HIV Anxiety

[needhelptonight]

Hi.  I do want to be honest. I am on a combination of Alprazolam .25 (anxiety) and Prochlorperazine 5MG (nausea), Disulfiram (alcohol abuse) and Prilosec (stomach issues).  Why?  This stemmed from risky behavior on business trip in LV.  I was asked to change forums because the HIV forums (and may be quite accurate I just don't know) that my issues may be in my mind.  It could be.  I hope it is.  So here I am wanting to know how I deal with this combination of mania and depression that I am having.  It comes in surges and and at time borders on helplessness.  Sometimes turns into shortness of breath as it did today when I spoke with my doctor as well as the HIV/Suicide hotline.  I am struggling with this anxiety and understanding the effects of what stress can cause on ones own body.  Sometimes when I wake up I am okay -- feel okay, not great, but okay.  But as the day wears on, the worries of HIV begin to settle in and it becomes overwhelming so I start popping the Alpraolam in half pill dosages.  What else can I do?  I suppose go for a walk.  How does one deal with this long term if the window for being tested is so long?   I think that you can see I am struggling because my mind is really doing a number on me.  Hopefully I have not broken the rules of this forum as well.  If I have my apologies.  Did not mean to and should have read through the beginning more carefully.  My doc has recommended me to several pyschs, one of whom I am seeing Weds.  In addition he has asked if I would consider AD's.  I did this once before during an alcoholic "bottoming out" once before.  I fet like I was replacing Alcohol with Paxil or Lexapro.  It evened me out almost too much as I felt like i was walking around in a cloud.  Any guidance is always appreciated as I do want to get my life in order.  Recommendations on anti anxiety methods, drugs, thoughts...all is appreciated.  

[needhelptonight]

Thank you for you reply.  I am going to see my first psych in a long time on Weds morning.  In the mean time I am staying the meds.  As for your comments regarding the HIV Prevention Community, I am sure they are going with the best information that I can provide and at the end of the day - you just don't know until you do all the tests.  I am struggling to really pull the whole picture together for me, second guessing the whole episode - did sex worker place the condom, was correct, did it fail -- it's anyone's guess at this point).  That's one part of my anxiety.  The other part is living with and yet not knowing what my situation actually is -- i have never, never imagined being sick where my armpits hurt.  Sure I have imagined having HIV with the headaches, stomach issues, nausea, etc.  But the pain under the armpits has my worried -- which is forcing me to replay this bad drama over and over in the hope that it will go away..  And the third part is having to tell my fiance about this (which I did last night) -- knowing that I may have not just emotionally, but physically harmed her as well.    For me this an awful lot to bear.  My relatives as has my finance have told me not to dwell on this and that next week will be here soon enough (figure of speech).  For me this has been horrible experience (unfortunately one that I have repeated through the years through my lack of alcohol control).  AD's could help but really to me are nothing more than alcohol, an escape valve instead of learning to deal and cope.

[nursegirl6572]

Hello and welcome.  No worries, you didn't break any rules!

If you were told you had no risk on the HIV Prevention Community, you can take that to the bank.

As for anxiety...anxiety manifests is many ways causing many physical symptoms.  Once you can manage to get your anxiety under control, those anxiety related symptoms will resolve.

As for medications, the most optimal way to treat anxiety and depression for the long term IS by using antidepressants.  If you didn't like the way Paxil made you feel, you can ask your doc to try you on another med.  Remember, you must give these meds 4-6 weeks to do their thing before you can judge whether or not the med is going to work for you.

I would also recommend therapy to help you work through your fears and learn ways to cope with anxiety.

Best of luck..let us know how it is going!