlydia